Less than one week from the release of the video for my latest single, Stay. It's already received over 5,000 views on YouTube. And the video has caused quite a stir. Stay was originally recorded by country duo, Sugarland; written by it's lead singer, Jennifer Nettles in 2007. From Wikipedia, here is the concept of how Jennifer Nettles wrote the song:
"Stay" is a ballad of infidelity, taking the perspective of the mistress of a man who is cheating on his wife. It begins with the mistress's insistence that the man stay with her — even if his wife should call and ask where he is — because she (the mistress) is "so tired of being lonely". Although the man tells her that he will leave his wife for her, she refuses to believe him, telling him that "it's too much pain to have to bear / To love a man you have to share".
In the third verse, the mistress then changes her mind; according to Nettles, she (the woman in the song) "has her own sense of redemption and realizes she deserves more than being with someone who will never be fully hers".[2] This change is revealed in the final chorus:
Why don't you stay?
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay?
I saw Ms. Nettles sing this song on the Grammy Awards and I couldn't believe this woman's INCREDIBLE voice. I was further moved by the amazing talent in the lyrics...for her to begin the song with the woman asking him to stay, and ending in the song telling him to stay (with the wife)..well, I was just amazed! No one had ever written like that before. SO I wanted to record it with a dance vibe and give it my own spin. In her original video, (an incredible one, I might add), it is just her and the gentleman from Sugarland behind her...simple. Just her and her raw emotions...it's one of MY favorite videos because it takes a brave person to expose her emotions on camera like that. If it were up to me, I would've done the video just like that, but I didn't want to copy it. So - we had the idea to give the new video a story line!! Well, apparently, telling the story wasn't right.
I've been reading people's comments & most people GET IT! The other woman realizes she's being an idiot about her choices, and actually CHANGES her mind. In my version of the video, I made it clear that the woman packs his stuff and locks him out of her life; she changes her mind - takes her power back, relcaims her life. LOL...Yet there are comments accusing me of condoning this behavior. I am not doing so, but I did want to do this video for so many reasons. I did it because I love the message of the song, because I'm hoping the video will give women in this position the guts to leave & stop. I also did this to prove something. Yes, sometimes women in this situation do it on purpose. But I believe that most of the women in this situation are complicatedly (is that a word?), lacking self-esteem. Somewhere in their life they lack confidence; somewhere in their life they were treated second fiddle to someone else and have "learned" that they don't deserve to be #1 in someone else's life...so they allow themselves to be #2. I wanted to humanize her, if just for a second...not so people could feel sorry for her, but just so that people could "see" the story through her eyes. How she got herself in the situation is not important - how she gets hersslf out is the deeper message here.
And, um, not one person spoke of the cheating husband.!!! Remember, I don't care if the woman has a perfect body and shows up naked...the husband is in TOTAL control of how he responds to it. By the way, lol...there are a few people who think this is my story...that Waseem Khawaja, the guy who plays my love interest, is really my boyfriend, and are telling me that they feel bad for me! LOL...he is NOT my boyfriend. And, no, I am not in this position either, lol. I did cry, however, in during the filming of the video, as I did think about the times in my life, where I allowed a man to treat me as a trivial option instead of a first priority. So in that way I COMPLETELY relate.
To those of you in this position: Please let the video serve as a message to warn you that you will have nothing but heartache if you STAY. For those of you not in this situation: heed my words...it is when you sit in judgment of others' behavior that sometimes life will put you in a situation where others will one day judge you. You don't have to condone it - Judge not lest you be judged...Right??
Why do people STAY? They are afraid. They don't think they can do better. They don't think anyone else will love them. They don't know how to be alone. They are used to the drama. They believe the lies they are served. They hold on to fantasy. Please watch the video again, and leave your thoughts here. I welcome ALL of your comments here and/or on Youtube-let's keep the conversation going!!
Showing posts with label Stay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stay. Show all posts
Monday, September 6, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU, HERE IS STAY, THE VIDEO!!!
Woke up deciding that it was going to be a great day. Yesterday was done...today is a new day to decide to be happy; to decide to have no drama; and to decide that I'm good enough to have this video release party no matter what my weight happens to be. I do admit, once in a while, I could hear in my head..."when they see the video, all they're going to see is your weight." But each time it buzzed into my head, I swatted the crap out of it! Dead-blood & guts all over the place!!
The entire day as about tying loose ends: Packing to stay over my friend's house, deciding which shoes to wear, washing the car, making a last minute stop at the mall, stopping at Pearl Lounge to be sure the tv moinitors were set up, the dvd's were working & to ensure the temperature was good. It was a bit warm, but a staff member had just opened the place & promised that by the evening the place would be an ice box. For the first time I ate at Chipotle...yum, lol. It was 4:50pm by the time I was driving to my friend's house. Wait. What am I going to say tonight? Okay-I had to write a small speech. By the time I arrived to David Miskin's house and wrote the speech, it was time to dress. I took a shower, changed, hair, make-up, nerves kicking in. I was shaking inside a little bit, but I LOVED my dress! LOL. It was a deep -jeweled, teal colored Calvin Klein dress. I love it because although it's simple, it flatters. I have NEVER bought myself a designer dress, lol...I know you don't believe me, but it's true.
It was 7:48pm when we jumped in a cab to the city. On our way over, I asked David, "Do you think we'll have a full house? Do you think people from the industry will really come? Do you think my mom will like the video? Do you think people will react to the video when we show it?" Of course he responded with a yes on all counts. And that's when I realized...shoot, I'm nervous. We arrived almost at 8:30pm, and immediately the music director of KTU, Bartel was outside, along with Cary Vance from Promo Only and John Parker of Parker Recordings - three very instrumental people in the music industry. I looked to my right and my younger sister was there. I was elated. Wait. Then my manager was walking in behind me. I knew in a second I wasn't upset with him anymore. Hm, I thought, I look good, and don't even try to change my mind about it! LOL.
It was a FULL house. The music was going! the place was packed with people buzzing, laughing, chatting, drinking and eating. It was also very, very HOT! Oh, my God, did we melt the ice caps of the north pole? It was almost like stepping onto the surface of the sun. But there was not much we could do. We were told the air conditioning was turned up to the maximum. I looked around, and immediately I had to work the room and thank every single person for coming...My friends, the production crew & their friends, people from the industry - it was a great turn out! Even Kayel, Los and Thirteen from TKA/K7 & Swing Kids and CNR from Trilogy showed up. They made me feel incredibly special by being there. The only thing I felt bad about was that I was unable to sit and speak with anyone for more than 20 seconds. No one really had quality time with me. We were going to begin screening around 9:15pm or so, but it was SO hot, I didn't think people would be patient enough.
So at 9:00 Luis Loca, the coordinator of the evening, introduced me. The crowd cheered and I thanked everyone! You should know that most of the time, one's record label would finance your video, but that's only if they are sure it's a HIT or if it is in the budget...lol..you guessed it. Nope, not in the budget. That wasn't my story, so we all decided to work on it on our own, and my manager wanted it done. So I explained that it was done with an incredibly small budget and financed by someone who didn't even really know me well, but believed in me wholeheartedly: the producer, Terence Osborne. I also explained, and you should know this too, that the majority of our production crew was made up of college students. You HAVE to allow younger people with no experience the opportunity to gain experience!! As a matter of fact, the director of photography, Erik Spink was only 20 years old..and he did a magnificent job!
"...And so...without further adieu, here it is: the video of Stay. Roll it." We first showed the behind the scenes documentary and it was SO MUCH FUN! The production crew had their friends there and it was wonderful hearing each and every person receive applause and acknowledgement for their work. After that, we showed the video...and
MY HEART WAS POUNDING IN MY THROAT!!!
