Tuesday, August 21, 2012


The cast of Elliot Loves (I'm on the right - yippee!) Thursday, August 16th - 5:30pm Today was the day of the NYC premiere screening for Elliot Loves. I was SO excited to finally see this film. I was cast in it last year, and I have been quickly educated in the LONG amount of time it takes for an independent film to come to fruition. I was finally going to see it! I arrived at the NY International Latino Film Festival in Washington Heights - or as we say in Spanish "Gwash-eeng-tong Highz"!!! I didn't know what to expect, and I didn't even know how to dress. When I texted the director, Gary Terracino, I asked how should I dress. He texted back, "Something nice." Wow, lol, no clarification there. So when in doubt, ladies, wear a dress. My best friend, Brenda, came with me...she knows how much this meant to me. And as soon as I parked my car, Terracino grabbed me so I could go on the red carpet and do interviews. Oh. Okay. I didn't know I was doing that. I had a very small part, so I didn't think I would be needed. The first thing the photographers asked me to do was take off my jacket. Huh? Why? I had on a very colorful long summer dress, with a cool necklace, paired with an orange jacket & small gold buttons. I HAD to be the most colorful girl there, lol...everyone else seemed to be in NYC appropriate night evening black. I couldn't, didn't want to remove my jacket. Know why? Shhh...come closer so I can whisper in your ear. Ready? The straps to the dress were too big & kept falling over. There was no time to change dresses or go back home so I kept it real & held them in the back with safety pins! LOL LOL LOL. Two things: #1 I didn't need them to see my cute silver safety pins and #2 no one needed to see my chichos. Chichos = love handles. So I kindly declined & one of the photographers heard me say they didn't need to see my chichos and he laughed out loud. It was a LOT of fun to stand there & here people say, "Judy, this way, please." It was also a lot of fun to be interviewed because you could feel the excitement in the air. One of the interviewers forgot my name, which I LOVED...it was hilarious! And because I've interviewed people on the radio - I know how hard it is to remember so much information so quickly. So I answered her questions and did what I could so she could feel comfortable. I figure if people really liked the interview they'll put two and two together. But by far, the best part was watching Terracino...He is a handsome, intelligent and extremely artistic man. He has all the makings of a fine filmmaker. One who, one day, I hope receives an academy award for best film one day! 7:35pm LATINO TIME -The movie was supposed to begin at 7pm. And I laughed inside because after all it was Dominican Night in NYC, the film was directed by a Dominican Latino, sponsored by HBO & Heineken...I just wasn't surprised they were running late. I discovered during the announcements that Elliot Loves took more than 4 years to come to life. The movie had been financially backed 4 times - and 4 times the businesses had gone out of business. And it was then I learned how DETERMINED Terracino and the producers had to be. I also recalled that while we were filming last year,they were asking for donations, etc...and I donated $1000. I also recalled that I was being paid only $100 for the day I filmed...and I didn't care. I just wanted to be part of it all. I wanted the experience, I loved the script, I loved the people and I wanted to know what being on set felt like. To this day, I have not been paid. No one knows...well, now they do, lol...but I don't want to be paid. Being in the film was a gift to me. To me, they did ME a favor, not vice-versa. So the movie began, and I was immediately drawn in. It was the first time I saw a "gay" movie. In other words, the movie is about a boy named Elliot who happens to be gay. And while I see many reality shows with a gay character, I have never seen a movie where central character is gay - well at least, not since the movie Philadelphia. I remember the director, Terracino, telling the cast how he was "almost done with editing." But watching it all edited was a different story. I found myself relaxed and enthralled in it. I was laughing, I was FEELING, and surprisingly, at the end, I couldn't stop crying...but I'll tell you about that in a minute. I was waiting to see where in the movie I was coming in. I noticed the scene had begun, and I nudged Brenda's knee, like 'This is it!' I was sitting next to Javier Rosa, the film's make-up artist, and his mother...they nudged me too. I was smiling. Oh! Wow! That's ME! HUGE! LOL...that's me on film...holy crap! The scene is a funny one and people were laughing out loud. And it felt damned good! I said one line and people laughed...I was glad. I only had three lines in the film...but who the hell cares!! LOL LOL. Oh, it was such a validation to feel the joy of knowing I can make people laugh & smile! The movie goes back and forth between Elliot as a boy, and Elliot as a young man...and it goes back and forth between Elliot's flawed & dysfunctional relationship with his mother and how it affects his relationships in his search for love. The movie exceeded my expectations. It had REAL heart. It told a REAL story about what we all want: to laugh in life, to be noticed, to be validated, to be accepted and to be LOVED!! When the movie was over, I found myself overwhelmed with emotion. I was crying. Brenda was crying. We were all crying...even the Heineken and HBO people were crying. And when I got to my car & began the ride home with Brenda, I was STILL crying. And Brenda so eloquently understood my tears without my saying a word. "Did you see that, my friend? Look, you played Madison Square Garden and now this! Did you ever think you would be in a movie? Chica, you have done AMAZING things in your life!! Don't you feel good?" As I tried to speak through my tears, I replied, "Chica, I can't even speak! I mean, I knew the movie would be good but WOW! And to see my big face on the big screen, hahaha, it was an incredible feeling! And it just makes me want to do more! It's not that I'm not grateful, it just makes me realize that I want to do much, much more with my life! And to see my name on the credits!!!! Oh. My. God. How freaking awesome is that? Not only was my name on the credits, but I saw the credit that gave me the most pride: Judy Torres, Associate Producer!!" Yes, that's right. I am an associate producer among many - but it was because I believed in the project, so I donated some funds - and so did SO many others! LOL. And it was a proud moment for me...not just being in the film but knowing that I invested in a movie that had substance - a film that meant something - that had life lessons intrinsic in its story!! I heard through the grapevine that HBO may be looking at the movie. I also understand that the film is being released in New York City for full viewing in October, AND will be released on Amazon.com as well in October! Elliot Loves represents the pure heart & desire for love, represents commitment & determination when people say no...you say YES! Elliot's motto in the film is "Keep it Cute, Papi!!" I really LOVE Elliot Loves!! And I hope you do too - in your life, keep it cute! Check out the trailer http://vimeo.com/38051803

