MS. TORRES' OPUS 2011

I received an email from a graduate from my alma mater of four years later, Margaret Goulet, a teacher at PS 189M in Washington Heights, NY. She explained that the music programs in schools are being cut, and their school's music program is thriving with very talented children who could use inspiration from someone in the music business. I was invited there, and Tuesday, February 8th, I arrived to speak with the students. I didn't bring any speeches because I have learned from past experiences that the children don't want speeches; they don't want to be spoken "at", they want to be spoken "to".

I arrived and was taken to the auditorium, which was of a nice size. No one was there yet, but I was introduced to the music teachers and then was taken to the library to wait until my appointed time. Somewhere around 1:30pm or so, I was escorted to the auditorium. There they were, perhaps around 200 or so children. All those eyes on me as I walked down toward the stage. And I find it amusing that I found myself wondering what they might be wondering. What were they thinking?? Were they thinking, "Wow. She's big!" or "Where' the bling?" or "Doesn't she have bodyguards?" LOL. I know, sad, but true. But then I tell myself what almost gets me through anything almost every time: Just be yourself! I was introduced to the 5th graders and then all eyes were on me. Hm, I'm a little out of my element. Most of the time, when in front of any crowd, I am a bit more relaxed knowing in advance that most people PAID to see me...I know in advance that they came to see me. This was a little different - they were brought to see me. Children have an inborne talent of knowing the truth...it doesn't matter what you're wearing, or what you say, the way a blood hound hunts down the prey, children hunt down your sincerity - they want to know that you are truthful.

I took the microphone...looked out at them, and broke the ice: "Waaaazzzzzuuuupppp!!!" They laughed, and I smiled and thus began my talk about where I had come from: oldest of 5 siblings, raised by a single mother in the Bronx, on welfare, but knowing the entire time that I wanted to be a singer. Then I told them how I was discovered: at a local gong show in the Bronx, by a man who had NO experience in the music business - just a heart of gold wanting to really help me. I went on to tell them how I recorded my first song, and what it felt like when I heard my song on the radio.

I brought along my "visual aids." - Photographs taken with celebrities & autographs of celebrities wishing me well, etc. When you speak to children about being a "celebrity", but they've never heard of you, the easiest way to get them to be more open minded is to SHOW them where you've been, who you've met and of course show them all the cds released along the way. Their questions always amuse me: "Judy, do you know Pitbull? Do you get scared before you sing? Can you sing for us?" Ah, I always get the last question...and singing for the children somehow makes it real for them, so I never say no. (I just tell them that I will sing AFTER the talk.)

I love 5th graders. They have a gleam in their eye, knowing that anything is possible...they still have hope, they have dreams and they are open to working hard. The talk was over, and then Ms. Goulet said, "Ms. Torres, before you go, we are going to take you back to 1018 and Roseland." She asked me to take a seat in the audience...And then they walked onto the stage: about 8 chorus girls to my left, 20 or so children with recorders in hand, 8 boy steel drum players, and here's the kicker: about 12 violinists! There is something about the violin and cello that almost always move my heart in a way that makes it beat faster...to me, the strings "cry" out the emotion of a song. The music teachers, one on drums and the other conducting, joined them and they began to play.

For 24 years, I had heard the "strings" on my songs, but they were computerized...but then I heard the children playing the string line from one of my favorite songs: Come Into My Arms. Be still my heart! I was rendered truly speechless. My heart began to pound...I looked around and they were all smiling. They were performing Come Into My Arms for me! For me! Wow...and then, you already know what happened: I cried. How could I not? I realized rather quickly that they must have been rehearsing this for a long time; that they had to be taught a song they most likely had never heard....and they played it for me. I can't explain why I was so moved, except to say that I felt VERY validated and affirmed as an artist. I think it's quite interesting that performing at Madison Square Garden should make me feel far more validated. And it did...don't get me wrong, BUT...the children...when the children played the song for me...I was honored. I felt like the luckiest person in the world...or as my mom would say, "blessed, Judy, not lucky. There is o such thing as luck." LOL.