Would people like it? Would my manager be right that all people would notice is my weight gain? What about the bedroom scene..would people take me seriously or would they tell me I had no business being in bed with anyone on camera? Would they appreciate my acting? We only had 2 vases for the take where I break the vase in a fit of anger, and have a breakdown on screen...could I cry on cue? All these questions were stabbing my stomach. And for each section of the video, I heard people clapping, laughing, oohing and aahing...and I knew it was a good thing. Whew...it was done & I could breathe again. I gave out crystal awards to Erik Spink, director of photography; Terence Osborne, producer; Gio Alonso, stylist, Javier Rosa, make-up & hair and David Miskin, director. And of course, when I gave David's award I cried. And, David offered me not a tissue but an entire roll of paper towels. (It's an ongoing private joke that I cry so much sometimes I need the whole roll.) David, from day one, has believed that I'm a star, like a serious future grammy award-winning, broadway starring star! He has been a life line to me. Whenever I've wanted to give up on myself, he wouldn't let me! It was his idea to do this video and without his determination that we would do it, and do it right, I wouldn't be writing about it now. I'm really proud of our work, and I'm really happy that with almost nothing, we created something...and it is magical...and it was God looking out for all of us.
I ended the evening dancing, talking, sweating and smiling feeling accomplished. Oh, yea by the way, I did drink - but I did NOT get drunk...I watched people get drunk for me...it was way more fun. The music industry looks at how many views you have on youtube, how many friends you have on facebook and how many followers you have on Twitter...when you watch the video - should you find that you like it, as a personal favor to me, please post it on your pages...maybe this artist veteran of 24 years on an independent recording label could finally make it major and "STAY" in this great business of music that I SO love!!
The entire day as about tying loose ends: Packing to stay over my friend's house, deciding which shoes to wear, washing the car, making a last minute stop at the mall, stopping at Pearl Lounge to be sure the tv moinitors were set up, the dvd's were working & to ensure the temperature was good. It was a bit warm, but a staff member had just opened the place & promised that by the evening the place would be an ice box. For the first time I ate at Chipotle...yum, lol. It was 4:50pm by the time I was driving to my friend's house. Wait. What am I going to say tonight? Okay-I had to write a small speech. By the time I arrived to David Miskin's house and wrote the speech, it was time to dress. I took a shower, changed, hair, make-up, nerves kicking in. I was shaking inside a little bit, but I LOVED my dress! LOL. It was a deep -jeweled, teal colored Calvin Klein dress. I love it because although it's simple, it flatters. I have NEVER bought myself a designer dress, lol...I know you don't believe me, but it's true.
It was 7:48pm when we jumped in a cab to the city. On our way over, I asked David, "Do you think we'll have a full house? Do you think people from the industry will really come? Do you think my mom will like the video? Do you think people will react to the video when we show it?" Of course he responded with a yes on all counts. And that's when I realized...shoot, I'm nervous. We arrived almost at 8:30pm, and immediately the music director of KTU, Bartel was outside, along with Cary Vance from Promo Only and John Parker of Parker Recordings - three very instrumental people in the music industry. I looked to my right and my younger sister was there. I was elated. Wait. Then my manager was walking in behind me. I knew in a second I wasn't upset with him anymore. Hm, I thought, I look good, and don't even try to change my mind about it! LOL.
It was a FULL house. The music was going! the place was packed with people buzzing, laughing, chatting, drinking and eating. It was also very, very HOT! Oh, my God, did we melt the ice caps of the north pole? It was almost like stepping onto the surface of the sun. But there was not much we could do. We were told the air conditioning was turned up to the maximum. I looked around, and immediately I had to work the room and thank every single person for coming...My friends, the production crew & their friends, people from the industry - it was a great turn out! Even Kayel, Los and Thirteen from TKA/K7 & Swing Kids and CNR from Trilogy showed up. They made me feel incredibly special by being there. The only thing I felt bad about was that I was unable to sit and speak with anyone for more than 20 seconds. No one really had quality time with me. We were going to begin screening around 9:15pm or so, but it was SO hot, I didn't think people would be patient enough.
So at 9:00 Luis Loca, the coordinator of the evening, introduced me. The crowd cheered and I thanked everyone! You should know that most of the time, one's record label would finance your video, but that's only if they are sure it's a HIT or if it is in the budget...lol..you guessed it. Nope, not in the budget. That wasn't my story, so we all decided to work on it on our own, and my manager wanted it done. So I explained that it was done with an incredibly small budget and financed by someone who didn't even really know me well, but believed in me wholeheartedly: the producer, Terence Osborne. I also explained, and you should know this too, that the majority of our production crew was made up of college students. You HAVE to allow younger people with no experience the opportunity to gain experience!! As a matter of fact, the director of photography, Erik Spink was only 20 years old..and he did a magnificent job!
"...And so...without further adieu, here it is: the video of Stay. Roll it." We first showed the behind the scenes documentary and it was SO MUCH FUN! The production crew had their friends there and it was wonderful hearing each and every person receive applause and acknowledgement for their work. After that, we showed the video...and
MY HEART WAS POUNDING IN MY THROAT!!!
Would people like it? Would my manager be right that all people would notice is my weight gain? What about the bedroom scene..would people take me seriously or would they tell me I had no business being in bed with anyone on camera? Would they appreciate my acting? We only had 2 vases for the take where I break the vase in a fit of anger, and have a breakdown on screen...could I cry on cue? All these questions were stabbing my stomach. And for each section of the video, I heard people clapping, laughing, oohing and aahing...and I knew it was a good thing. Whew...it was done & I could breathe again. I gave out crystal awards to Erik Spink, director of photography; Terence Osborne, producer; Gio Alonso, stylist, Javier Rosa, make-up & hair and David Miskin, director. And of course, when I gave David's award I cried. And, David offered me not a tissue but an entire roll of paper towels. (It's an ongoing private joke that I cry so much sometimes I need the whole roll.) David, from day one, has believed that I'm a star, like a serious future grammy award-winning, broadway starring star! He has been a life line to me. Whenever I've wanted to give up on myself, he wouldn't let me! It was his idea to do this video and without his determination that we would do it, and do it right, I wouldn't be writing about it now. I'm really proud of our work, and I'm really happy that with almost nothing, we created something...and it is magical...and it was God looking out for all of us.
I ended the evening dancing, talking, sweating and smiling feeling accomplished. Oh, yea by the way, I did drink - but I did NOT get drunk...I watched people get drunk for me...it was way more fun. The music industry looks at how many views you have on youtube, how many friends you have on facebook and how many followers you have on Twitter...when you watch the video - should you find that you like it, as a personal favor to me, please post it on your pages...maybe this artist veteran of 24 years on an independent recording label could finally make it major and "STAY" in this great business of music that I SO love!!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The Eve of Stay Video Premiere and All The Extra Weight!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrTO9yAfRNU
It's the evening before the Stay Video Release Party, and I'm sitting here with true butterflies in my stomach. I attempted to sleep about 20 minutes ago because I'm a nervous wreck. I was in a GREAT mood yesterday. The more the production crew and I spoke about the party at Pearl in NYC, the more happy I felt. It is very empowering when you get to see the results of something that began as a simple idea that popped into your head. The director for the video of Stay, David Miskin, just called me one day and said, "We're GONNA do a video for Stay." My next thought was, "How? With what funds? And yes, I know you all think I'm a gazzilionaire, but what most ofyou don't know is how much money you actually have to spend on a day to day basis just to stay in the business. 20% goes to your manager; 15% goes to your booking agent; 10% goes to your road manager: and I always tip the limo driver- and I tip them well so when I need a favor, they remember my kindness and return the same!! LOL. Then there's your outfits...and thanks to youtube, you have to be careful about repeating outfits....bottom line - it's expensive!!! So for a video, we're talking major bucks!!! You need a director, producer, director of photography, grips, script advisors, wardrobe hair, makeup, studio, you have to feed the crew, etc...
But LOVE, my friends, is always the answer. I have to admit, many people either did this out of the kindness of their hearts, or they did it for far less than I know they deserve. And that's when I feel it. The love. The idea that the producer posted much of the funding and he didn't even really know me well; but he believes in me. It just touches my heart beyond words...and I am deeply humbled! They all did, they all believed in me....and I felt their love the second we all went on the set. And we did it on a VERY low budget. So here we are. We filmed at the end of August, and tomorrow we show the video for the first time!! It began with an idea and a month later, it has been filmed, edited re-edited, and it is now a reality!!