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Come September, I will be back on the performance train, and I can't wait. In the meantime, I've been considering other things I can do to take my 25 year career and turn it into 50. So, last week, I met with my manager to talk about a strategy. I wanted him to know that in addition to performing all my hits on a regular basis, I also want to branch out into musical theater (which has always been a passion of mine since high school), acting in theater & television and possibly pursuing becoming a talk show host. For some reason, I really believe the talk show host thing could happen. I get a little tingle when I talk about it. I was sure that my manager, Gary, would be against it, and give me the whole stay-where-people-know-you speech. But when I mentioned it to him, he AGREED!! Wow. I couldn't believe it. As he began to tell me what his plan is (which is a pretty good one), he looked up my Facebook, and began to explain to me the importance of having more than 100,000 LIKES on Facebook for the industry & media to pay attention to you. He pointed out to me that I only had 38,505 likes, otherwise known as fans. I told him that every single one of the 38,505 fans is organic, REAL! Yes, my friends, you may not know it, but there are secret ways in the industry to get more likes in a more dishonest way. But I will NOT be a part of it. When I was in 8th grade, a boy I had a crush on, begged me to give him an answer during the test. To win his affections, I gave it to him...and I got caught. It was the first and last time I ever cheated. No sir, I won't do it again. So, I just need to find new & more exciting ways to gain new fans, keep the ones that are already there & get everyone talking...but I will not do something scandalous, lol..although I understand it can be interesting, lol.I like my 38,505 fans...they are real, they are wonderfully devoted & at the end of the day, they've got my back! And trust me, they have defended me & lifted me up when I was down. And at this moment today, I have 39,043 LIKES...and I enjoy it, and I'm proud of it. I was just recently in the Off Broadway show, My Big Gay Italian Wedding. I have been an extra in a movie with Edward James Olmos & Maria Conchita Alanso. I was also cast in a movie last year called Elliot Loves, where I play Aunt Nani, which by the way, has been receiving RAVE reviews in all the film festivals in Miami, San Francisco, Pennsylvania, Italy, and this month, August 17th, debuts in the New York International Latino Festival!! And that's awesome, but it's not enough. So last week, in accordance with my desire to explore the acting bug, I decided to go to H.O.L.A. - the Hispanic Organization for Latin Actors in NYC. I met with AB Lugo, and he went over my resume and concerns with me. Such a sweetheart! He explained what the organization is all about, and it sounded very wonderful and fair to me. As I was thanking him and saying goodbye, he asked me to follow him. "Before you go...come with me." Ok. Mr. Lugo introduces me to Veronica, the director for a new play called Black Latina. Veronica smiles, we shake hands. "Judy, do you have a resume?" "Yes." (Thank God, I brought extras with me that day) "Do you have a headshot?" "Here you go." "Do you have a monologue?" Darn. 2 out of three ain't bad? "No, I'm sorry. I do not." I suddenly realize how unprofessional that sounded. Mental note to self: work on finding a great monologue FAST! "That's ok....would you be available to audition now?" Ding, ding, ding! "Yes, sure!" I fill out some paperwork and I'm handed 2 monologues to read: one entitled Anger and the other, Empowerment. She said to me, "I'll be back to get you in a few minutes." As I read them to myself, I liked them both, but I related to the Anger one better. Now allow me to explain to you that when I originally was introduced to Tirandra, there were only two people in the room. I believed I was going back to that room to those two people as an audience. I was amazed that I didn't feel nervous. I'm ALWAYS nervous when I audition & still when I perform. But it felt right - it felt good. About 15 minutes later, a girl who I didn't see before, came up to me. "They're ready for you now." They? Who's they? As we're walking down the corridor, the young woman smiles and says, "I'm such a fan. I love your music." "Oh, thank you so much." She opens this door. Not the same door I'd exited before. And BAM!!! I felt like the girl from the movie, Flashdance. The room was HUGE! The ceilings were incredibly HIGH, you could hear the echo in my footsteps. As soon as I walked in, there must have been at least EIGHT people sitting in front of a long table, all with pens in their hands and polite smiles. And as soon as I realized this was REAL, my heart began to pump...It pumped so hard, I suddenly wanted to run. And there it is. There's my little friend, nervousness...I can always count on her to be with me when I DON'T WANT HER TO BE!! I asked if I could read from Anger, and I asked how they wanted it read - I could see it read two ways - one very proper and the other like the chicas in my neighborhood (think Rosie Perez - who I ADORE). Crystal, the playwright, explained the level of frustration the character feels...and I take a deep breath and remind myself, "You can do this...you've been in these situations before. You know who you are - you show them now." I began to read. "Why??? Why...." And I was outside my body. To my absolute horror, I saw my hand shaking...shaking like a person having withdrawals from drugs!! What!? My hand NEVER shakes...holy....crap. I'm reading, but even my reading is getting worse. My stomach has so many butterflies, I think the butterflies will actually come out of my mouth. I put the paper down and tell the truth like the bad contestants on American Idol: "I'm sorry...I'm really nervous." Veronica smiles & says, "Ok. Put the paper down and can you give us some improvisation? Just tell us in your own words how you feel about being a Black Latina. (A black latina is a woman who is of hispanic descent but she also has darker skin...many of us, including myself have African and Native Indigineous blood in our heritage...a fact that many won't admit) So I take a deep breath....just tell the truth. "Okay. Well, I find it interesting that people are always telling me how beautiful my skin tone is...how gorgeous of a tan I have. But I know that the media will cast a lighter skinned woman before a darker skinned one...the African American community has the same problem. I remember a few years ago, when the census went around, it asked us what our race was...there was white, black, Native American, etc...but no hispanic. How do I choose black or white, when I am both. Why do I have to CHOOSE to LABEL myself?! Truth is I am half Puerto Rican and half Cuban. My mom who's Puerto Rican, has light skin. My father, who's Cuban, is dark - African American dark...and look. This is how I came out: a perfect marriage of both! And then when I'm in the NY area and people ask me what I am, I say Puerto Rican - because I most likely receive a positive reaction..but when I go to Miami and I'm asked the same question, I need to say Cuban first. Ugh. What does it matter? I thought I was Latina? And what makes me laugh is that I am Puerto Rican and Cuban...while my poor boyfriend, the Quiet One, is Irish and Scottish. What's gonna happen if we decide to have children?? What are they going to check off on the census? Poor things! They laughed. Then I was asked if I can dance. Can I dance? Sure!!! I did the running man, the roger rabbit...I felt at that moment, I just wanted to lift the tension of my bad reading. I walked out of there with sore feet, a massive headache and an almost 2 hour drive home. I told the Quiet One how bad it was but how great it was at the same time. I felt I was back in the game again. The Quiet One comforted me, "Darling, I'm sure you weren't as bad as you say you were! You're Judy, F$%*ng Torres!" LOL. He always makes me feel better. Well, guess what? I got a phone call. I got the part!! What?! Our first production meeting is this Tuesday!! YES!!! Funny, how life works...love it!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

