"AH, THE QUIET ONE SPEAKS"

If you read my most recent blog, you will know that I had my first date in almost 7 months! I have named the man I met at Euro Lounge, The Quiet One. He simply had a quiet nature to him, and sometimes because of all the "noise" in my life, that is what I can be drawn to.

I never get my hopes too high because in my past, I have been stood up MANY times...so I now always have plan B in case the date falls apart. The plan was to go to the movies if he canceled. So we had textedback and forth and had a couple of conversations and then one day, I received a text: "...I liked that you had a good time & that i was a part of your blog. Pretty cool!"

Oh,
my
God!
(GULP!)

He read my blog???? Damn. I had no idea - not too many men even follow my blog, lol. I don't think I told him about it. Either way, that meant that he knew about my panic attack when I thought he was leaving without asking for my number. Quiet One told me he didn't ask because he assumed that everyone asks for my number. Remember the show Odd Couple? Oscar told Felix in one episode, "Never assume anything - because when you assume. You make an ass=(out of) u + me!" I never forgot that line...never. It struck me for a second that perhaps that's why no one asks me for my number. Do other men think that about me too? Hm, wonder.

Saturday had arrived & I was performing in my current hometown, Jersey City for the Everything Jersey City Festival...it was going to be a long day because I sang with Mirage for a wedding the day before until 1am. I knew I would be tired and was a little concerned about the beating my voice would be taking, but the show must go on. So I woke up Saturday, went to Zumba class. Did I mention I'm obsessively addicted to it? I am. Love it! Okay, so I went to zumba. Got home, had a cup of coffee and a croissant. Took a shower. Went to the festival. I went on about a quarter after 5=Latino time - which meant I was scheduled to go on at 5pm sharp. I had a lot of support at the show. My best friend, Brenda, filled in as a road manager because my road manager, David, was away on military leave. Three of my zumba classmates showed up, Vickie Deleo & Leslie Guttenplan - regulars on my facebook page and MAJOR supporters of my career were there too. I knew it was Leslie's birthday the next day, so as a gift I gave her my one & only pair of designer sunglasses (Versace, sigh)...I wanted to give her something meaningful, and believe me...they were the only designer anything I owned - so they meant a lot.

On stage, I was very happy! I am mostly happy onstage. I cannot describe this well, but since I talk so much, I am going to try. Looking out into the crowd, I know there are people in the audience who cannot afford to go see a show, so something like this means a lot to them. And I can almost tell which people they are. And then I see the children's eyes...so full of wonderment..as if I'm a magical creature...and I always see it as an opportunity to remind them to go after their dreams. And then there are the smiles. Scattered smiles in the crowd: some of them are just enjoying the show, some smiles are proud smiles and then there are the ones I cannot interpret, but I feel like I'm receiving hundreds of silent blessings at once.

After the show, there were so many people wanting to take pictures and get autographs. There wasn't any order at all, lol. So I made an announcement: "Okay, this is the deal. I will take pictures with EVERYONE. I will not leave until the last person is done. So please be patient and don't trample each other, ok? Children first." And that was it...a VERY mature crowd...I really was proud to see that in my own neighborhood. I took pics, signed autographs, talked to people...I was there for about another hour.

And then I flew home to get ready for my date with the Quiet One. He was actually at the show, but I didn't see him...and I knew it was his first time seeing me perform (another plus because he had no pre-conceived notion about me). For the first time, I didn't invite "the new guy" in my life to come with me to a show. I think I let them in far too early. Then I end up feeling used in some way or another that I exposed the most sacred part of my life to someone not deserving of it. Oddly enough, I think he's the one I should have invited, lol. We had agreed to meet at a certain time...and then while I was in the shower...Oh, shoot! I forgot to give hime the address. LOL...he can't pick me up if he doesn't know where he's going.

When the Quiet One picked me up, he was standing outside his car. It was then I realized that, wow, people do look different in day light. I met him in a dark lounge. I want to be clear about this. He is still handsome in daylight and in the nighttime, lol...I just didn't realize the crystal blue eyes! Nice! By the way, I'll get this out of the way now. Yes, I'm older than him...but NO NO NO...I am not a cougar. LOL. Promise. (He's not in his 20s - let's put it that way.) As we were on our way to go eat, he made a wrong turn and in trying to get back on the highway, he accidentally pulled into the parking lot of the Red Roof Inn. Uh, ahem. LOL. We both laughed about that NOT being the place for our first date, and we were off.

The weekend had been so crazy it was nice to sit and relax. Our conversation flowed very well, and he let me order whatever I wanted at my leisure. I ordered not one, but two margaritas. I REALLY wanted to have a drink. But I stopped after two. On a firet date, NEVER get drunk. When dinner was done, we decided to go for a ride...and then we went for a walk. He is a good listener - I appreciated that about him. And he was just so genuinely sweet. We both discussed what we are looking for. I told him I have no desire for a fling. I am looking for "the one." I'm 42...living on my own since I was 19...it's time. He claimed that he's looking for a relationship - no flings. Good because fling ain't my thing.