So yesterday I was having a great day until...
I had a conference call with my manager, and the whole weight thing came up again. Although he wasn't at all trying to be mean; he wasn't degrading me as other managers have done in the past, but it hurts when someone says, "When people see this video, all they will see is the weight....how much weight have you gained anyway?" It hurts. I don't care how gentle one is about approaching the subject, it hurts. It hurts because you wake up in the morning and YOU see what's going on...the mirror is screaming the word FATSO to you! I hung up the phone and I CRIED MY ASS OFF!! And then I cried some more...and then I felt a huge sense of panic. I had to do something...I was frantic...I couldn't breathe. I think I had my first panic attack. I remembered what my mom said to me last time I was crying about being told I have to lose weight. She said, "Aye, Judy, please. Why do men try to tell us how to look all the time? What have you been doing for the last 20 something years? Have you been entertaining? The people accept you, they love you, so what's everyone else's problem? Please, next time tell him to get off your back." But sometimes when it's very quiet in my home and I'm reflecting, I'm secretly wondering if I haven't made it big because of my obesity...
I called him back.
"We have to talk because I just spent the last ten minutes crying."
"Oh, no, don't do that..."
"Well, you can't tell me that because that's what happened. I just wanna tell you that I appreciate your honesty, and I know you are only telling me what the industry people will think, but honestly, your timing SUCKS!! I was all excited about this video and the party, and you tell me that all people will see is my weight?"
"Judy, no. You're wrong...that's not what I'm saying...the young people who buy these songs equate weight with being old. I don't want people saying you're old...I don't care if you lose the weight or not. I think you're a beautiful woman..."
"Yea, I know, I'm beautiful BUT! There's always a BUT...But you'd be prettier if you lost weight...I've heard that all my life."
And then it got bad. I went into that cry where you hyperventilate..ank you can't talk because you're trying to breathe. I HATE when I do that...I come across so freaking weak, but I do show my feelings, and I could not have felt lower. I'm even crying right now while I write this, because the whole subject, well, leaves me feeling as low as I can feel.
"Judy, I didn't say you're beautiful but...anything. I was trying to say you're a beautiful woman! I believe in you - I'm not going anywhere and I wont be disappointed if you don't lose the weight. I just think it's a shame that you worked so hard to lose weight and it's coming back on...I want to see you make it, and I don't want your weight to hold you back."
"Well, how did Queen Latifah do it all these years then!" I argued
"She LOST the weight!"
"Yea - NOW she did. But how did she do it all those years ago?"
Back and forth we went like a very tense and exciting tennis match. We hung up, and I felt better. I felt proud that I had the guts to call him back and tell him I was hurt. I felt better that he said he believes in me now matter what I weigh. And, as much as it hurts, I am thankful, that he's honest to my face. We ended the conversation with him reassuring me he cares, he loves working with me and he believes in me but he wanted me to know what others will think, feel and say.
So, I have the dress. I have the shoes, the jewelry...I have friends. I have love, I have family...and I have fans that love every single freaking love handle I own...I know they look at me, and I know they see the weight, but you know what? I believe in myself enough to show up tomorrow weighing whatever I weigh!! I believe in myself enough to say, "yes, I did it for the fat chicks!!" "Soy golda pero soy buena!" ( I am fat but I am good!) and I believe in myself enough to say, "God knows who I am. He knows my heart...and although not perfect, I work hard to love people no matter what, and I want the people to give me the same." Whatever happens tomorrow night among my peers and the music industry guests, I DID MY VERY BEST work in this video! And I am thankful to the ENTIRE crew for believing in this chunky but funky J-To!!!
It's the evening before the Stay Video Release Party, and I'm sitting here with true butterflies in my stomach. I attempted to sleep about 20 minutes ago because I'm a nervous wreck. I was in a GREAT mood yesterday. The more the production crew and I spoke about the party at Pearl in NYC, the more happy I felt. It is very empowering when you get to see the results of something that began as a simple idea that popped into your head. The director for the video of Stay, David Miskin, just called me one day and said, "We're GONNA do a video for Stay." My next thought was, "How? With what funds? And yes, I know you all think I'm a gazzilionaire, but what most ofyou don't know is how much money you actually have to spend on a day to day basis just to stay in the business. 20% goes to your manager; 15% goes to your booking agent; 10% goes to your road manager: and I always tip the limo driver- and I tip them well so when I need a favor, they remember my kindness and return the same!! LOL. Then there's your outfits...and thanks to youtube, you have to be careful about repeating outfits....bottom line - it's expensive!!! So for a video, we're talking major bucks!!! You need a director, producer, director of photography, grips, script advisors, wardrobe hair, makeup, studio, you have to feed the crew, etc...
But LOVE, my friends, is always the answer. I have to admit, many people either did this out of the kindness of their hearts, or they did it for far less than I know they deserve. And that's when I feel it. The love. The idea that the producer posted much of the funding and he didn't even really know me well; but he believes in me. It just touches my heart beyond words...and I am deeply humbled! They all did, they all believed in me....and I felt their love the second we all went on the set. And we did it on a VERY low budget. So here we are. We filmed at the end of August, and tomorrow we show the video for the first time!! It began with an idea and a month later, it has been filmed, edited re-edited, and it is now a reality!!
So yesterday I was having a great day until...
I had a conference call with my manager, and the whole weight thing came up again. Although he wasn't at all trying to be mean; he wasn't degrading me as other managers have done in the past, but it hurts when someone says, "When people see this video, all they will see is the weight....how much weight have you gained anyway?" It hurts. I don't care how gentle one is about approaching the subject, it hurts. It hurts because you wake up in the morning and YOU see what's going on...the mirror is screaming the word FATSO to you! I hung up the phone and I CRIED MY ASS OFF!! And then I cried some more...and then I felt a huge sense of panic. I had to do something...I was frantic...I couldn't breathe. I think I had my first panic attack. I remembered what my mom said to me last time I was crying about being told I have to lose weight. She said, "Aye, Judy, please. Why do men try to tell us how to look all the time? What have you been doing for the last 20 something years? Have you been entertaining? The people accept you, they love you, so what's everyone else's problem? Please, next time tell him to get off your back." But sometimes when it's very quiet in my home and I'm reflecting, I'm secretly wondering if I haven't made it big because of my obesity...
I called him back.
"We have to talk because I just spent the last ten minutes crying."
"Oh, no, don't do that..."
"Well, you can't tell me that because that's what happened. I just wanna tell you that I appreciate your honesty, and I know you are only telling me what the industry people will think, but honestly, your timing SUCKS!! I was all excited about this video and the party, and you tell me that all people will see is my weight?"
"Judy, no. You're wrong...that's not what I'm saying...the young people who buy these songs equate weight with being old. I don't want people saying you're old...I don't care if you lose the weight or not. I think you're a beautiful woman..."
"Yea, I know, I'm beautiful BUT! There's always a BUT...But you'd be prettier if you lost weight...I've heard that all my life."
And then it got bad. I went into that cry where you hyperventilate..ank you can't talk because you're trying to breathe. I HATE when I do that...I come across so freaking weak, but I do show my feelings, and I could not have felt lower. I'm even crying right now while I write this, because the whole subject, well, leaves me feeling as low as I can feel.
"Judy, I didn't say you're beautiful but...anything. I was trying to say you're a beautiful woman! I believe in you - I'm not going anywhere and I wont be disappointed if you don't lose the weight. I just think it's a shame that you worked so hard to lose weight and it's coming back on...I want to see you make it, and I don't want your weight to hold you back."
"Well, how did Queen Latifah do it all these years then!" I argued
"She LOST the weight!"
"Yea - NOW she did. But how did she do it all those years ago?"
Back and forth we went like a very tense and exciting tennis match. We hung up, and I felt better. I felt proud that I had the guts to call him back and tell him I was hurt. I felt better that he said he believes in me now matter what I weigh. And, as much as it hurts, I am thankful, that he's honest to my face. We ended the conversation with him reassuring me he cares, he loves working with me and he believes in me but he wanted me to know what others will think, feel and say.