TESTING 1, 2, 3

Now that I'm almost ready to get back in the swing of things, I felt it is time to begin working on my comeback! Last week I had a meeting with my manager,Gary, at his new office - a much larger space, that has presence. Gary showed me around, and as he closed the door for privacy, he said, "So, how are you mentally?" "Mentally? I'm fine. Better." I was a mental wreck, way back in February, when my doctor discovered that I had a polyp on my vocal chord that had hemorrhaged. After two failed attempts with laser treatments to remove the polyp, I became discouraged. Upon realizing that surgery was inevitable, I became panicked...and lately, well, let's say, financially challenged. But after almost 2 months of speech therapy and lots of vocal rest, I am calm and excited to get back on stage and sing in September. So, I smiled and repeated, "Better." Before we were to get down to the nitty gritty, I had something on my mind that needed to be seriously discussed. I told Gary that from now on, no matter what, I want to have a working monitor on stage for EVERY show...or I will cancel. My manager & I went back and forth as if we were at an auction. "Judy, you did not get a polyp from not having a monitor." "Gary, for 25 years I've been singing at night clubs with no monitors and I cannot hear myself. As a result, I end up singing louder..and that's how I hurt myself in the first place." "Judy, you did not get a polyp because you couldn't hear yourself." "Gary, my speech therapist wants me to be cautious & have either an ear piece or stage monitor from now on....what's wrong with that?" "Judy, I'm afraid you'll lose shows if you make that demand. In the 25 years, how many clubs provide you with sound." "Gary, not too many, but that's not the point." "Yes, it is." "No, it isn't." "Judy, I can take 2 smokers who've smoked for 20 years. One will have cancer and the other is running marathons with no problem. It's a matter of genetics. Your voice is probably more sensitive and prone to this condition. " "So doesn't it make sense that if I know I'm more "sensitive" that I would be smart enough to be more CAREFUL now?" "It doesn't have anything to do with that...it is NOT your fault this happened to you. Mick Jagger had polyps 5 times...it's what happens to singers who sing their hearts out." I admit when he said it wasn't my fault, I almost had tears in my eyes, because the first time I found out about this, I wondered if I had done this to myself....but on with the debate. "Gary, I'm the one up there. Not you. And every single thing I do to make money is with my voice...no voice...no money!" "Judy,", he smirks..."I think this is a bad call." "Gary, can you please be supportive on this. I need you to support me on this...I need you to back me up." "Judy, haven't I backed you up now?...for how long?" "6 years, Gary...and yes, you've backed me up. But I'm the one up there...not you. I'm up there alone. And I get hired by these people to sing my heart out...to entertain...and these people make money off of that. And the audience, my loyal fans, are expecting a great show...do you have any idea how hard it is to sing, and try to express the songs when I cannot hear a damned thing? Everyone tells me to be more like a diva. Everyone tells me that I'm too nice. For 25 years all I've asked for was a quiet room before the show, and a bottle of water. Now, I am going to be a diva and ask for a bottle of water, a quiet room and a freaking monitor on the stage so I can hear what the hell I'm singing!!!!!" Silence. Gary calls in his assistant. "Make sure all the contracts on Judy's show read from now on that a working stage monitor must be made available, or the purchaser will lose their deposit and Judy will walk out. Be sure everyone initials it, and understands no monitor, no show." "Thank you. Gary, thank you." Done. I have to admit, I was exhausted. Debating and/or arguing with a person to me has a fascinating element to it. I read once in a book called The Celestine Prophecy, that people are all energy. And sometimes when we are not feeling good, we need more energy. When people argue there is an exhange for energy...energy = power. And because it takes energy, it can drain you. Have you ever argued with someone so hard, and nothing came out of it, and when they leave the room, you are suddenly wiped out? That's kind of how I felt. But I felt good, because I felt my energy was still with me, I maintained my power, lol. It was tiring but I was smiling internally. I kept thinking, "Oh, so that's what it feels like to stand up for what I want!" It wasn't about winning, it was about fighting for what I need this time around...I worry too much about what people will say, think and yes, at times I've even worried about not complaining for the sake of not losing a show. I have swallowed a lot of crap. I'm not doing it anymore. A singer has the right to hear himself or herself...it's a basic need for a performer. You think Lady Gaga or Beyonce fight to be heard on stage? Nope. Damn, that felt good. I can't wait to get back on that stage WITH A MONITOR in September...Check mic, testing...1, 2, 3...Woohooooooo!!!

