"WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAIL..." CHRISTINA'S NATIONAL ANTHEM

Tonight, was Super Bowl XLV! Yea, yea, I confess, I really don't care much for football...I care about it as much as it cares about me. But I deinitely watched one of the singers I admire, Christina Aguilera, sing the National Anthem. So many things come to mind whenever the National Anthem is even mentioned. Firstly, it is a brilliantly written song! And if you pay close attention to it, it gives an intense visual of the sights of war: "...and the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air..." And if you really listen to how the melody rises perfectly with the right words, it should ALWAYS deliver chills to the listener. Our National Anthem, to me, is one of the greatest ones written; although I'm sure every person feels that way about their own national anthem - no matter what country they are from.

Another thing that comes to mind is how difficult it can be to memorize the American National Anthem. Have YOU ever personally tried to memorize it? Not the easiest song. One of the reasons most songs written actually rhyme is to make it easier for the listener to remember the words. Not true with the National Anthem. When I was attending Aquinas High School in the Bronx (Class of '85), my choir director and mentor, Mr. Roman, literally went insane when someone, anyone forgot the lyrics to the anthem. I mean his face would turn red, his blue eyes went black (at least that's what it looked like from my standpoint) and his voice went to such volume that one could hear him from the principal's office...and his classroom was in the basement! I remember him saying, "Dammit!!! You are an American...EVERY American should know the national anthem! What kind of American are you??? Jesus!!" Then with his veins popping through the side of his temple, he would sit down in defeat and throw anything within his reach onto the floor. And then...
Silence.

I never forgot that for some reason. His words rang in my head for years. And thank God it did. Four years after graduating, 1989, there I was performing in Flushing Meadow Park, Queens for World's Fair. The Gipsy Kings were headlining, and I had the fortunate blessing of being introduced to them. I didn't understand one word they said...I can tell you it wasn't Spanish. It was a mix of Spanish, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Oh, sorry...back to the story. All of a sudden, Al Bandiero, one of the dj's for HOT 103, came screaming out, "Does anyone know the National Anthem? The person who was supposed to do it never showed up and the show can't start until the National Anthem is done." I was a little hesitant but I raised my hand. There I was onstage, alone...no music, no lyric sheet and Mr. Roman's face bursting in my head. "Oh, say can you see..."

Fast forward to 1993 or so. I found out that the NJ Nets were holding auditions for National Anthem singers. I wanted to be one of them so bad. I had already been singing professional for years, and Iknew all the words. I auditioned and it was harder than expected. As you sing, you hear the line you already sang come right back at you while you're still singing. It gets very confusing...and you basically hear your own echoes delayed for a second or two. It is not just confusing' it's annoying! I was finished. I felt pretty good about the whole thing. Then I got the letter: "Dear Ms. Torres, we regret to inform you that you have not been chosen for this season..." WHAT?!! Do they know who I am?? LOL...Yes, for a second I was full of myself. Sad, but true.

This is what was written about Christina Aguilera's performance tonight of the National Anthem at the opening of the Super Bowl (link:http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Video-Christina-Aguilera-goofs-up-the-National-?urn=nfl-317568): " Perhaps she was too concerned with breaking Patti LaBelle's record for turning single-syllable words into entire paragraphs during the singing of "The Star-Spangled Banner," but noted ex-teen queen Christina Aguilera botched the national anthem something fierce before the Super Bowl. Aguilera started out all right, but she had a problem with the ramparts -- specifically, the "O'er the ramparts we watched" line, which she left out altogether.Aguilera tried to make up for it by combining two lines -- "What so proudly we watched," instead of "What so proudly we hailed", but let's just say that it was too late to reverse the error. Twitter blew up, and all Aguilera could do was to oversing every word from there on out, which she most certainly did."

My point?

Leave Christina alone!!! Oh, my goodness, have YOU ever tried singing it in front of over 100,000 people....acapella...I'm sorry but I have here what I call "singer's compassion." As a fellow singer, let me just tell you...it is a FREAKING TERRIFYING experience to sing at a stadium. It's not the same as when you sing for a concert. Yu sing your own music, with your own tracks or band in the background and everyone in the audience PAID to see you because they are ALL fans!! Not so in this situation...All eyes are on you. She's singing acapella which means she has to stay on key no matter what she does. Not too many people are very good at doing that. Take another look at American Idol auditions and you will see that some pretty good singers lose out on their chance because they're "all over the place" with the key of the song. Then she's got to worry about all that echo coming back, which can throw off almost anyone. Who knows what was happening in her head. Yes, she's a pro. Yes, she's a seasoned performer. Yes, she's great and level of expectation from us is far greater!! But that's my point, we ALWAYS expect greatness from her...and God forbid she doesn't deliver EVERY...SINGLE...TIME! And sure, one could argue that it might be nice to hear her sing the melody without all the runs and rifts and screams, etc...but that's her style and you know it. Why would she sing any differently. Actually I was impressed that she did all those runs and didn't forget what key she was in to begin with. LOL.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just a nice person. Perhaps it's that I realize that there has been a rare occasion when I forgot the words...to my OWN songs...or times when I cracked in the middle of a high note. I say, "Good job Christina!!! You were great~! And when you messed up the words, like a REAL PRO, you kept going...you didn't make it obvious that you flubbed. In fact, I'd bet anything that if there weren't a whole bunch of articles and tweets about it, 1/2 the audience wouldn't have even noticed it. By the way, Ms. Aguilera, you were FANTASTIC in Burlesque!" ...Applause, applause!!