I was immediately taken back to the movie, Mr. Holland's Opus, starring Richard Dreyfuss. And if you have never seen it, you honestly need to. It is a story about a teacher who gave up his life long dream of becoming a famous composer and musician in order to teach children at a school. He wss somewhat forced to teach as a means to make a better income because he and his wife were suddenly expecting a child. Mr. Holland always had plans to leave teaching, but before he knew it, 30 years later...he was still a music teacher...and to his heartbreak and surrpise...he was fired. On his last day, he hears something in the distance, and when he enters the auditorium, the students both present and from years past, are there to celebrate him and his life's work. And then to his amazement, he discovers that his students have prepared his symphony, which he had kept a secret for so many years. It is one of those, Randy-pass-me-a-tissue moments, and I cried like a baby. And when the 5th graders of PS 189M played Come Into My Arms for me, I knew EXACTLY what Mr. Holland felt. It was a privilege and an honor...and I felt that all these years of hard, hard and sometimes unrecognized work, was finally being recognized and appreciated. What an honor!! I am humbled...to hear your own song being played for you by children...it's the closest thing to hearing angels sing thatI could experience!

I spoke to the children afterward, I took some pictures and I even spoke to some parents afterward....I went home feeling so happy. And later that night, I received an email from Ms. Goulet thanking me, and informing me that the children were so excited that a real singer came to visit them. She said that they "got so much out of it." No..no...I beg to differ. I was the one who got so much out of it...they gave me a gift that I shall take with me even 'til the day I die. There is no better feeling than giving to those who need, and no better feeliog to love and be loved!And for one glorious day, I heard through the hands and ears of children - Ms. Torres' Opus!!"

PREPARING TO CELEBRATE 25 YEARS of FREESTYLE!! A brief history..

First, let me apologize to my faithful followers of the blog!!  I know the blogs about Le Parisen were suddenly gone...I was doing some editing, wanted to change some things, and when I went to retrieve them, I accidentally lost them!! UGH!!  I actually saw some followers having a conversation among each other...it touched me actually that you were worried about me.  I am fine.  Now I know the true meaning of "backing up your computer & documents"!  LOL...

So we are almost 2 weeks away from the celebrating the big 25th Anniversary of Freestyle!!  Wow!  I can't even begin to tell you how crazy that sounds!   I have had this career as a recording artist for 24 years...yes, freestyle had a head start before I broke in the business.  If you are a freestyle freak, you will recall how freestyle spread like wildfire in New York, Florida, Iloinois and California!  Freestyle was in everyone's walkmans (lol, remember that?), cassettes and on the radio on almost every station....it was huge! Freestyle became unanimous with New York culture!  Freestyle was a celebration of the latino culture influencing American dance music - it was clean, feel good music. It was about love, falling in love, losing love, wanting love, cheating love...bottom line it was about the basic feelings of the youth in the 80s.  In other words, freestyle was good, clean fun, music...you have never heard about "gangsta freestyle" LOL...

The 80's were synonymous with freestyle, cavarrici's, high hair, aqua net hairspray, and nightclubs such as Palladium, 1018, Devil's Nest, La Mirage, Marty & Lenny's, Copacabana, Exit, Paled's, Red Parrot, and Emerald City!!  It was a wonderful time for all of us - we were free!!  We didn't have all the drama...we were just celebrating and loving life!  So at first this style of music had no name.  But somehow the industry decided it needed a label. I HATE labels...labels, I find them to be limiting.  Labels puts things in a box, to me, keeps things restricted. So the music industry began writing articles:  "What is this new wave of music?"  "The New Latin Hip-Hop...then it evolved to Latin Freestyle...now because I think music is for all people, it is simply FREESTYLE!!  And the crowds that the freestyle shows drew were in drones of the thousands!!!  I will NEVER forget that!  I can never forget it!  And so,  freestyle became a frenzy, an out of control storm force that could not be stopped.  Or could it???

Suddenly in the mid 90s, something happened, and everyone has a different explanation for it.  In the mid 90's there was a station called HOT 103...Hot 103 had given birth to the freestyle by being the first station to play it.  And before you know it, major pop stations such as Z100 wanted to have freestyle artists to perform at their functions.  And what most people don't know is that in the inner circles of freestyle, it became a political war!  Station vying against station, fighting over us...We had a chance to cross over and be more pop, aka, TOP 40 - the very thing all artists strive to achieve.  And for a second we had a taste of it.  But what you don't know is that while many of the freestyle artists saw the chance, we couldn't take the opportunity.  You see, there was a threat going on behind closed doors. It was an unspoken threat:  If you do the show, the parade, the concert for such and such a station, we will black ball all your music and NEVER support your music again.  It may not sound scary, but it became extremely frustrating to feel that one small step could potentially ruin our career...so in a way, many freestyle artists were literally held back. 