Monday, June 25, 2012


May 30, 2012 4:30am. Woke up, got dressed quickly - the Quiet One was driving me to the hospital for vocal chord surgery. Dr. Ivey would remove a polyp from the right side of my vocal chords. This little polyp has created big problems for me, my singing, my livelihood, AND my finances...so it had to go. We were almost at Columbia Presbyterian when I realized...Holy crap, I forgot my insurance card. We were already 20 minutes into the 30 minute drive. I waited for the Quiet One to reprimand me, to say, 'Really, Judy? Come on...' But I really should call the Quite One - the Patient One - the Noble One. His response to me was, "Do you really need to go back?" I nod yes. "Okay, let's go back." He wasn't upset in the least. The Quiet One dropped me off. He couldn't stay because he had just begun his new job and was required to work. I was happy for him with his new job, sad for me because he is my rock for everything. "Goodbye sweetheart, you're going to be fine! Finally you can put this behind you...I love you & I'll see you later." At the hospital, I filled out all the paperwork. I said a huge prayer. No, I prayed probably four times. And I even posted things on facebook via my cell phone just to keep myself occupied. I began to feel slightly nervous. When my name was called, I walked right in. I was given the prestigious hospital gown, and the nurse asked all the necessary questions. And then they put in an IV (intravenous line through the veins). I HATE them, they hurt, period. The anesthesiologist introduced herself to me, and asked if there was anything else she needed to know. "Yes, absolutely...please make sure I don't feel a thing...please bring me back to conscsiousness and know that in the past anesthesia makes me VERY nauseous. Whew. Now I feel it. Yep, there are the butterflies. Now I'm nervous. Dr. Ivey, my surgeon & laryngologist, came over to see how I was feeling. She has been an AMAZING doctor from day one! She not only has given me fantastic treatment, but she's also been honest & is the only doctor I've ever had who gave me her email address and cell number...she's awesome! "Judy, I just want you to know that in order to do the surgery, we will be putting a breathing tube in your throat, so you may be very sore afterward, but you'll be fine." I understood...that idea was a little scary, but the vocal chords move when you breathe, so I would assume they had to paralyze that so they could work. 7:15am "Judy, they're ready for you." The nurse gave me the option of being wheeled in to the operating room, or to walk. I chose to walk. It made me feel healthy; made me feel empowered, made me feel strong & independent. Hey, whatever it took to feel comfortable before the surgery. The room was BRIGHT!...almost as if I was walking into the light. The room was also slightly cold and all the equipment was incredibly high tech. The surgery was set for 7:30am, so I knew it would be any minute now. The anesthesiologist said, "Okay, Judy, I'm going to give you a sedative to relax you...and then shortly after that, I will put in the medicine so you can sleep..." I looked around and saw about 4 people in the room. Dr. Ivey was in her operating apparel, and she asked, "Anything you want to say before we start? Any questions?" I looked at these strangers whom I was trusting with my life...I had this sensation that this problem was finally being corrected & I suddenly felt terrified AND grateful. So I said the two words that mattered the most, "Thank you!" And I noticed Dr. Ivey was holding my hand and smiling. Wow. What doctor does that? Her holding my hand helped so much. So I breathed in deeply and with absolute trust, I closed my eyes.... Time? What time is it? I woke up with an expected sore throat. I was in a recovery room. It was quiet. Anesthesia is incredible!! It rids your body of a sense of time, place & feeling. I don't recall if I woke up on my own, or if someone woke me...but I have a feeling it was the latter. I didn't mind the sore throat at all - I expected that, but it was the nausea. I HATE being nauseous. I'd rather be in pain than be nauseous. A nurse approached me, she took my vitals and asked how I was feeling. Since I was not allowed to speak, thanks to my iPhone, I texted my sentences into the Notes app, and this would be my form of communication for almost a week. When she read my response, she got the doctor who immediately gave me anti-nausea meds. Thank God. I felt tire, but not as bad as I thought I'd feel. Another nurse came over and once she heard someone tell her my name, she immediately recognized me. She didn't tell me, but I could tell by her body language: the eyes suddenly gush open & there's an excitement in their arms, lol. She was as kind as could be. And she read my lips pretty well. She was kind enough to call my friend, Brenda, who was scheduled to pick me up. She wheeled me downstairs and told me it was a pleasure to "talk" to me. And I was in Brenda's car & on my way home. 11:00am... Brenda wanted to walk me upstairs. "No, I'm fine, Chica." (Chica, to me, is what I call my closest friends). I turned the key, and was thankful the bathroom is so close to the entrance. And I ran to the sink & threw up. Darn. I hate hate hate hate hate throwing up! I took off my clothes & changed into my favorite t-shirt & sweats, and took a nap. When I woke up, I heated up soup...and then I learned quickly, that I really couldn't chew a damned thing. Oh, no...I couldn't tell what it was. When I walked over to the bathroom again. In the mirror I made a discovery: I stuck out my tongue and was horrified to see it point to the right!!! It was so swollen & puffy, but it curved so badly to the right. Dr. Ivey didn't mention that!!! So, as I ate the soup, i could chew, but I couldn't swallow...ugh, sucks! And what was even worse than that was the fact that for the next two weeks - everything I ate tasted sour! The first few chews of any food tasted genuine...and just before I would swallow, it would taste SO bitter, so acrid. When I emailed the doctor, she said, sometimes the tongue is compressed so much, the nerves atrophy and lots of things happen - change of taste can be one of the side effects. Well perhaps this side effect will be effective in being some kind of weight loss aid. Now is the hard part - the recovery - the silence for a week - the feeling of isolation from socializing...but it's done. Thank you, God, I'm alive. The polyp was removed - And one week later, this is what I saw: Vocal chords slightly swollen but NO POLYP! First photo is before. You can see the red bump that's made my life miserable. The photo underneath is one week after surgery! Hooray!

Thursday, June 14, 2012


I wanted to leave the details of Day 2, May 1st, at the Cayman Islands last, because I do believe it was my FAVORITE day. Although each & every day had something unique & special to talk about, Day 2 was my most memorable.

This is what was listed on our itinerary:
Morning at Leisure
1pm-5pm FatFish Jet Ski Adventure - bring unexpensive sunglasses...wear shorts that can get wet, etc...

The Quiet One & I discussed what we were expecting. We thought it was a long time to jet ski but then again, it would be fun. We were picked up by our tour guide. His name unfortunately escapes me, so for the blog's sake, we shall call him Aqua Man! He stopped to pick up a few other couples who were joining us, and then right in the middle of the gas station was a rooster. I made the Quiet One get out & take a photo...little did I realize they are free to roam on the islands...and for me, it made it kind of cool.

When we arrived to our destinations, we were given snorkel gear. Snorkel gear? Aqua Man explained we were going to jet ski, snorkel & a few other things. Oh, okay. Quiet One & I looked at each other & smiled. Cool. There was a jet ski for each person. Now, I had only jet skied once in my life...and it was in a lake in Florida. No waves. Sweet & calm. I did love it, but my gut told me not to drive it. So I sat behind the Quiet One, trusting him with my life.