So, I have the dress. I have the shoes, the jewelry...I have friends. I have love, I have family...and I have fans that love every single freaking love handle I own...I know they look at me, and I know they see the weight, but you know what? I believe in myself enough to show up tomorrow weighing whatever I weigh!! I believe in myself enough to say, "yes, I did it for the fat chicks!!" "Soy golda pero soy buena!" ( I am fat but I am good!) and I believe in myself enough to say, "God knows who I am. He knows my heart...and although not perfect, I work hard to love people no matter what, and I want the people to give me the same." Whatever happens tomorrow night among my peers and the music industry guests, I DID MY VERY BEST work in this video! And I am thankful to the ENTIRE crew for believing in this chunky but funky J-To!!!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
LIGHTS, CAMERA, wait, wait, wait...wait...ACTION!!! Part 1
Woke up incredibly excited about filming for Elliot Loves today. I'd be playing Aunt Nani. Not the role I had auditioned for, but I was cast and I was excited!! I can finally say, yes, I was in a movie; not just any movie, but a GREAT, award winning one with a great cast! We were shooting in Queens, NY, and I had no idea what to expect, therefore I expected nothing. I had decided early on that I would show up and do whatever it took to do well and to be part of this production.
My call was 11:15am, and I was happy to arrive on time. The first person I met was Elaine Del Valle...she would be playing Aunt Carmen, the role I had originally auditioned for. I could tell immediatedly that she had that "thing" that people look for in a star - a confidence, an aura, a presence...it cannot be explained in words, but you see it, feel it immediately. So I couldn't wait to see how the shoot would go. There was an excitement in the air, and we all possessed a bit of it. More and more of the cast arrived and we all introduced ourselves...it was refreshing! Breakfast was served, and there was a relaxed feeling. There was absolutely NO ego in the room...it was as if everyone knew their own power, their own talent, but there were no assumptions that one was better than the other...and I couldn't help but think if the planet worked that way, how much could humankind accomplish?? Deep I know, lol, but it's there.
It was time for hair, make-up and wardrobe! Enter, Javier Rosa, make-up man extraordinaire! His presence was comforting to my slight anxiety because I'd already worked with him for the Stay video, and I knew we would not only look great but that the atmosphere would be a happy one! Elena Goode, playing Ma, showed up...God, she's gorgeous!! Truly. She's one of those few people in the world who just look flawless without make up! That ain't me...I need lots! Gary Terracino, the director to whom I am grateful for casting me, reminded me of my character. "Remember, Aunt Nani is a blue collar worker, she's married with two children...she knows what it's like to be intimidated by Carmen...she's always believing in people...she's the only one who's happy for Ma." Sure. Got it...no problem.
"All actors on set...I need everyone in this scene onset," Terracino exclaimed. This is it. I was nervous, but confident it would all be fine. I didn't realize that because we were filming on location inside a house in Queens that everytime we shot, the air conditioner would need to be turned off. Middle of August, just about, lol...thank God it wasn't humid. But wearing a small jacket would prove to be challenging enough. We were seated at the table, doing the kitchen scene. It was a lot of fun, I have to admit, my character reminds me of Chrissy Snow from Three's Company, not quite as ditsy, but naive. I did a lot of smiling, and I had more fun acting while being silent than doing my actual lines. Lesson #1: Acting seems to take place more so when you are silent than when you are actually speaking.
Off to prepare for the next scene. Next scene, also in the kitchen, but I like to call it "the cooking scene" because that's where the character of Carmen gets cooking. I could tell immediately that I was in the presence of well-seasoned actors. Elaine was on FIRE!! Elaine played Aunt Carmen so fantastically well, that I was in awe of her...she was real, she was funny, she was a ball of fire and I was so happy that she was cast to play her. Terracino chose PERFECTLY well!! The cast's professionalism, demeanor and just great acting was evident, and I was honored AND very humbled to be in their presence. After all, this was all new to me, movie making and whatnot. In fact, there was a moment when I was almost intimidated...who was I to be here amongst these professionals? If I had been cast 10 years ago, I doubt I would've made it through. But thanks to the experience life has thrown me in the music business, I believed in myself just enough to get me through it. You can do it, Judy, or you wouldn't have been cast in the first place! And it was at that moment, that I believed that I could do it, and although I didn't have one line in the scene, I loved it!! Every single moment, every single look, every single smile meant something...and God, just to be there - it really was a dream come true!
We took a break to set up for the next scene. I was STARVING. Wow...the time flew...It was past 2pm already. Lesson #2: If the lighting and scenery is not PERFECT, nothing gets done. Wow...takes so long to perfect the set, the lighting...I think in many ways, we took more time for that than anything else. But it has given me a newfound respect for movie-making and lighting...so important. Did I mention I was starving?? Terracino asked us to get through this scene and we would break for lunch. I don't know how many times we shot the scene but it was many, and each time everyone delivered...so cool One of the funny moments of the day was the food that we used in the scene. We were all so hungry that we all ate the food props!! Elena, who plays Ma, was wonderful & she snatced a carrot in between scenes. I had a bowl FULL of grapes and by the time we ended the scene between myself, Dalia who plays Aunt Denise, and Quentin, who plays Elliot...we ate every single grape...best grapes I ever had. We broke for lunch, and we still had another scene to shoot...we broke for lunch at 3:45pm!
My call was 11:15am, and I was happy to arrive on time. The first person I met was Elaine Del Valle...she would be playing Aunt Carmen, the role I had originally auditioned for. I could tell immediatedly that she had that "thing" that people look for in a star - a confidence, an aura, a presence...it cannot be explained in words, but you see it, feel it immediately. So I couldn't wait to see how the shoot would go. There was an excitement in the air, and we all possessed a bit of it. More and more of the cast arrived and we all introduced ourselves...it was refreshing! Breakfast was served, and there was a relaxed feeling. There was absolutely NO ego in the room...it was as if everyone knew their own power, their own talent, but there were no assumptions that one was better than the other...and I couldn't help but think if the planet worked that way, how much could humankind accomplish?? Deep I know, lol, but it's there.
It was time for hair, make-up and wardrobe! Enter, Javier Rosa, make-up man extraordinaire! His presence was comforting to my slight anxiety because I'd already worked with him for the Stay video, and I knew we would not only look great but that the atmosphere would be a happy one! Elena Goode, playing Ma, showed up...God, she's gorgeous!! Truly. She's one of those few people in the world who just look flawless without make up! That ain't me...I need lots! Gary Terracino, the director to whom I am grateful for casting me, reminded me of my character. "Remember, Aunt Nani is a blue collar worker, she's married with two children...she knows what it's like to be intimidated by Carmen...she's always believing in people...she's the only one who's happy for Ma." Sure. Got it...no problem.
"All actors on set...I need everyone in this scene onset," Terracino exclaimed. This is it. I was nervous, but confident it would all be fine. I didn't realize that because we were filming on location inside a house in Queens that everytime we shot, the air conditioner would need to be turned off. Middle of August, just about, lol...thank God it wasn't humid. But wearing a small jacket would prove to be challenging enough. We were seated at the table, doing the kitchen scene. It was a lot of fun, I have to admit, my character reminds me of Chrissy Snow from Three's Company, not quite as ditsy, but naive. I did a lot of smiling, and I had more fun acting while being silent than doing my actual lines. Lesson #1: Acting seems to take place more so when you are silent than when you are actually speaking.
Off to prepare for the next scene. Next scene, also in the kitchen, but I like to call it "the cooking scene" because that's where the character of Carmen gets cooking. I could tell immediately that I was in the presence of well-seasoned actors. Elaine was on FIRE!! Elaine played Aunt Carmen so fantastically well, that I was in awe of her...she was real, she was funny, she was a ball of fire and I was so happy that she was cast to play her. Terracino chose PERFECTLY well!! The cast's professionalism, demeanor and just great acting was evident, and I was honored AND very humbled to be in their presence. After all, this was all new to me, movie making and whatnot. In fact, there was a moment when I was almost intimidated...who was I to be here amongst these professionals? If I had been cast 10 years ago, I doubt I would've made it through. But thanks to the experience life has thrown me in the music business, I believed in myself just enough to get me through it. You can do it, Judy, or you wouldn't have been cast in the first place! And it was at that moment, that I believed that I could do it, and although I didn't have one line in the scene, I loved it!! Every single moment, every single look, every single smile meant something...and God, just to be there - it really was a dream come true!