There is another theory as to why freestyle did not continue:  EVERYONE was doing it - everyone wanted piece of the freestyle pie...this is not a fact, just an opinion  here.  But I feel that in some ways, freestyle needed to grow - it needed to expand and change and evolve in the very same way that hip hop and rap has over the years.  For some reason, the demand for new freestyle was so HUGE and STRESSFUL, that many people just copied the same recipes from other songs, and before you know it...some people could not distinguish who was who.  Also because everyone wanted it, so many more freestyle artists were emerging...and it seemed that everyone was signing anyone, and thus, the quality of some artists, the standards were not as high anymore. I am not trying to put anyone down - it's an observation that many of us have talked about.

I will never forget the day I was at HOT 103...and an announcement was made that they were changing dials to HOT 97. In less than a year, sometime in the early 90's, HOT 97's program director announced that HOT 97 would no longer play freestyle...they announced they would be changing their format to play a new genre of music:  Hip-Hop!  It was the beginning of the end for freestyle!  And once New York stopped supporting freestyle, the other stations around the country followed suit.  And we were faced with a harsh reality that freestyle was "over."  We were told to go find jobs...I had even heard a rumor that the program director owned a restaurant at the time, and was said to have mocked us by saying, "If they need a job, they can wait tables at my place."  Ouch. That hurt.  I never forgot it.

I remember walking the streets of Parkchester, in the Bronx...and wondering, "What am I going to do?"  We had such a  tremendous success, that I think we didnt' see the end ever coming.  We felt invincible...that freestyle would last forever.  We were wrong...well, sort of.  I can't tell you what everyone did; I can only tell you what happened to me.  I was not ready for the rainy day.  I did not save enough money.   was so preoccupied with taking care of my family, my siblings, etc., that I kind of gave it all away.  And little by little, the shows slowed down.  the bills began coming.  It is VERY expensive to keep this business going. Each artist is their very own business...and they have LOTS of overhead:  you have to pay your manager, booking agent, road manager, dancers.  You have to constantly invest an re-invest into yourself...there are costumes to buy, shoes to wear, make up, hair, nails...and you have to keep it fresh to keep up the face e of the illusion you've learned to give the public.  The public loves to believe you have it all, when in essence, you are truly spending a LOT of money.  In less than a year, I lost my precious condominium that Ihad purchased at the age of 18!  Gone. Done.  My stubbon self refused to declare bankruptcy, so I paid off every single credit card.  I was stil singing, but instead of 12 shows a month, it was about 2...too little to suvive one.  I became an aerobics instructor, I worked for two attorneys, and every once in a while deal with the "shame" of someone recognizing me on the street, saying, "Oh, my God! Judy Torres?? Judy Torres works here?!"   Ah, yes it was a very humbling time for me...and I am happy to have been humbled!  It was a valuable lesson to learn...and I'm glad God gave me that lesson very early. 

And then something happened.  The phone started ringing again.  I was told that the people in the clubs were asking to hear me perform...huh? But the songs are so old now...it didn't matter.  And in a couple of months I was working regularly perfornmng in clubs.  I wasn't the only one - George Lamond TKA Coro, Cynthia, etc...we all were working consistently.  And in a few more years, a new station re-emerged:  WKTU, the Beat of New York. And they supported freestyle...the people's hunger to hear it agin was satisfied. I was hired there and for 12 1/2 years I hosted the KTU Freestyle Free For All.  And soon after, the idea of freestyle concerts began to flourish, and we were once again thrown into a resurgence of freestyle, accompanied by new fans - the younger borthers and sisters and children of the original freestyle freaks!  We've been able to say we've performed in the big arenas:  Nassau Coliseum, PNC Bank Arts Center, arenas all over the country and finally the world famous Madison Square Garden....almost 25 years later!!  Sold OUT!!  It has been an incredible ride.

We are now less than two weeks away from the 25th Anniversary of Freestyle!! Twenty-five years!!!  A quarter of a century! If someone had told me I'd still be singing No Reason to Cry ans  Come Into My Arms 25 years later, I would never have believed them!  But yet, here we are...and I have to tell you how grateful I am, how grateful we all are, that you have stood by us through thick and thin.  And it is YOU, the PEOPLE who forced freestyle to be reincarnated!!!  I will take this joy to my grave!  And I will NEVER again take it for granted. I am well aware that we are all getting older - many of you have children, mortgages, and I fear the day that you wil all say, "Ay, I wish I could go to the show, but I'm too tired!" LOL...