"Okay, everybody, we are going to make a right here, and when I give the signal (his arm straight up & down), we're going to open her up!" Open her up?? Open who up? What up? Why? He continued, "Now there are no laws here on speed limit & these babies can go up to 55 mph. From here we're going to Starfish Point, then Stingray City, snorkeling among the coral reefs & lunch..." My ears stopped hearing him after I heard 55 mph. Now I'm all for adventure, but not really when it comes to water, because of the lack of my swimming skills. Mental note; must take swimming lessons real soon. So, there I was, sitting behind the Quiet One & he had the widest smile I've ever seen on him. Apparently, he's an experienced jet skier & while that reassured me, it made me a bit apprehensive because, while the Quiet One is quiet, he LOVES speed! So all of us couples drove around to the right & waited for Aqua Man to arrive and give us the cue. I was calm. Happy. And the Quiet One turned to me & asked, "You ready, baby?" "Yep." Aqua man came around the bend, standing on the jet ski like some daredevil...then he gave the signal. Holy @$#!!!

...And they're off. I was happy, smiling. Everyone once in a while I screamed like a girl & I yelped here & there too. And once the jet ski reaches a certain speed, it begins to jump. Simultaneously, I liked it and I didn't...but I'm on it now, no turning back. Some boat came by...and all I know is SPLAT...I was in the water. It happened all so fast, I don't recall even being in the air. I know I flew, but the time between the jet ski and the water was immediate. I was in the water. Don't know how deep. I just noticed how immediately quiet it is down there. I opened my eyes. Don't know why. And to my left, I saw the color red. it was almost like a smoke of red. I was impressed how clear it was underwater - I had no goggles on. But I could see so clearly. This was the conversation I had with myself:

Self: "Are you alright?"
Me: "Um, what? Am I really in the water?"
Self: "Yes. Now, don't panic. Remember all those tv shows you watched? You already know that panicking will not work. All people who panic, drown or die...so don't panic."
Me: "Okay. I won't panic. I'll wait. Eventually someone will find me...but, Oh, my God, I'm still under water...shouldn't I be up right now?"
Self: "Shhh, relax..."
Me: "Shut up!!! Oh, my God, why aren't I at the top? Where is the top???"

And I slowly felt the sheer panic rise within me...and just before I lost all sense of sensiblities, I got sucked to the top as if God were vacuuming. And then I could have laughed at myself. Duh...I forgot I had a life jacket on. And there I was floating - all alone. I was relexed now...as long as I could breathe, I was okay, even though no one was in sight. And then, like a knight on a white horse, the Quiet one rode the water to me.

"Hon, you ok? All I know is I felt you holding me, and then you weren't. I'm sorry. You ok?"
All I oculd do was nod, before I realized I was just a tad traumatized...feeling helpless was not fun at all. And while some may argue, 'Judy, you had a life jacket - nothing to have worried about...', the truth is I completely forgot about it, so while I was under the water, it was pretty freaking scary. Just me, the water, the silence & God. Didn't here Him but I sure hoped He was with me.

Aqua Man was practically right behind him. Reality hit. And just like that, I felt launched back into my high school days. I became "fat girl" again. I felt out of place, compared to the rest of our group. And the proof was that the other couples wer at least a 1/2 mile away from us. I could tell that the Quiet One wanted to go faster...when I previously told him, if he wanted to go faster, he could. His response to me was 'No, mami, we're together, we stay together.' And instead of being joyful with his response, for the first time I wondered if I held him back...back from having fun, back from going faster. Ugh - I hate when I'm so hard on myself.

Aqua Man asked, "You alright? No worries, it happens all the time. Now you gotta get back on the jet ski." I recalled the time I'd gone to the Bahamas & there was a small crowd that had gathered near the water - they were laughing at a girl, who was jet skiing alone, who'd fallen off & struggled for quite some time to get back on. I recall feeling very sorry for her, and while some laughed, I wondered why no one dove in to help. Well, now I was that girl, except I had help from not one, but two strong men. "Okay, Judy, with one hand you're gonna place it in the middle & push it down. With your weight you're going to bring your knee up onto the platform & then push your other knee." Sounds easy. NOT! First of all, may I just say I carry some cushioning with me, and as a woman I don't have much upper body strength.

I gave it my all. I would not be Fat Girl anymore. First time, nothing...Second time, good effort but no results. Third time, I managed to somehow get my left let up onto the jet ski, fully extended as if I was doing a split. Impressive, yes, but the Quiet One laughed a little and said, "How in the world are you going to get your other leg up?" I laughed too...it was a funny sight. Thank God, I'm not on that reality show yet, you would have all been cracking up. But after the fourth time, I was tired...and don't know how but I suddenly realized both of my knees were bleeding. Was that the "red" I saw in the water?? I didn't want to give up. I was keeping the rest of the group waiting for me. But I was TIRED now. And just as I began to shake my head in defeat, the Quiet One turned backwards on the jet ski, and asserted to me like a drill sergeant: "Judy, look at me. Right here. You WILL do this. You CAN do this, understand?" He held his hands out to me. "Grab my hands." I took hold of his strong hands & began to pull me up - he should have fallen off, but he didn't. And next thing I know Aqua Man had a hand on my butt. Hey, whatever you have to do to get my ass back on this thing, is fine with me. Victory. I'm back on. I was still traumatized, but relieved, but I also felt like, "Mommy? I need my mommy...I just want to go home." But I didn't want to ruin anything, and I told myself to suck it up & be a woman....a braver one, anyway.

We were off again...I decided to stay in the moment & not think about the fear that lingered that I might fall off again. So I looked around. Wow. Nothing but ocean. There was no land to be seen. Don't even know where we were & I wondered how these tour guides know the ocean by heart like that. But it was pretty...and I realized I may never do this again. And I held on to my Quiet One, who checked with me periodically to see if I was alright. We stopped at Starfish Point. The water was shallow *thank you, Lord!). We finally walked in the water, and Aqua Man immediately began to show us gorgeous, huge coral-colored starfish. He explained that they cannot be out of the water, but for a few seconds. He said hold it & put it back in the water so they don't die. We took pictures of them, with them...it was very cool. In the water, starfish feel soft. Out of the water, their outer skin hardens...I was intrigued.