We took a break to set up for the next scene. I was STARVING. Wow...the time flew...It was past 2pm already. Lesson #2: If the lighting and scenery is not PERFECT, nothing gets done. Wow...takes so long to perfect the set, the lighting...I think in many ways, we took more time for that than anything else. But it has given me a newfound respect for movie-making and lighting...so important. Did I mention I was starving?? Terracino asked us to get through this scene and we would break for lunch. I don't know how many times we shot the scene but it was many, and each time everyone delivered...so cool One of the funny moments of the day was the food that we used in the scene. We were all so hungry that we all ate the food props!! Elena, who plays Ma, was wonderful & she snatced a carrot in between scenes. I had a bowl FULL of grapes and by the time we ended the scene between myself, Dalia who plays Aunt Denise, and Quentin, who plays Elliot...we ate every single grape...best grapes I ever had. We broke for lunch, and we still had another scene to shoot...we broke for lunch at 3:45pm!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Video Shoot - Day 1 Part 1- Getting Prepared!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Woke up at 5:15am. This is it! Today's the day I've been waiting for, excited for, blogging about, concerned about..it...is...here! Didn't sleep much- you already know how I am, lol. But woke up SO happy! Showered, dressed, packed a bag with intimates. Wouldn't you know it. Murphy's Law: What can go wrong, will go wrong...Murphy's Law in full effect - got my...um, ok, that time of the month...and that meant a BIG zit on the side of my nose too! As if the monthly visitor wasn't punishment enough!
Anyway, my friend, Brenda, who doubled as my personal assistant (she's been personally assisting me, to be honest with you, for YEARS- not to mention she's my bestest friend in the whole entire universe!!), met me at my house and we got into the limo (Thank you, Sophisticated Limousines!). She was excited for me, and I couldn't think of a better person to have been with me in the limo (well only one, David, lol). We arrived at Bravo Studios, on 27th street, which is a green screen studio...I'll explain what that means in a future blog. As soon as I got out of the limo, the filming of the documentary began. God, it was exciting! I got upstairs and there was such a buzz about the entire floor: people running in all sorts of directions; the entire film crew wearing "Judy Torres - Stay T-shirts. There was a spread in the main room - food was outrageously cool! (Thank you, Tuscany Deli -yes, another shameless plug, but you have to thank people..it's the right thing to do!) Brenda immediately brought me coffee & a bagel, and I was thinking, "ok, chica...you don't have to go THAT crazy! I can get my own bagel and coffee, lol!" I sat down, and as I began to eat breakfast, the director, David Miskin, (who is also my bestest bestest friend in the whole entire universe!! Yes, you can have more than one!) called a production meeting and gave out directions as to how the day would go. As I had a big bite of bagel in mouth, I thought to myself, "this is so freaking cool! Look at everyone!"
Production meeting over...time to get my hair and make up done...time to be primped, pushed up, dolled up and diva'ed out! I walked into the wardrobe/makeup room and there was Javier Rosa, make up artist extraordinaire, makeup artist to the stars, including Tyra Banks! "Girl, we are going to get you glamified!!!" In an instant, I am smiling, forgetting about whatever flaws I had in that one instant! And then, as beautiful as can be, there was a HUGE bouquet of multi-colored roses from the director, associate director, Erik Spink and the producer, Terence Osbourne...with a card, wishing me luck! I felt like a real star, I really did...I know you're thinking "Judy, you always are treated that way..." No ttrue. This was a bit different! Make up was being applied, and before I could even put on my first look in wardrobe, the director came in: "Judy, the fans are here!" ALREADY?!?! Wow....and then...butterflies fluttered and danced in my gut, all the way down to my whoo-haaa!! Oh, they're early?! Suddenly, there was Candace, from Lane Bryant, wishing me luck! Wow...this is just too awesome to have so much support!!!
I began to think about everything. I began to worry about everything...are the fans being taken care of? Did Melissa Nikkita (from BIG Management) greet them? Is she with them? Did everyone eat? What are they going to ask of me today during this shoot? What is Javier really thinking about my face? Is Brenda comfortable? Is David ok? I took a breath and realized the following: there were a LOT of people here to help this be a success...this ain't no little video for fun...this is THE REAL DEAL! I told myself, "Judy, you better do this like nobody's business! You better bring it!! Don't f...k it up!! You can do this, but whatever they ask of you, do it! Don't complain!! Be happy - this is a good and blessed day!" And then the stylist, Gio Alonso, brought over the first look "Shazzamity, Judy!!!" LOL...can't even remember what it was...I was nervous! Brenda helped me get dressed, put on my shoes, and Javier and his assistant put on the final touches, and I was onto the set! Ooh, this is exciting!
David walks over, takes my hand, and smiles: "Okay, first time you're going to do it however you feel it. Then we'll do it again and give you direction." Whoo. Scary. So many people around, just staring...I felt like an exhibit in a zoo...and everyone was just waiting for me to do something amusing...lol. There was that slate!!! You know, the slate they use in movies to say, "take one!" So cool!! So freaking cool!! I heard 4 beeps and the song began...here goes nothing! First take is over...everyone applauds...tremendous sense of relief. I felt like if I could get through the first one, I'd be okay for the rest of the day! We did a few more takes, and then we surprised the fans.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
UNWANTED GUILT- MUCH NEEDED CELEBRATION
July 20th...
Lane Bryant GENEROUSLY decided to furnish my wardrobe for the video shoot for Stay on the 27th & 28th. That is unbelieveable and FREAKING GREAT!!! Myself, the director for the video and the stylist went to Lane Bryant on Fulton Street in Brooklyn. It's like stepping into plus sized Mecca heaven! Two floors of plus sized everything! Just great! Spent 5 1/2 hours trying on clothes. At first it seems fun and easy, but it does get quite exhausting, but a blessing nonetheless.
I call my father to wish him Happy Birthday. "Hi, Papi! Happy Birthday I'm sorry I won't be able to see you today but I sent you a package express. Did you get iit?"
Silence.
"What's wrong, papi? You're not happy."
"No...I'm not."
"Why what's wrong?"
Insert guilt-inducing comment here - here it comes:
"Well, I'm a year older and my daughter isn't coming to see me because she's got so many things to do."
Ding, ding...you are correct...tell her what she's won, Bob!
Ugh...why do I get the guilt trip? Sometimes nothing pleases him - as bad as I try, I never succeed.
"Sorry, papi...as soon as I get the chance, I'll take you out. I love you. Gotta go. I had mentioned the audition and he didn't even wish me luck. Oh, well.
Went to a production meeting, and exhausted.
Then went to a party for Elliot Loves hosted by Hennessy. I had been invited the day I auditioned. It was in a stylish and chic lounge, and the entire cast was there. Terracino, the director, was so excited to see me, and introduced me to everyone, and told me, I need to speak with you before you leave. Great - there's hope yet!! I mingled. There I saw Javier, the make up artist for the movie who had initially suggested me for the role. I thanked him, hugged him and had a great time. As I was bidding goodbye, Terracino simply said, "Thank you for coming...I'll send you an email tomorrow. Drats - more waiting.
July 21st:
Voice is almost gone.
Received a phone call last minute about a show that SAME evening! OMG, how the heck am I going to pull it off?
Get a phone call from Terracino, explaining to me that because our schedules conflict and he needs a LOT of rehearsasl time with whomever plays Aunt Carmen - he could not offer me the part.
By then, I had already pretty much figured I didn't get the part. Disappointed, but I was at peace with it. But then, to my surprise, he said, "Judy, we want you on this movie, and we think you would do a GREAT job playing Aunt Nani!" What???? Oh, wow! I got the part in a movie? A real movie?