And so, I enjoy
every
single
moment!!!

And when I step out onto the stage in two weeks to sing, I am going to soak up EVERY SINGLE MINUTE!!  I have some special things planned...I want to show the "industry", well, we STILL GOT IT!! And FREESTYLE isn't going anywhere!!  It is the voice of the people, it is a part of our culture...it is our LEGACY!!!                                        

Promo Only in Atlantic City - Part 2 of 3

Kim Sozzi & Me

Tuesday, August 17, 2010 - A.M.:

I woke up with my feet KILLING me! And for those of you wondering, yes, I've seen a podiatrist about the pain. It seems that I've worn away the natural padding in the soles of the feet responsible for absorbing shock.  Apparently, it's from all the years of wearing heels for too long for too many days.  Either way, they were KILLING me! I thought about just resting for the day because I was scheduled to perform that evening.  Ah, yes, I'll take a long, hot bath and order room service..watch the View!  Yea, that's it!  I began to fill the tub, when I received a text.

"Hey, Judy, you still wanna have breakfast?"
Darn. I had forgotten I invited Kim Sozzi and her friend, Michelle, to breakfast the night before.  
"How 'bout we get together in about 45 minutes?"
So much for the bubbles! And just like that, I was showering and dressing for breakfast.

Kim and Michelle are BEAUTIFUL women..they're also size 2 and 0 most likely. I wondered  to myself.  What to skinny women really eat for breakfast? I promised myself at that moment that whatever the girls ordered, so would I? I thought perhaps they have a secret.  What did they order?  Kim ordered a cheese omelet furnished with home fries, french toast, juice and coffee.  Michelle ordered a Grand Breakfast:  2 eggs, 3 links of sausage, 3 strips of bacon, coffee, juice, AND 2 buttermilk pancakes!  Um, Hello!!!
"Yes, sir, I'll have what she's having!"
Half hour later, we were talking about family and the music business...I looked at their plates. I couldn't finish my pancakes or bacon...was just too full? I looked at their plates...GONE!  LOL. Oh, well, there goes that theory.

Afternoon:            

I was sitting at one of many panel discussions throughout the day at the convention. Lucas Prata, a recording artist, asked the program directors on the panel why it is harder for recording artists on independent labels, such as Kim Sozzi and me, to get their songs on the radio than for major label recording artists.  I thought that was a GREAT question. In all honesty, my perception of that has been very true.  I've wondered sometimes if I had been signed to a major label, would I be climbing such an uphill battle.  I mean when I look at songs on the radio and see the artists, they are almost ALWAYS on a major label. One of the program directors responded, "I don't care what label an aritst is on. A hit is a hit.  I want to play a hit at the end of the day. " I thought that was a good and truthful response, however, I confess, not my experience.  But I think people, the listeners, the fans, are the most powerful weapon. Many years ago, my label had told me that they would release no more songs from my album. But there was this one deejay named Little Louie Vega, who played Love You Will You Love Me at a club called 1018 in NYC, and the PEOPLE called the radio stations and requested it so much that the station called my record label. Two weeks later, my label called me for an emergency photo shoot because the song would be released in two weeks.  That song was a strong hit for me!!  And just as I was relishing the nostalgic feeling, I received a text.

"Judy, bad news. I woke up this morning, and Frenchie wasn't moving."

My heart stopped. Nah, I'm sure she's just sick or something.  The panel discussion was a really important one. One of my bosses from KTU was on the panel. I couldn't just walk out.  I tried to stay, but I COULD NOT! I walked out and called July, my friend who'd taken in Sedona and Frenchie.  Frenchie died. Just a year old. She had a hard life. She was in a shelter for the first 5 months of her life. She'd been officially adopted by a person who signed all the papers but never came back for her. I picked her. I'd chosen her for me.  She LOVED her belly rubbed; never met a more affectionate kitten in my life. She had an infection while I had her, and then she'd swallowed something sharp and tore her throat up. I nursed her back to health and $2000 later, she was better.  Today, she died with no explanation.  My only comfort was knowing that July wanted Frenchie and Sedona so bad, and he'd given them a loving home.  I walked back into the panel room, and quickly was forced to wipe my tears.  I'll have to cry about it later.  I had to prepare for a show that evening.

Love you, Frenchie!