We were back on the jet skis - this time it wasn't difficult to mount them because we were in shallow water. After a few minutes, we stopped in another area. Aqua Man told us to shut off the engines, while he tied each of them together. He pulled out a bag of something - ooh, it was squid. Why does he have squid? "Welcome to Stingray City, everyone!" Hm, initially I thought to myself I had no desire to see stingray. What for? "The rays will come right up to you." And then one, two three rays swooped by my legs. They were so soft, graceful actually. "Do not worry...they are docile & pretty friendly AND they want to be fed. Anyone want to feed them?" Ooh, ooh me - pick me, I thought. I became an instant fan of stingrays. I raised my hand.

"Okay, you're going to make a fist, thumbside up, but keep your thumb inside the rest of your fingers so it is not exposed. Hold the squid gently & they will come get it once they smell it." I was so excited. I LOVE animals...I love feeling a connection with them. I wanted this moment so bad, because I knew that I was blessed to even be in this position. Many people will go their entire lives without a chance like this...and when I'm an old lady, I want lots of cool stories to tell the kiddies, lol. So as grossed out as I was to have to hold a squid, I took it gladly in exchange to feed one. And there it was approaching, quietly, slowly, almost like it was flying. I was as giddy as a child on Christmas. And then it happened.

I had no idea that instead of "biting" they suction their food. It happened so fast it felt like a vacuum. And with my complete surprise, I opened my fist...too early apparently and my right index finger was sucked up with the squid. Now. You tell me. We feed dogs, birds, cats, etc...and they clearly use their mouth & bite onto the food - they don't SUCK it into their mouths. If your finger got sucked into something, isn't it second nature to instantly pull it out?? And that is exactly what I did. I withdrew my finger so quickly, I felt an instant...a sudden...oh, I don't know I never felt it before. All I know is that I looked at my finger as I felt a bit of pain. And it was bleeding. There were 3 distinct slices on my finger & the middle one was a bit deep. When I later googled "stingray teeth", I saw that they are not really teeth but they look like tiny accordian things. Wow...LOL....I can't believe it. Cool!!! Cool!! "Look, sweetheart! Look what the stingray did to me. It bit me." And then I hear Aqua Man add to his speech, "Okay guys, the stingray eat with suction - so if your hand gets sucked into the mouth just wait, don't pull it out." Okay. Now I know. Sure. But I was so excited to have "battle scars" from a stingray, I didn't give a darn. I felt like it was a kiss - a momento...and although the Quiet One laughed at my sillyness & goofy reaction, no one could steal my joy. Oh, I forgot to add that one of the girls in the group, was not very sociable. She was very pretty, perfect body, and she drove the jet ski like she'd been driving it since the day she was born. I wasn't hating, but I did feel like "Is ANYTHING wrong with thic chick?" And then I heard screaming, the type you hear in a horror movie. The girl was FREAKED out by the stingrays...and well, I am sorry, I couldn't help but smile internally - she's not that perfect. Was I a mean girl to think that?

We got back onto the jet skis & Aqua Man took us to another location where we were to snorkel. Wow. What a day! Snorkeling too? I had snorkeled before so I was calm about it. And in an instant, the dark, bulky, black & gray clouds leered over us. It was the only time while on the island I witnessed them. But they were there, stalking our little snorkel adventure. We got our fins and equipment on and Boom! It began to pour! It was an avalanche of rain. The rain was pounding us so hard, it literally hurt. And the waves began to shake & dance in fear...and before I could catch my breath from the sudden change of weather, I had already swallowed water. The waves hit me. "Judy, just put your head in the water, it's calmer there," the Quiet One called out to me. I had no choice. I put my head in the water, and I swore I heard the soundtrack from the Little Mermaid. "Under the Sea...under the Sea..." The sight was impressive! So many beautiful fish...gorgeous hues of yellows, violets, turquoises...and the coral was increidbile. Aqua Man dived deep down & pointed to a small cave...and as we looked closer, we realized it was a Lion Fish...the fish are beautiful...but if you touch the tips of their fins, they are very poisonous...When I finally brought my head back up the storm had passed.

We walked onto Rum Point, where we had lunch. The menus were attached to coconuts & I finally indulged in a MudSlide. I felt I deserved it. We spoke with Aqua Man, who was only 26, but he knew the island better than anyone. After an hour or so, Aqua Man instructed us to get back on the jet skis. I asked him, "So, where to now?" He replied, "We go back to where we started." "How long will that take?" "About 20 minutes." I could have cried, but I put on my warrior of water face & said, "Let's do this." The Quiet One promised me I would be okay....and he actually drove faster this time. I told myself to surrender to it. If I was going to fall off, so be it. And as we jumped through the water, I heard the Quiet One yell, "Yea baby!!!" He was enjoying himself, something I don't always see him do...and I was satisfied. When we returned to the hotel, I was genuinely tired and I was genuinely fulfilled. Now, THAT is what I call an adventure. If I were to recommend anything to you regarding the Cayman Islands, I would definitely tell you to make this part of your activities while you are here. So well worth it. And if I had to go home that day, alhtough only my second day, I would have returned with a satisfied smile on my face!

Day 7, Sunday, May 6th

And speaking of returning home, it was time to go back to reality. We were packed very early the next morning. And we dined for the last time at our little Eats Cafe. The Quiet One & I joked about how much weight we'd probably gained...we felt it was worth it...at least until we once again stepped onto a scale. We were picked up by our driver, Carole, who I tipped & thanked & hugged. She told us if we ever returned to look her up...and I will! At the airport, I HAD to buy some sort of jewelry to mark this trip. Each time I take a trip, I always buy myself something unique to remember it by. I found a silver necklace, with a stingray charm made of a stone only found in the Dominican Republic...Oh, yes, and I stopped by the Tortuga store to purchase rum cakes for all my friends & family.