"Oh, my God! Thank you so much! This is GREAT!!"
"We just felt it when you walked in....star quality..." I know he was saying great things, but my ears had gone deaf from the sheer joy I was feeling. I'm going to be in a movie!! I can now die and say, "yes, I was in a movie once!"
He told me he'd send me revisions of the script and welcomed me. I called my mom and told her the news and she was ecstatic for me. Then, because of my voice being so fragile, I thougth it would be a good idea to post it on facebook to avoid having to call 25 people. Um, boy was I wrong. I won't go into the gory details, but I think I lost a very good friend from this decision...she was angry that I had not opted to call her. In this moment where I was so exhilarated, my joy was almost killed by one person's reacton...but take it from me...I deserve to be happy and at that moment, I did what I thought I needed to do to save my voice.
I cannot wait for the day to come (in August), when I hear, "Lights. Camera. Action...take one!!!" Yeah, baby!!!
Lane Bryant GENEROUSLY decided to furnish my wardrobe for the video shoot for Stay on the 27th & 28th. That is unbelieveable and FREAKING GREAT!!! Myself, the director for the video and the stylist went to Lane Bryant on Fulton Street in Brooklyn. It's like stepping into plus sized Mecca heaven! Two floors of plus sized everything! Just great! Spent 5 1/2 hours trying on clothes. At first it seems fun and easy, but it does get quite exhausting, but a blessing nonetheless.
I call my father to wish him Happy Birthday. "Hi, Papi! Happy Birthday I'm sorry I won't be able to see you today but I sent you a package express. Did you get iit?"
Silence.
"What's wrong, papi? You're not happy."
"No...I'm not."
"Why what's wrong?"
Insert guilt-inducing comment here - here it comes:
"Well, I'm a year older and my daughter isn't coming to see me because she's got so many things to do."
Ding, ding...you are correct...tell her what she's won, Bob!
Ugh...why do I get the guilt trip? Sometimes nothing pleases him - as bad as I try, I never succeed.
"Sorry, papi...as soon as I get the chance, I'll take you out. I love you. Gotta go. I had mentioned the audition and he didn't even wish me luck. Oh, well.
Went to a production meeting, and exhausted.
Then went to a party for Elliot Loves hosted by Hennessy. I had been invited the day I auditioned. It was in a stylish and chic lounge, and the entire cast was there. Terracino, the director, was so excited to see me, and introduced me to everyone, and told me, I need to speak with you before you leave. Great - there's hope yet!! I mingled. There I saw Javier, the make up artist for the movie who had initially suggested me for the role. I thanked him, hugged him and had a great time. As I was bidding goodbye, Terracino simply said, "Thank you for coming...I'll send you an email tomorrow. Drats - more waiting.
July 21st:
Voice is almost gone.
Received a phone call last minute about a show that SAME evening! OMG, how the heck am I going to pull it off?
Get a phone call from Terracino, explaining to me that because our schedules conflict and he needs a LOT of rehearsasl time with whomever plays Aunt Carmen - he could not offer me the part.
By then, I had already pretty much figured I didn't get the part. Disappointed, but I was at peace with it. But then, to my surprise, he said, "Judy, we want you on this movie, and we think you would do a GREAT job playing Aunt Nani!" What???? Oh, wow! I got the part in a movie? A real movie?
"Oh, my God! Thank you so much! This is GREAT!!"
"We just felt it when you walked in....star quality..." I know he was saying great things, but my ears had gone deaf from the sheer joy I was feeling. I'm going to be in a movie!! I can now die and say, "yes, I was in a movie once!"
He told me he'd send me revisions of the script and welcomed me. I called my mom and told her the news and she was ecstatic for me. Then, because of my voice being so fragile, I thougth it would be a good idea to post it on facebook to avoid having to call 25 people. Um, boy was I wrong. I won't go into the gory details, but I think I lost a very good friend from this decision...she was angry that I had not opted to call her. In this moment where I was so exhilarated, my joy was almost killed by one person's reacton...but take it from me...I deserve to be happy and at that moment, I did what I thought I needed to do to save my voice.
I cannot wait for the day to come (in August), when I hear, "Lights. Camera. Action...take one!!!" Yeah, baby!!!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
A NEW DOOR - UNEXPECTED EMAIL
I was really anticipating the day because it was the day we auditioned the actors for the Stay Video. You already know we chose a woman to play the wife, and a man to play the husband...remember I called hmi "Best Guy?" LOL. It was shortly after the auditioning, that I was asked for my email address by the director of the Stay Video. It was an exhausting day because we auditioned everyone; did a screen test, had dinner and debated for almost 3 hours who would be best to play the boyfriend. I got home late. It was close to 1am. I cleaned up a little around the house, and was going to bed...but I checked my email on a whim. Here is an excerpt:
Dear Judy Torres
My good friend Javier Rosa just passed your info on to me. Javier is working on my feature, "Elliot Loves" and suggested you to us for the role of "Aunt Carmen."
The script for "Elliot Loves" has won several awards. The film stars Elena Goode ("As the World Turns") and two-time Tony Award nominee Robin de Jesus ("In the Heights" and "La Cage Aux Folles"). Kerry Barden -- who cast "Pineapple Express", "Boys Don't Cry" and the TV series "Sex and the City" -- is our casting director. We are now half-done with the movie....to recast the role of "Aunt Carmen." When Javier suggested you, we all thought it was a great idea - and would love to meet with you to discuss. Please look through the script above. "Aunt Carmen" first appears on page 34. If you are interested, you can come in and meet with me informally at our offices...Terracino.
OH, MY GOD! All that exhaustion I had felt went on immediate vacation. I read the 97 pages of script and when I read Aunt Carmen, her character was GREAT!! She was funny, strong, vibrant, reminding me of so many latina relatives and friends I've come across in life. I HAD to have that part!! I emailed back around 2:30 in the morning, expressing my joy & interest. The writer/director. Gary Terracino, emailed me immediately and a date for a reading/audition was made for Monday, July 19th. Less than a week away...less than a week to read, and re-read, to study her character, to decide who she is, etc...all while still preparing for the video, answering fan mail, working at KTU AND performing. No problem, I can do this...I HAVE to do this. I used a quote on Facebook not too long ago, stating that it's not just about the opportunity that shows up, but more about whether or not you're ready. I thought, I will be ready.
In high school, I was in all the musicals - I LOVE musical theater, and in college, I studied acting for 2 1/2 years...begain auditioning and always got called back, but never quite landed the parts I wanted. So, here I am now, probably almost 15 years since I've auditioned for anything. Thank God I was kind to all the people who auditioned that day, because karma does show up when you least expect it.
Wow...I could be in a movie; a REAL movie - with accomplished actors and award winning script! This could be the beginning of GREAT things to come! I might even get a SAG card, allowing me to audition for lots of other projects!! Yes!! Oh, yes, I emailed Javier Rosa, the make up artist, to thank him profusely for even mentioning my name - he only met me one time! That is, pardon my french, so freaking sweet of him!!! I am so honored by his kindness! Be good to people you meet the first time, you never know...lol. That is just amazing! God is so good!!!
If you'd like info on the movie and/or would like to find out how to help fund the completion of the film, dn even get credit as a producer, please click this link. Muah! http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1360637681/elliot-loves-keep-it-cutepapi-a-feature-film-in-pr
Thursday, July 22, 2010
SURPRISES & STAY
So I had just ordered new publicity photos, and they'd just arrived. I signed one for her, framed it. Then I went to the florist and bought a dozen red and yellow roses. I purchased a gift bag, and included a signed new cd of Stay with a postcard thanking her. Got a manicure, pedicure and once again wondered what the hell I was going to wear that night. A harmless trip to Rainbow answered half of that question, lol. Yes, I go to Rainbow sometimes too - ...I call those trips "keeping it real!"