"I May Be Chunky But I'm Funky" - Message to Gabourey Sidieb

Fresh out of high school, I recall deciding I'd pursue being a professional singer.  Although I had good times thus far, I'd also been secretly depressed.  It was a side of me I never showed, or rather never came out until I was in my mid-twenties.  And it was this depression that actually gave me the drive and hunger to sing, because I noticed early on that when I sang, that black cloud was absent.  I felt like I could do anything when I sang. I felt happy, I felt loved and although I was an obese adolescent, I felt  for the first time in my life - unjudged. 

When I first met my manager and other "instrumental" people in the business, I was told, "Judy, if you want to be a singer, you can't be fat....no one will want to sign you.  No one will want to take pictures of you, nor will anyone do a video of you."  It was the first time I was told I was limited. My mother always told me that if I want to be a singer, I should just go out there and get myself heard.  And that's exactly what I did.  Fat and depressed and suffering from acne, I STILL went after it.  A year after graduating from high school, I met my first manager. And a year after that, I had my first single, No Reason to Cry.  I would go on stage and I could hear the whispers, the giggles.  And within a year, the audience got louder in their opinion and would chant, "Go, golda, go golda!" which is a not so kind way of saying, "Go, fatso, go fatso!"  People would tell me it was in jest, "de carino", but having to lock myself in a bathroom and cry was not funny at all.

One day, after a show at Flushing Meadow Park, I was on a park bench crying because the chanting had followed me to almost every show.  A man passed by and said to me, "Yea, baby!  That's how I like 'em: nice and thick!  I like 'em chunky but funky."  I was furious!  Did he not see me crying there?  I was so freaking pissed off, I almost considered quitting my dream of singing.  I wanted to be a singer..I wasn't trying to be a supermodel.  If you have a voice and you can entertain, do you have to be perfect in looks?  Isn't what comes out of my mouth more important than what I put in it?  LOL.  A few weeks later, I was booked to sing at the Palladium in New York City.  It was a HOT 103 concert (before it became HOT 97) and it was an award night.  I had been nominated for best female performer.  I was performing Come Into My Arms that night for the first time.  There I was on that big and famous stage, so many people...and my mother and father were in the audience.  I was so scared. I almost cried before I went on, and thanks to Nayobe, a fellow diva who can sing like nobody's business, she gave me the courage to go on. "Somebody, get her some water, " she demanded.  She looked at me, with her hands on my shoulders, "You listen to me, mama!  You go up there!  This is YOUR night...go do your thing!"  To this day, I still love her always for that gift of courage she gave me.  The lights went down, the song began, I threw my hands out to the side, and before I sang one note, the crowd chanted, "Go Golda, Go, Go Golda!"  I was mortified!  It was bad enough that I had to tolerate it; I didn't want my parents to hear it, God, how embarrassing!!!  I thought of that man, that stranger, who spoke to me in the park.  I asked them to stop the music.

"I wake up every morning, and I look in the mirror and see exactly what you see. I don't try to lie to myself.  I know I'm fat. No one has to tell me. I deal with it every day.  But I'll tell you this:  I MAY BE CHUNKY...(pause)...BUT  I'M FUNKY!!!"  The crowd literally went wild!  I won the award, but I won something else:  the ability to talk to the crowd and take my power back.  The truth was becaue I didn't accept myself, the crowd sensed that weakness and just put it in my face. I had to become my own #1 fan! The next day the deejays were talking about it all day on the air, and to this day it's become my most famous quote, helping me represent plus-size women everywhere!  And from time to time, I will say it and it still gets a great response!

So, I'd like to address this blog to Hollywood and the critics on Gabourey Sidibe's back - claiming she will never make it if she doesn't lose weight:  Everyone has a monkey on their back they have to deal with.  For some it is alcohol, for some it is drugs, for some it is sex, and for some it is food...I think these "critics" are people who feel so lousy about themselves, they cannot wait to find fault with people and purposely try to steal their spotlight.  Give Sidibe a break!  Get off her back!....if you don't want to support her, DON'T...don't hire her, don't go to her movies, but SHAME ON YOU, for judging her...she's so young for God's sake!! Are you trying to break her spirit??  Did you not see her performance in Precious!!!  She deserved to be nominated, and she deserves to pursue more acting...all my life I was hoping to see a plus size woman be THE star in a movie, and not only has it happened, she was brilliant!

Gabourey, I pray my blog gets to you...know how many of us are praying for you, are routing for you and your success.  I pray that you don't allow these ugly people to take you down, don't let them get you, girl!  You do you!  You want to lose weight, go for it...but do it for you.  And if you don't want to, don't. Never, never lose weight for anyone! No matter what, I see your beauty...I see your beauty the way I hoped someone saw mine when I was 16!  I love you, and I SEE YOU!  Go prove them all wrong...and if you don't make it, you are now and always be a hero to me.

PS:  I'm still a plus sized woman.  And although I have never won a grammy, I have had two albums, countless singles, I've had MANY pictures and videos taken of me, I was a plus size model, and I still am a recording artist of TWENTY-THREE gorgeous years, and a radio personality in NYC for THIRTEEN years!  I am still here.....Que Viva Chunky but Funky women everywhere!  We are all deserving of love.  Okay, I'll shut up now.