We landed at JFK just 3 hours later. We went through customs, picked up the car & drove back home. Although I was sad to leave, I was glad to be home too. As I unpacked I heard something fall...it made a clanking sound...and it slipped under my bed. When I picked it up there it was. As silver & pretty as could be - it was that silver spoon I wanted to take home, but was refused by the waitress at Eats Cafe. Ha, ha, ha, ha!! Where did this come from? I looked at the Quiet One. He had a smug-I-have-no-idea look on his face. I know he did it. And while I don't condone stealing - I thought it was romantic that my boyfriend found a way to make sure I had my silly spoon. And no every morning when I have my cafe con leche, I use that spoon & every morning I am reminded of the perfect trip I took...the spring of 2012 at the Cayman Islands....ah, yes, life is good!!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


I want to tell you about Tuesday, Day 2, but as they say, leave the best for last...so I'll tell you later. Day 3, Wednesday, May 2nd: It proved to be a great time. We were picked up by our tour guide & went on the Cayman Safari. It was cool to be driven around the entire island in a Jeep! Our first stop was the Botanic Park, where we walked the gardens. There I saw the most BEAUTIFUL Birds of Paradise - they were HUGE & so incredibly vivid in colors I didn't even think existed! Our tour guide, Shirley, had phenomenal knowledge of all the plant life, flowers & living animals...and then we enountered the Blue Iguana - indigineous to the Cayman Islands & also an endangered animal. Then it was on to lunch, where a Caymanian 70 year old woman cooked a homemade lunch for us. I lounged on a hammock & tasted a pepper so spicy that everyone laughed at my reaction...truth be told, I could taste the heat from that pepper for almost an hour!! In the evening, we dined at Calypso Grill, where the Quiet One & I had a sweet & romantic time. And for my entree, I ordered Shrimp and Lobster Champagne - Oh, yeah baby!! It tasted even better than it sounds! Actually, I cleaned the entire plate...nope, I am not ashamed!! And for dessert? Aha! Yes, I had Sticky Toffee pudding AGAIN! Dinner was soo good, we wobbled out of there - with no regrets! Day 4, Thursday, May 3rd: First thing in the morning, we prepared for the airport, where a flight had been booked for us to go to Little Cayman, famous for its deep-sea diving & remote beaches. It was about a 40 minute flight in one of those small planes with little propellers on the sides...a bit intimidating for me, but a gorgeous panoramic view! When we landed we were driven to the Southern Cross Club. It is a resort consisting of only 12 ocean view bungalows, including private outdoor showers!! LOL..I'd never seen that before, but it was cool to imagine showering & looking at the beach at the same time. We were introduced to Mike, who gave us snorkeling equipment - who also casually mentioned that we may encounter sharks while we were out there. Que que?? Huh? Our itinerary had read that we were going snorkeling "unaccompanied." Hm, don't know what that means. Well, it means EXACTLY what it said, lol. We were driven to a separate remote beach...and dropped off, being told "...be back to pick you up by noon!" Immediately we could tell this beach was so different - it was SO not commercialized - it felt like a "wild" beach. It was a HOT day for sure. As we walked into the water and looked around, we realized it. We. Were. Alone. No one in sight, except for a diving boat that had just begun to set sail again. When in life can you say you could be alone on a beach with the one you love??? Probably - never. The Quiet One & I decided to begin snorkeling. We were told that about 100-200 yards out there was a buoy & once we reached that mark, there would be a huge drop & from there we would witness the BEST coral reefs & marine life. We couldn't wait. There was so much Coral around...just beautiful. The Quiet One pointed here & there to show me fish and he even picked up a couple of conchs (the BIG sea-shells with the snaily things inside). We got about half way & I noticed the current was a bit stronger compared to Grand Cayman...and I'm not the best swimmer...and I only had a floatee. I know how to doggie-paddle, float & otherwise keep myself straight up in the water...but swim to save my life? Nah. So may fish, coral...colors..it truly was the best I'd ever seen & I've snorkeled a lot. And then...The Quiet One was poking my arm with enthusiasm. What? What? And then I saw it...a barracuda! I remember our tour guide had told us that if she had a choice to swim with a shark or barracuda, she would pick the shark every time. How did we sense this was a differnt type of fish? Every single fish we saw didn't care that we were there. They just swam about their business being fish. But the barracuda saw us...and never took its eyes off of us. In fact, it got a little closer..and is it got closer so did its teeth...ugly fish, that barracuda. Well, that was all I needed. To me I took it as a sign. And although he didn't say it, I believe the Quiet One felt that way too. I'm all for adventure, but I want to be safe. There was no one around & if anything had happened to him, who, how, where do I go to get help?? So the Quiet One & I sat on the beach & made out, er um, I mean, kissed like bandits..and we also forgot to reapply our sunblock. When we returned to Southern Cross Club, we toured the Honeymoon Bungalow (hint hint, lol), swam in the pool, went kyaking & ended the day on hammocks...and then we realized we were sunburnt. In the evening, it was off to dinner at Blue Cilantro. Talk about fancy. For the record, I call fancy things "shi (shee) Shi - Foo Foo. Thank God, we dressed up...it actually felt sensual to be in a dress & heels! This place was seriously shi-shi foo-foo. GORGEOUS! The ambience was inviting, hues & hints of blue all around. (Truth be told, I wanted to steal the plates, lol.) The menu was so exotic - I KNOW we had question marks on our faces..but fake it 'til you make it, right? The manager welcomed us. And the fine dining began...we were served something on these large, white ceramic spoons...on it were these orange circle thingies. The Quiet One looked at me like the kid in the old Life commercial "I'm not gonna try it...you try it. Hey, let Mikey try..." So, I felt it was impolite not to at least taste it. I lifted it & counted to three. The second it hit my upper palate (roof of my mouth), it burst. LOL..It was a surprise..and it was good. The Quiet One followed suit & he had the same expression I did. We laughed & I have to say the food was EXCELLENT! Before we left, we were greeted by Chef Shetty, who's been a chef for 28 years & has worked at the most prestigious restaurants, including the ones in NYC! He was a wonderful & delightful man, whose passion is obviously cooking. The night was so perfect, we walked back to our hotel. It was then I asked the Quiet One: "Hey, babe...aren't you tired?" I slept GREAT every single night at the Westin. Day 5, Friday, May 4th: The Quiet One & I had breakfast at our favorite little spot we discovered called "Eats Cafe." It had a 50's diner feel to it, and each morning the food was so tasty! There was a spoon there...silly, I know, but I was in love with this spoon. I didn't want to steal, so I asked the waitress if I could have it as a momento. The Quiet One told me not to ask: "She's gonna say no, Judy. How much you wanna bet?" I told him, "If I ask, she'll say yes...at least I'm being honest." The waitress' answer? No, I am sorry. AWWW I HATE losing bets! Darn. I love that spoon - it had a cute little design on it, and ironically at home I have a tablespoon with the same design. I just wanted to have the teaspoon. Okay, that's trivial stuff... We went to the Turtle Farm where we learned all about turtles: we learned how they mate, how they lay eggs. We learned that the sex of the turtle is determined by the temperature of the room, not genetics. If it's hot, it's a girl...if it's cold, it's a male...go figure! I held a turtle for the first time...and even met the oldest, meanest turtle there named Lucifer. Need I say more? There was an alligator there appropriately named Smiley. It is a wonderful place & you can even snorkel with turtles there too. They had an aviary, where I saw parrots, and I even held one that pooped the second it got on my hand. Good luck, yes? I saw ibis & more. We ate lunch at the Cracked Conch & drank the best frozen drinks! And then it was off to the Glass Bottom Boat Tour - it's perfect for anyone who wants to see the fish & coral in the water but doesn't want to actually go in the water. Our tour guide was funny, entertaining & he had an Australian accent. I admit - when we returned, I was truly wiped out. I met Ruth Myles of the Cayman Islands Department of Tourism, and discovered she was a fan. She truly spoiled us & gave us a wonderful gift....Little does she know she gave me a gift of memories that will last me a lifetime. I couldn't help but cry as I was overhwlemed with gratitude, when I thanked her. Before retiring to bed, The Quiet One & I walked around the hotel and discovered a couple having their wedding rehearsal dinner right on the beach! They were even having a bon fire...very sweet & fun. We watched from afar, but it made me wonder if we'll get married. When we got back to the room, we went onto the balcony - it was a full moon & I couldn't help but feel, I was there with the right man. The Quiet One has been a blessing to me: wise, romantic, affectionate, considerate, non-dramatic, loving & faithful. Day 6, Saturday, May 5th: Most of our day was free...so we went onto the beach one more time & saw schools of fish, and families; parents teaching their children how to swim...it was all so sweet. Made me wonder if I've missed out on the "having children" thing...I guess I may never know. What is meant to be, shall be, I guess. The afternoon we went to the Cayman Carnival - Batabano!! It is their annual parade that includes stilt walkers, limbo dancers, masqueraders, floats, costumes. What I loved most was the music. The Caribbean, Cayman music was so lively, so festive, so...sooo...happy!! I loved every second of it! There were soca bands, singers...and lots & lots of food! You can drink coconut milk right out of the coconut, plantains, rice & beans...and even for the exotic & adventurous - a Cayman specialty - turtle! How could I eat turtle when I held one just the day before. I will never know what it tastes like...but I understand it's pretty good. Whew, I need a vacation from the vacation! www.caymanislands.ky

