3:18 am - Fred calls drunk..."Hey, mama!." Yes, I overreacted, but only because I'd told him on more than one occassion that I don't want him calling me after midnight. "Why are you calling so late at night? Don't call me at this time, I'm not your booty call!" Ladies: if a man really is seriously interested, he WON'T call you late at night like he's creepin.
10:00 am - The ex calls. "Happy Valentine's Day, Judy...you're in my heart, I miss you. I still love you." Damn. I admit, he got to me. Tears began to dance. Why? Because my first Valentine's Day with him was the best in my life. Besides being showered with gifts, which I am NOT accustomed to, it was the look on his face: absolute joy. It was the first time he told me he loved me. The next day there had been a blizzard, and NOTHING stopped him from coming to see me and now that I think if it, oh, yeah, he's the only man who ever dug my car out of the snow for me. (Revelation!) Aha - that's why I was so pissed to dig out my car the other day. I miss the "we" we used to be.
10:18 am - Flaky guy, suddenly reappears, "Happy Valentine's Day, hun." Whatever. Hun...when did I tell you to call me hun? What constitutes the right for a man to call me hun, when he can't even call when he says he will.
Worked at the radio station today...and it was fun. Mr. Mak had sent me an email last night stating he would take me out to dinner after my shift. Not so much as a call from him...Today, Mr. Mak is now Mr. Wack. I'm not even angry. Dissappointed? Yes. Angry? Nope. Too much energy to be angry, and honestly I want to be with a man who treats me like a priority - NOT an option. So I went home, ordered Chinese take-out, and watched Extreme Makeover - Home Edition with Tyler Perry helping out. It was a good way to end my Valentine's Day. That show always makes me cry like a baby, but this time I needed 2 boxes of Kleenex to hold my tears. Just a tremendously inspiring show! God bless them all.
So in conclusion - if you are single today on this Valentine's Day, please know you are not alone. I'm in that club with you. The most important question is: How did you spend your time today? Hopefully you didn't wallow in your "single-ness." Hopefully you made use of your time and if you did wallow, I get it. I really do. No one is meant to be alone in this world - not even you. But no one is ever attracted to a wallowing person; only attracted to happy, smiling people. Smile. Even though your heart is breaking. So take a quote from one of my favorite Idina Menzel song, Better to Have Loved:
Better to have loved, than never loved at all.
Better to have dreamed and never taken the fall
Better to have held you and let you in
Than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt, and screamed and cried
Fallen to the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved...you.