Wednesday, February 24, 2010

When You Lose Someone, I'm Sorry and Why

I received word that my very good friend's mother died.  Horrible.  Sad. Speechless.  These are the times that become so hard to find the language to express how you feel.  These are the times where awkward moments precede the normal conversation.  These are the times we are always faced with our own mortalities and those of our loved ones.  And that always scares us.  So we get quiet and use the most famous words during these times:WHY & I'm sorry. 

I think the phrase, "I'm sorry," was created in place of , "Oh, my God, I have no idea what to say right now...I feel horrible for you...I wish this wasn't happening."  The word, "Why," is part of the grieving process, I understand.  But who wouldn't ask, "Why?  Why did mom have to go now, when I needed her most."  or "I was just talking to her yesterday, and she was so happy." or "She was so healthy." or "I wish I hadn't said the things I did...or I was going to finally visit her today."

So the only thing I could do is tell my friend and his family that I was sorry; that I am there for them even if they need me to do laundry or babysit; that I'm here is they just want someone to listen or hold them.  I posted something on their page: I will keep her and your family who I love so much in my know how I know she's great? She raised a GREAT and AMAZING family! I love you me if you need me, and I truly will be there! Love & Blessings!  That is all you can do, my friends...the best thing you can do for your friend who has lost a  loved one is BE THERE...whether it is to hold them, to listen, to encourage them, or to pray for them - with them, on their behalf, to say you love them, to honor them...but BE THERE.    Hold their hand, go to the services, call them and say hello every day until you know that they're okay...and then call them again. 

To the Venuto family:  You befriended me during a time in my life when I needed to experience something new. You showed me love, you opened a new world to me, and took me places where I've never been.  Because of you, I understand that families who love and are functional DO exist. Because of you, I have felt like I have a bigger family who accepts me.  Because of you I have laughed and learned Italian, and had pasta with crabs and gravy.  You've lifted me during some of my darkest moments. Because of you, I am blessed with the greatest friends.  This blog is dedicated to "Nonna"...may she rest in peace and I thank her for raising a BRILLIANT family.  I love you.  I'm praying for you.  I'm here for you.     

To My fans:  Hug your loved one their honor.  Thank you.

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