VIDEO SHOOT DAY 1 - PART 2. Cupcakes, Company & Complexes!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010 - Afternoon/Evening

It seemed as if I really couldn't walk...that's how bad my feet hurt.  My podiatrist told me a couple of years ago, that I'd worn out the natural padding on the feet that help absorb shock from all the years of wearing heels and jumping up and down, but I had to!!  LOL.  I was helped down off the crate, and was just about seriously ready to cry, when I saw everyone get kind of quiet.  There was a hush about the room.  The people from Cupcake Stop Bakery entered the room:   Lev Ekster,  Todd Marcus, and Chris Mitchell (chef).  They opened up a large box and to my surprise, there they were - custom made, red velvet cupcakes that said "Judy Torres - Stay" all over them!!  Cupcake Stop began in 2009 and is already growing Nationwide with many celebrities flocking to their shops...even I knew about them, and couldn't believe my eyes when I saw their logo!!  LOL....They presented the cupcakes to me, ; they said they were huge fans of mine!!  And for just one moment, I forgot about the pain in my right foot.  I thanked them, hugged them, and of course, I HAD to eat one!!  Wow...what a great surprise!  They took me to the side to discuss an idea they have to name cupcakes after me!! OMG! That is just outrageous...and I already had lots of ideas!  Just great! I thanked them again, and proceeded to the VIP room, where the winners were. I had plans for them too!

I arranged gift bags for them, that I personally made!  In them were thank you cards, a Judy Torres Stay t-shirt just like the ones worn by the crew, a signed cd of Stay and a framed autograph pic! I walked into the VIP room and handed them out to each one!  I explained what I loved most about their photo submissions.  I wanted to eat with them, but they'd already eaten, lol...it was late.  But I sat with them, and chatted, answering any questions they had.  We got into a serious conversation about a stalking experience I had many years ago (another blog, I know, lol) and we discussed multiple sclerosis and how it can affect my vision, etc.  But all in all, we all laughed,  and we even filmed a video together singing along with Stay!  I had such a good time, and it was everything I'd hoped for. I hope  they enjoyed it as much as I did...I also hope it was a good experience for them!

Going back on set, I changed into my 3rd or 4th outfit.  Can't remember because I changed so many times. LOL.  But this particular look I do remember because I was told that I would be singing it to the acapella.  I was told to not move - not to move my hands or face...just to sing straight to the camera.  And as the music began, I don't know what came over me, but I began to remember some issues in my last relationship and just felt like I was going to lose it.  But I looked into that camera and allowed myself to feel what I felt even if I did what Oprah calls "the ugly cry."

In between breaks, while I was changing and getting make up and hair redone, the crew was filming Raena Rosa and Waseem Khawaja, the actors we hired to be in the video to play the wife and husband/boyfriend respectively! During filming we discovered an amazing surprise, which I will keep under wraps and wait until the documentary comes out, lol.  I only got to thank Raena...and heard she did an amazing job!

Now it was time for me to do the "interaction scene"...the first time I would do any filming with the actor playing my boyfriend in the video.  I'd met with him a few days before, just so I could chat and get to know him, but I didn't even know what the directors had planned for this so-called interacton scene.  I got on set, and we were told that we would be dancing, ensuring lots of eye contact and passion...LOL...Um, ok.  For a moment, I felt very shy. Waseem (pronounced Vaseem) was a very sweet guy - not intimidating in anyway, and yet, I was a little uncomfortable.  Many years ago, I played Queen in a musical called The Life, and every night of performance I had to kiss this man I barely knew...I'm talking all out making out!!  And, I hate to say it, but he had onion breath every night!  It was hard, but I got through it...you do what you have to do all in the name of performing!  So, recalling that situation, I immediately asked for gum, as we were walked through the scene.