The limo picked us up - my road manager, my best friends and me...we were filming some behind the scenes footage, and had a great laugh over the differences of points of view between my road manager, David, and me. We were in horrible traffic, but time spent with friends flies each and every time. Just as the limo approached the entrance, my friend said to me, "Hey, Judy, look who's outside." I couldn't see through the tinted window. I squinted, I pressed my face up against the window, but to no avail. The director for the video of Stay had arranged a surprise for me. Stepping out of the limo...oh...oh...wow!!! It was Mystique Guy!! Damn, do I have enough lipstick on??? I maintained exposure, but inside I was freaking out!!
We were escorted upstairs to the VIP area, and I was immediately suffocated by the cigarettes (which is the WORST thing for your voice) and almost smothered by the people there-a good and sometimes overwhelming experience. As quick as I arrived, I was taking pictures and more pictures and more pictures. I saw Leslie there - great, I thought, she made it! I said hello to her and promised to speak with her after the show. I was afraid the whole time that she would see my giftt for her. I sat down and wondered...okay, how do I begin speaking with Mystique Guy? He's just too cute...very well-spoken - I don't know...he gets me a little twisted. Actually, now that I think about it...he looks a little like Navy Guy! Revelation - revelation! Duh. LOL.
On stage, before singing Stay for the first time, I told the audience how great Leslie has been, what a great fan she is, and how she promoted the show like crazy, etc. I asked her to come up, and gave her the gift. Her smile was worth it all and SO much more! The show was great - the audience was great! And singing Stay for the first time was a little nerve-wrecking...how do I sing this song that's not quite a happy song, show the sad and distresssing emotions she goes through - all to a happy beat? I did the best I could, and went upstairs and signed ALL the pictures Leslie had brought from her collection - she had a lot! It was all good. I wondered what Mystique Guy thought. Ready for this? He had never heard of me before! Another one! He seemed to have enjoyed the show...I hope he did.
Funny thing...while in the VIP, there was a man with a white hat on. HOT! I know, I know, my friends, you're probably saying calm down, girlfriend! It's outrageous - I feel like a shark in the water. Is it my hormones? Is it that it's been a long time since I've had a boyfriend? Is it that I'm human and I'm just giving voice to what people refuse to admit? Hm. Anyway, this guy with the white hat was eyeing me, I was eyeing him. The glances were exchanged on and off - for a moment I thought about saying hello...but I am always the one to break the ice, and it's resulted in picking thewrong man over and over again. And I should mention, he looked somewhat of a bad boy...but looks mean nothing, and I've learned that a long time ago.
Leaving Stone Tavern, Mystique Guy and I exchanged numbers, but honestly I don't think he's attracted to me in that way at all. I was a happy woman though & explained to him that he gave a great audition and he was our first pick - until Best Guy walked into the room. He was VERY gracious and proved to be a good guy. I said goodbye and we got in the limo. As the door was closing, I looked out - the man with the white hat was outside - he was looking directly at me in the limo. The phrase "looking at me hard" came to mind. I thought to myself, "Come on, dude, just say something.." But he remained silent...and so did I. It was a goodnight...for me, for Leszlie, for my friends, for Mystique Guy (who traveled 2 1/2 hours to see the show) and for the audience!! It was a good, good surprise!!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
AM I MY RESUME?
"Who am I anyway? Am I my resume?
That is a picture of a person I don't know.
What does he want from me? What should I try to be?
So many faces all around and here we go....
I need this job. Oh, God, I need this job."
Everytime I audition for anything, I think of that song. Today we auditioned actors in the city for the upcoming video for Stay. We asked 14 men (to audition for boyfriend/cheating husband) and 4 women ( to audition for the wife)...in the song my character is the "other woman." Anyway, I myself was nervous...it's been a while since I have read from any script or had to memorize anything. So believe it or not, I totally related to their nervousness - that's if they were nervous at all!
It was a great process: Going from looking at the actors' pictures and resumes to seeing them come to life in front of you. For the audition, we asked random questions; just wanted to get a feel for their personalities. We also conducted screen tests in which they all did a scene with me. I have to say I loved the experience. Acting the same scene with different people was never the same twice. And seeing the eye contact - feeling the chemistry- well, it's awesome! It's going to be a very tough choice. I think we know which woman we're going with, but the man??? Hm. It's tough...we got really good talent. It boils down to who is the better actor; who is "believeable"? Can the viewers look at him and believe he is a boyfriend - excuse me, my boyfirend, lol? How does he look on camera? Is there chemistry between us? These questions were debated for a couple of hours at dinner this evening with the production crew & honestly, it was intensely exhilarating to be surrounded by people with the same passion for the arts! I think we have 3 great contenders: all good actors - and I'm absolutely dying inside to tell you about them, but until we've made a decision, I have to refrain for now. But I will leave you with this: one is good with improvisation; one has a vulnerability in his expression that is refreshing; and one has a mystique that is quite sexy...
Stay tuned...there wil be video footage to follow, so you can check it out for yourself. Good night! Okay, I love you, buh bye!!
PS: I received an email today asking me to audtion for a movie!!! The cast is GREAT & I cannot even believe I'm getting the chance to try out for it. Meeting with the producers on Monday to discuss it & possibly read for them. Holy crap!! This is so freaking cool!!!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Behind the Scenes, Preparing for Stay: Did You Say "Contest?"
Yes...answered emails, checked facebook, revised the script for tomorrow and writing this blog. I still have to memorize my lines for the auditions! This is so exciting! Tomorrow there will be 3 women and 11 men coming to audition for the video for the new single, Stay. We're looking to cast a man to play my boyfriend/husband of another and a woman to play his wife. Although the part of the wife is a minor role, we need her. And casting the man will be very important. We want to be sure there is good chemistry on camera between the two of us. We, the director and his staff, have made it clear we want it to be believeable that this man would be my boyfriend...not too young or too old.
Today I stopped by the production studio to take a look at the photos and resumes of actors auditioning tomorrow. May I just say that there are some BEAUTIFUL people in New York and New Jersey!!! I mean, wow! Not only are they beautiful, but they were all so pleasant on the phone. I have to admit it's been fun searching for the right ones; wondering what they will be like when the "pictures" come to life. I wish you could be a fly on the wall tomorrow, lol!
Anyway, I have to memorize my lines now...I haven't acted in a long time....I'm really nervous and at the same time, I am SO confident that the right people will show up tomorrow and we will have what we need for the next step. By the way, the man I met in court yesterday called me today...AND he's single!! Hurray!! There was only small talk because I was so busy, but I'll keep you posted on that one! Navy Guy called today too, but I missed his call, darn!!
In case you've not heard, we are conducting a contest where three fans (and a guest per winner) will win a spot to have VIP access to the filming of the Stay video, meet and greet with me and a special giveaways as well. If you're interested, visit http://www.judytorres.com/contest PLEASE BE SURE TO READ the rules for entry and finally email your photo with your information to contest@judytorres.com - that is the email address needed to submit your entry. It's going to be so much fun, and interesting for us to have that kind of experience together! Going to rehearse now...man, my throat is killing me! Okay, I love you, buh bye!
#77! Waiting, Wishing, Wanting, Whoa!!!
This morning was my court appointment. I showed up at 8:30 a.m. I was number 77 on the list in spite of my early arrival. As instructed, I came with pictures I'd taken to prove I had my inspection renewed immediately, and then I waited. Many people needed to be seen, many before me and many after. It's just one of those things where you just have to wait patiently. Then I found myself wishing, wishing I would get called a bit sooner. It was almost 11am, and I hadn't had breakfast yet. I was beginning to get what I call the Hunger Headache. And then...I was wanting...wanting for the ticket to be dismissed. You know what the universe told me today??? "It ain't gonna happen, Judy." I spoke with the prosecutor, showed the pics to him and to the judge....final outcome: $139. As you all know I make it a habit to remind people that when bad things happen you have to find the good in it. Ok...what can I appreciate here? What's the good? Ok. I will NEVER EVER AGAIN allow my inspection to expire! LOL...Thank God, I was able to afford the ticket. (that's the second thing). Last but not least, there was a very handsome 40 something year old man - who I think was flirting with me and asked for my card. Don't know if he was or not, but at least he was handsome...give me a break people, it's been a while, lol, nothing wrong with looking right?