He was wonderfully adorable, sweet, polite...and seemed not to be holding anything back. As we walked by the water, we found a bench and sat down to talk some more. It was great. Weather was perfect. Good company. Good conversation. And I noticed it. Quiet one is apparently a shy one too, lol. I observed that he had a bit of a hard time with eye contact. Normally I would conclude that he was a dishonest man. The eyes are the window to the soul...so if you can't look at me, what is it you don't want me to see? But I could tell he was just shy. He apologized and we continued to talk.

A VERY intoxicated woman walked by - very angry with a man. She had a favorite word: f#$k! In fact she made the word her own...very colorful indeed and full of LOTS of emotion. Finally, it became so funny to me, that I told him I'd give him a quarter for every time she used the word. I believe we got to $3.75 in under a minute. What was my favorite moment of the night? I asked if I could put my head on his shoulder. And he said yes, and then his arm found the courage to enfold around me. It was very nice. I felt comforted. I think I needed it...don't know why. He has a wonderful shoulder!! Strong shoulders are often overlooked.

As we arrived at the doorstep to my house, I thanked him and he asked if we would go out again. Of course. yes. And then it happened.

He

Hugged

Me

Goodnight.

Que??? What?

I was speechless. Every first date I had ever gone on in my lifetime always ended either with a tap kiss, a make out or me declining a kiss. But I cannot say with confidence I had been hugged good bye. I felt mildly tortured. LOL. In fact I had never left a date not knowing where I stood. So I called. Shouldn't have. But I did.

"Um, I'm a little confused. Did you not want to kiss me?"

(You see,people? even I have my insecure moments.)

"Yes, of course," he replied. "I respect you. I wanted to show that I respect you. Don't think I didn't want to."
"Oh, okay," We said goodnight...and I thought about it.

Initially I felt slightly rejected, but in the end I felt extremely respected. And I thought to myself, he's a gentleman. Good. Thank you, God, for placing a kind man in my path. So, I went to sleep and finally bhe non-dating spell had been broken!! Woohooo!! ...to be continued.

MY SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER!!!

It was Saturday, May 14th. Finally. A night off - first one in months. You see, I usually have club gigs and concerts on Saturdays, and when I don't, I sing with the band, Mirage. So I had a couple of invitations: one to see France Joli at Eve Ultra Lounge in S.I., and the other to see George Lamond perform at Euro Lounge, in North Arlington, NJ. France is one of my favorite singers! To this day, whenever I hear "Heart to Break the Heart," I still can't hold the note as long as she can, lol. She and I became friends when we had a show together & she found out I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis - her sister was diagnosed with it too. I wanted to see her, but since the friends I was supposed to go with never called me, I decided to keep it local.

Frankie Vasquez, Euro Lounge's deejay, invited me & promised me tapas (Spanish hors d'oeuvres)...how could I decline? When I got there, I sat and enjoyed my tapas, chatted with Frankie, and the proceeded to the bathroom. The bathroom is always such a fascinating place to me. I know it sounds so wrong on so many levels, but either I find answers to my questions in life while I'm there, or I find inspiration for writing a new song...or I hear things that I wouldn't think of ever hearing. For example, I've gone to clubs to sing and have had to use the bathroom, and after all I am human. I'd be in the stall with the door closed and hearng things like, "Oh, my God, I can't wait to see Judy Torres perform!" or "What the heck was she wearing?" - it's a cool place to be indeed.

This particular night, I was in the stall, and heard the following comments:

"Oh, my God...look at this hair! Ugh!"
"God, I wish I wore I different bra...look at this!"
"Well, I'll have to wear a jacket over this, look at this flab."

I couldn't take it anymore. I bursted out of the stall. Okay, I opened the door, but I wanted to bust out. And I told the women, "This is crazy foolishness. I have heard nothing in the last five minutes but women dogging themselves, putting themselves down. Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? I bet you the men are not standing at the urinals saying to one another, "Oh, my God...look at my t-shirt. It doesn't even match my eyes. And ugh, these love handles!" Did we not put in the extra effort to make ourselves look our best? Are we not here to have a good time?" The women laughed, and we began to exchange stories about weight loss surgeries, and make up. Before you know it, a few women were around me as I showed them the secret to getting the perfect smokey natural eye, lol. And you know what? I was having a ball in that bathroom. Why? I needed the girl banter, and it was because no one knew it was me...I KNEW that we were just a whole bunch of girls having fun. And then a woman walked in.