Monday, June 11, 2012


There's been so much going on in my life, I never got the chance to tell you about our trip to Cayman Islands...Here's a little run down! So, we're back from the GLORIOUS Cayman Islands!! The BEST trip of my life - and I've had some pretty good ones! I've got a deep tan that the cast of Jersey Shore would be absolutely jealous of!! I've got memories to last me a lifetime, I met the kindest people, saw the sweetesst sunsets, the most flavorful cuisine & I really felt like I experienced a true adventure! Now, I've been to the Bahamas before, about 4 times, and I did truly enjoy it. But after being at the Cayman Islands - with the clearest, calmest, bluest waters yoyu will ever see - I can honestly say that I willl definitely be coming back!! Let me give you a rundown if I can... Monday, April 30th: Woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 3:30am! The Quiet One and I drove to JFK where we checked in with Cayman Airways. Check in was swift. I felt like I could press the Staples button that says, "that was easy." Checked our bags in, made our way to the gate and boarded the plane. We were excited like children the morning of Christmas. It was only the second time that the Quiet One had been on a plane, so needless to say, hew was experirencing some mild anxiety. But we were up in the air, and I was served a meal & tried rum punch for the first time. Oh, yea, baby...now we're rolling! We landed just 3 hours later, non-stop, and were immediately picked up by Carole, our driver, who took us to the Westin Casaurina Resort. Instantly I realized we really were out of the country. It was 87 degrees! Thank you! I was feeling a little dyslexic: The steering wheels were on the right, and all the cars were driving on the left of the roads. Their yield signs read "Give Way"...We arrived at the hotel and just took it all in. It was so beautiful - the palm trees, the colors, the blue water...it really was paradise, just like you see on tv. When we reached our room, we were given a welcome package along with our itinerary. I felt like a true star! I read it and showed the Quiet One and we instantly realized how MUCH there is to do here! 5:45pm: We boarded the Spirit of Calypso! It was my first time on a catamaran. It was a Sunset Sail. We sailed the ocean with other couples. There was music, cool breeze, and the open Caribbean Sea. I spoke with a couple who had been to Cayman Islands 13 times! Yep, it's that good! The Quiet One & I sat together holding hands. And he looked at me and said, "We're here, sweetheart! Welcome to the Cayman Islands!" The Captain dropped us off on another part of the island where we did some fine dining at Hemingway's. And there it was the first time I tried conch fritters and for dessert, sticky toffee pudding! Oh! Oh! Yes! Yes! I found a new dessert that I fell in love with! It was so good, I moaned with every bite, lol...it's silly, but true! I didn't think mosquitoes lived in Cayman Island, but I was awarded 18 bites to be reminded. (yes, the mosquitoes have ALWAYS loved my blood) So if you do go there, please remember your repellent. Apparently mosquitoes aren't around all year round - only when I was there, lol. We were off to bed early - we were a bit tired and had a BIG day for Tuesday! Goodnight, Buenas noches, bon nuit, buona note!