I needed mood music...you know?  I asked for some music and we chose "My Baby You" by Marc Anthony and "Carry Out" by Justin Timberlake/Timbaland...yea, that'll work!  LOL. So here we are...Waseem and I...dancing, arm and arm...and my head was down...I don't know what was wrong...I'm a pro...it's not like I'd never done that before, but for some reason, I was looking down.  The director, called for cut, and walked over to me.  The song Stay is about the "other woman" singing to her boyfriend, asking him to Stay with her.  He's married, obviously, and in the end of the song she realizes she's doing the wrong thing for herself and leaves him.  So, the director came over to me, and said, "Okay, Judy.  You're acting like the wife with your head down...you're the other woman here...you need to show more passion, more connection..."   Suck it up, Judy!  Get out of your head and just do it!   So when the music began again, I just decided to enjoy myself. It is a little strange to have a stranger holding you, looking at you with desire, and it's a little strange reciprocating. Some actually call that acting, but I think doing this made me question if I was desirable?  That's it...my insecurities about my weight, about my face, about me...they all came up.

I told that negative voice to shut up; that I was tyring to do a video here, and just like that, it was gone. I went for it...even telling myself, if he makes out with me, as Joy Behar from the View says, "So what? Who cares?"  LOL.  I admit, it felt natural, and Waseem is easy on the eyes too, lol...NO don't go there, people,  there is no interest - he has a girlfriend!! LOL...I do admit he's a fine man...both inside and out...

The fans began to leave one by one between 5 & 6pm...I can't blame them - long day! But I said goodbye, signed more autographs for them and thanked  them once again.  We did the last take and it was finally said, "Okay, people...we're done!  We do this again tomorrow!"  Oh, man..my feet hurt so bad!  I checked my messages!! Oh, my God! I forgot to send my showtape with my manager's assistant to the producer of Beatstock...they needed that hours ago!  I had 48 emails and 2 from my manager pretty mad at me!  I immediately asked for help and between the director and the Bravo staff, we had it emailed out right away.

I came home with 2 vases of flowers, a suitcase full of clothing, bags of stuff, and no personal assistant...I finally got home at 9:43pm...what a day!  I unpacked things, took off the makeup...but red lipstick is a stubborn thing!! LOL...and went straight to sleep.  The next day would prove to be challenging too!  It would be mostly acting - a scene with Waseem, dialogue and what we call the breakdown scene!  Supposedly it would require me to cry on cue...but could I do that??  Hm....goodnight!                   

WAITING! FOR WHAT?!

I was waiting for my father to pick me up for weekly visitation.  It was a cold and rainy Saturday afternoon.  There I was alone, because my brother was ill and couldn't come.  I stood at that stoop. He was to arrive at 3pm.  I looked at my watch, and with butterflies of excitement in my tummy, I waited with bated breath.  Each time I was always nervous, partly out of joy, partly out of fear, but no matter what, I always hoped he'd come.  It was my birthday after all...he HAS to come. I recalled other weekends he'd come over, and I'd see his HUGE Cadillac pull up from around the corner.  Papi would get out, all dressed up, with the gold jewelry flashing the message: "I AM somebody!"  He would get out of the car, and I'd kiss him nervously on the cheek,hoping he'd compliment me...but he didn't.  Didn't matter, it was my dad, and I wanted to spend time with Papi, Daddy, Dad...the man who was to be my hero and take care of his little girl.  I was nine years old.

It was my birthday...it was 3:00pm...I mean 3:30...nope, 4:00pm...I refused to budge.  What if while I went back upstairs and he came by and thought I'd left?  That would be horrible. It was a time when my father was forbidden to call my house (long story, will share on another future blog). It was a time when there were no cell phones.  So I was frozen there...and I was very wet...It was 6pm when I gave up.  I was crying but no one could tell because the rain had camouflaged the tears for me.  Happy Birthday to me.  I told my mom he'd taken me out, and made me a birthday cake and sang happy birthday to me.  It was the first time in a long time...it had happened before, but this was my birthday.  My father stood me up.

Fast forward to my early 20's.  I had a date with Vadim...a fantastic looking Russian man who had pursued me for quite some time. I'd admired him from afar and when he asked me out, I was thrilled.  We'd spoken on the phone for a whole week every single day.  Then the day of the date arrived, and he asked me, "Are you ready for a great evening? I can't wait to see you...FINALLY."  The time had come. He called, he said he was outside.  I couldn't get downstairs fast enough.  There I was all dressed up.  But he wasn't there.  Never showed up. Two days later, I found out he'd made a bet with his friend that he could get me to go out with him and he'd stand me up.  Little did I know his friend and him were down the street having a good laugh.