Oh, good news!!! Navy Guy returns to port in the US of A two weeks from today. What? What did you ask? Am I excited? Does Mother Theresa pray?? Are chancletas part of a hispanic woman's footwear? Hell yea!! LOL...okay, I'll update you next time I hear from him. (Yes, suspense, people...it works, lol)
Now, I'm wanting...wanting to get voted to be a guest host for LIVE with Regis and Kelly. My fans/friends have shown INCREDIBLE support, many voting for me more than once and the deadline is just two days away! It would be fantastic to be on telelvision; not merely for the great publicity, but to show others in the industry that I can do other things, and television would be great! I'd KILL to be the next Oprah....I'd be the Puerto-Rican, Cuban "OPRAHITA!" LOL. I'm also wanting my new single, Stay, to sell well and get on the radio - but we've got to sell LOTS of copies to earn a place on the airwaves!.
I am so excited...today I was incredibly busy as I met with my video production staff! Yes, we are doing a video for Stay . So much to get done: find a leading actor, supporting actress, hire director, producer, visual director, write the treatment, story board, get props, soundstage, scenery, make up artist, wardrobe, sytlist, hair stylist, have rehearsals, rent studios, hold auditions, lose 50 pounds in 2 weeks, lol. Whoa!! I am happy to say, today I made the calls to audition the man who will play my boyfriend in the video...I told them my name was Samantha, lol., I didn't want to freak them out. I have to say so far, we have fantastic contenders for the part...okay, I can confess, not bad looking either, lol.
So it's after 3am now, and I'm wiped out, and I have to be up bright and early to record my next song (yes, in this business you MUST think WAY ahead) , but I wanted to fill you in...it's been a little bit! Okay, I love you, buh bye!
Oh, good news!!! Navy Guy returns to port in the US of A two weeks from today. What? What did you ask? Am I excited? Does Mother Theresa pray?? Are chancletas part of a hispanic woman's footwear? Hell yea!! LOL...okay, I'll update you next time I hear from him. (Yes, suspense, people...it works, lol)
Now, I'm wanting...wanting to get voted to be a guest host for LIVE with Regis and Kelly. My fans/friends have shown INCREDIBLE support, many voting for me more than once and the deadline is just two days away! It would be fantastic to be on telelvision; not merely for the great publicity, but to show others in the industry that I can do other things, and television would be great! I'd KILL to be the next Oprah....I'd be the Puerto-Rican, Cuban "OPRAHITA!" LOL. I'm also wanting my new single, Stay, to sell well and get on the radio - but we've got to sell LOTS of copies to earn a place on the airwaves!.
I am so excited...today I was incredibly busy as I met with my video production staff! Yes, we are doing a video for Stay . So much to get done: find a leading actor, supporting actress, hire director, producer, visual director, write the treatment, story board, get props, soundstage, scenery, make up artist, wardrobe, sytlist, hair stylist, have rehearsals, rent studios, hold auditions, lose 50 pounds in 2 weeks, lol. Whoa!! I am happy to say, today I made the calls to audition the man who will play my boyfriend in the video...I told them my name was Samantha, lol., I didn't want to freak them out. I have to say so far, we have fantastic contenders for the part...okay, I can confess, not bad looking either, lol.
So it's after 3am now, and I'm wiped out, and I have to be up bright and early to record my next song (yes, in this business you MUST think WAY ahead) , but I wanted to fill you in...it's been a little bit! Okay, I love you, buh bye!
Friday, July 2, 2010
WAITING FOR STAY
It's a holiday weekend....AND
I'm sick. Ugh - throat infection.
So due to all the rest I had today, I wanted to share with you my thoughts about my new song, Stay (available on itunes now, yes, I know it's a corny shameless plug, but I had to do it, lol)
Here's what happens when you release a new song - ready?
You pray very hard every spare moment you have that you will have a successful song
You hold your freaking breath...
You hold your breath some more...
Anyone who wants to be in this business, be prepared to wait. Waiting, my friend, becomes such a big part of the music industry. You wait for someone to discover you. You wait to get signed. You wait to release a song or album. Then you wait to see if anyone bites and adds the record onto a radio station. You wait to hear it on the radio. You wait to see if your fans will buy it. You wait to hear what they think. You wait to go onstage and sing it. Wait, wait, wait, but wait.
Last year, I submitted many songs to my lable for consideration to which they declined all of them - frustrating, but I didn't give up. Then I asked my label if I could record Stay. I was told, "Okay, let's see what you come up with." I called Valentin, producer of Faithfully, and we recorded it. I got my good friend, Wilma, to sing back-up for me, and submitted it to the label...who wanted "changes." LOL. If you're considering being an artist, you've got to get used to hearing, "it's not enough...something's missing. Go back and do it again." We did it over and over, added, took away, and FINALLY they said yes...but then there are contracts to sign. And I HATE the business part of the business, but until everyone is happy and everyone has signed all papers, NOTHING happens... At the very end, one day, the label wanted a little piano fill in just before the second verse...that little change delayed the release. I admit it sounds great, but I can't hear that part without either flinching or laughing because those four notes they wanted delayed the release. God bless Valentin for his patience! LOL
Today, I find myself waiting again, lol. I'm still holding my breath. There is an excitement that lives and breathes inside me when a new song is released. The label released Stay much sooner than I had expected...although I've waited almost a year for it to be available. So now everything is rush, rush, rush...rush to order photos, rush to get my bio updated, rush to do a video! Oh, my God, we have to do a video NOW!!! Oh, yes I forgot, you wait and then you spend...you spend a LOT of money. I have paid my bio writer to update my bio, paid my web designer to update the site (judytorres.com - another shameless plug, but it looks great, lol). I paid my manager 20%; I paid the printer for photos, paid an internet publicity company to help me get the song heard...
Stay was released on June 22nd. I was watching tv and saw this woman, this beautiful woman, sing this song called Stay, with tears in her eyes...and the tears were real and her voice was REAL!! Really amazing! Who is this woman? I googled and googled and found Jennifer Nettles of country duo, Sugarland. She wrote it while going through a divorce, but man, what a voice!! I had to record it...why? Because we ALL put ourselves in relationships that are unhealthy for us at some point and need to find the courage within ourselves to admit it. I have a passion for singing about empowerment - that's just me! Well, I recorded the song almost a year ago...look how long I've waited to see that happen.
It is VERY difficult when I release something other than freestyle, because I know I'm gonna "get it" from the fans, lol. I know what they want: simply put, more freestyle. In this big music industry, what you don't know is what the bigwigs think, say, etc....to them freestyle is now considered a "classic" style of music, to some, they think I'm too old, and the only way to suvive in this business is to evolve...All the best of the best artists do that - they evolve, they reinvent themselves, they surrender to the fact that music always changes and you have to change too. The current shifts, and you have to practice the art of flowing with the current. Swimming upstream just doesn't work. You'll end up tired, you'll end up wasted...you'll end up alone.
So, although freestyle is always in my heart, I close my eyes like I'm watching a scary movie, and PRAY that my fans love me...not just my music...So far the record label told me it is too soon to know how it's doing...I have heard some like it and some don't. So I've done all the things I can actively do, and now....I wait. I am proud of the recording...vocally, it's one of my best! That I can be proud of.
In many ways, I see these next five years at my last chance to prove myself in the music business - to make a bigger mark than before. In the meantime, I continue to do all I can - record, write new songs, make appearances, perform...and the rest , I leave up to the people...LOL. And then, I leave it to God! That's all I can do. In a future blog, I will tell you why Stay means so much to me and when I work up the nerve, I will tell you about the ugly politics...but not today. Today, I wait...I wait for my throat infection to heal, I wait to get another chance with the public, I wait to see if the song gets radio play...I know, it's not a very exciting blog, but hey, I'm sick, lol! Just wanted you to know it means so much because I've watied so long. Oh, here's a teaser, Navy Guy is returning home at the end of the month!!
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