"Oh!!! Oh, my God."
I'm thinking, 'Nooo...noooo don't say it.'
"It's Judy Torres! I love love you!"
My cover was blown. LOL.

I am thrilled by her reaction. Please don't get me wrong. It always feels wonderful to be recognized (as long as I'm not in yesterday's hairstyle, throwing out the garbage) - but that night, I just wanted to be Judy. Either way, she was a cool person, and invited me to hang out with her friends. I thought it was actually a nice idea. She bought me a drink. I told her not to - they'd give it to me for free, lol, but she insisted. As I drank my raspberry cosmpolitan, we were introduced and began to chat. The music was GREAT, and when music is great, I cannot stay in my seat. So we got up to dance, and I secretly prayed my straight hair would not betray me and go curly. I had to take a moment and sit because I knew my hair was beginning it's Chaka Khan transformation, like the Incredible Hulk when he is angry. So as I sat down, I looked around & see this woman's tag from her dress just screaming for attention. I believe as women we must look out for one another. If there is toilet tissue on the bottom of the shoe; if the zipper is open, if the tag is hanging outside when it should be inside...tell her!! That goes for men too, actually. so I walked over to her, and whispered in her ear. "Don't worry. Just fixing the tag." She thanked me and I walked away. Shortly after, I noticed one of the gentlemen who was with my new-found bathroom friend, was dancing while sitting in his chair. "Why are you dancing sitting down?" He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. I got up, took his hand. "Come on, let's dance."

The music was great, and I really didn't want to sit down. I was gratefull for the shoes I'd chosen to wear. They were kind to my feet, and my feet were eternally grateful. I was able to dance...and dance...and dance. As he and I were dancing...oh, I forgot I've got to give him a name, huh? I'll call him the Quiet One for now. I began to wonder if the Quiet One was dancing with me because he was just indulging my request, or if it was that he was really enjoying himself. I asked him a few questions here and there, and went to get another drink. We sat down. A man walked up to me and handed me a rose. "Judy, this is to thank you for your music." Awww...that was so sweet. Just then the women at the table said, "That is so cool...don't you love that?" I responded, "Yes, it's pretty awesome, but it's been a long time since I've gotten a rose just because." I know everyone thinks I have men in line for me, but that is so the antithesis of the truth. Antithesis...such a great word! Ooh, I'm mildly excited, lol. Big words excite me, lol. Okay, I strayed. Back to the subject.

George Lamond finally arrived and I went to the back to say hello. "What are you doing here?" I laughed and told him I had a night off. "You're looking good, Judy! What have you been doing?" My answer: "Zumba..it's all about Zumba. I am addicted! I love it!" I appreciated the compliment.And yes, since I believe the end of March or so, I have lost 23 pounds. I lost this weight because I love Zumba - NOT because my manager insisted on it. And yes, I have a lot to go, but I'm content with me right now. I have great cardio stamina, more energy..and knowing I have multiple sclerosis...I feel better that my health is in a better place. George asked me to sing Don't Stop Believin' with him. YES!!! I love singing with George - he is a true vocalist. And I love harmony...the harmony in that song is sick (sick in a good way)!

The time came and he called me up onstage to sing...and my stupid microphone was not working. Ah, man!!!! Darn. George was gracious (he's a gentleman always) enough to share his mic with me. During his performance, a few people asked to take pictures with me. I told them I would but after his show. I consider it highly disrespectful to take pictures while someone else is performaing. Everyone was so kind. The people who go to Euro are just wonderful, mature and open people. As I went to the bar to get water, this guy says to me, "Please take a picture with me...wow, my girlfriend is going to be so jealous." So I take the picture and ask him, "Why didn't you bring your girlfriend here?" His response? "Because I knew I was going to meet you." Wowwwww...lol.

The night was sadly coming to an end. Last call for alcohol was announced, and the lights came up. The woman who's tag I tucked back into her dressed thanked me again. She made me laugh when she joked that she would always remember that Judy Torres fixed her tag. We are now actually communicating on facebook...which I think is pretty cool. So the Quiet One walks up to me. I'm wondering if he'll ask me for my number.

"Well, Judy, it was so nice to meet you."
Ask me, come on...ask me.
"Guess I'll see you around?"
Nooooo...don't go without asking me, idiot!!!!

And then I did what I promised I wouldn't do anymore: I sugggested. I hinted.

"Maybe we can do coffee sometime?"
"Yeah, that would be cool. What's your number?"
Ding, ding, ding...and the crowd in my mind cheers!

Although I was happy, I wondered if I "forced" something to happen, and that's the last thing I wanted to do. But he did contact me the following day, and we are going to have our first date very soon. I'll keep you posted. All in all, even if that didn't happen at all, I have to say I had Saturday Night fever...and I had so much fun! Thank you, Euro Lounge people!! (www.euroloungecafe.com)