Fast forward to my early 30's.  One of my exes I'd dated for a year or so.  It was Valentine's Day - and my ex, will call him, Judas..lol.  My ex planned to pick me up at 7pm.  I bought a dress - a gift for him and his daughter from his previous marriage.  I did my nails, hair, etc. 7pm came, but no word from him.  Something in my gut said something wasn't right...so I drove an hour and a half to his home, where his mother answered the door.  "Oh, Judy!  What are you doing here?  Judas said he was with you!"  Huh?  I called him, no lie, 17 times.  And on the 17 try, Judas picked up.

"What!" he screamed!
"Judas, where the hell are you?  You said you''d come get me at 7!  What is going on?"
"Judy, I told you once and I'll tell you again...I've been telling you for three months now, I'm in love with Jahaida and you won't leave me alone."
I was stood up again, and I was betrayed beyond my wildest dreams.  I literally thought of driving my car into a wall that night...so many times...I fantasized it.  I wanted to just die!  My mother saved my life that day by staying on the phone with me while I drove two and a half hours to  her house.  Mom made me coffee and held me while I cried in her arms...until I fell asleep.

Fast forward to today.  I'd met a man in the city...older man 37...I say older because lately it's the 20 somethings that have been asking me out, lol.  We'll call him.. Jay.  We've chatted intermittently for almost a month now, nothing really serious, but I was happy when he called me two days ago asking me out for drinks.  He's handsome, employed, and very funny...and from the South, which I thought was intriguing in a strange way.  Jay and I agreed to meet at a bar...he texted me the address.  It was agreed...we'd meet at 8pm.  He called me at 7:30 to ask if I was on my way..and he reconfirmed.  Good.  

I took a shower, did the hair, makeup, perfume etc...you know how we do it, ladies.  I drove into the city, and couldn't find the place.  Hm, strange. I called him.  "Jay, I'm on West 4th, but I can't find the bar.  Please call me." I sent a text just in case. Then I called a friend...

"Hi, my friend! (That's what my friends and me call each other, lol) Do you know where such and such a place is?"
He looked it up for me on the internet...used search engines...
"Nothing, my friend...I don't know."
So I drove around and around...I waited until 8:30.

I was stood up AGAIN!  UGH! DAMN! F...no, I won't go there. So there I was 2 blocks away from the tunnel when Jay called me. I pull over.

"Hello." (with a pissed off-girl-from-the-Bronx-Puerto-Rican-Rosie-Perez-Attitude)
"Hey, Judy."
"Yea, where are you?  The place wasn't even listed."
"I had a table for us...that damned AT&T."
"Um, did you not think of calling me?  Didn;'t you see my text or hear my message?"
"Well I just got your text now.  I was waiting, but I'm at the subway now on my way home...maybe we can try to do this tomorrow"

NO!  I don't think so!  Helloooooooo!!!!  A gentleman would be worried when his date didn't show up on time.  A gentleman would call to check up on me and ask if I was okay.  A gentleman would make an effort to FIX IT!!!  and offer to see me right then and there..especially if he's from the South.  We hear so much about Southern Hospitality, blah, blah, blah...he must be from the South Side of YOU SUCK!!!!

Whatever.

Gentlemen, I beseech you...PLEASE, consider that when you stand a woman up, it is not only disrespectful, but you have no idea what her past is like.  For me, being stood up is TRAUMATIZING..I feel like that 9 year old left waiting in the rain again. 

I think I shall be like Queen Elizabeth.  She was so tired of being let down by love...tired of betrayal, tired of being denied true love, that she vowed she would never marry.  She is often remembered quoting that she is married to her country.  Perhaps I will resign to be only married to my career...that's that.  Done. My middle name, by the way is Elizabeth.  Next time some jerk stands me up, this queen shall use the famous quote:

"Off with his head!"  Y ya!!!