Showing posts with label George Carlin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George Carlin. Show all posts

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I Can Do "Stupid" All By Myself!

So I'm at the station today, and for some reason, like any other human being I was just having a rough time. I made silly errors. First mistake:  A song was ending, and all I have to do is hit the button to play the next song.  I hit the button hard, but I missed and broke a nail at the skin!  OUCH!  Now the song was one or two seconds late, which according to Radioland is NOT good.  Second mistake:  I studdered more than once.  Everyone trips over their words, but a radio DJ?  It is not considered cool.  A good radio personality speaks with conviction, quickly and concisely...That was the LEAST of my problems, ready?

I complete my shift, and get outside to where it seems the rain refuses to die.  I start the car, place my purse on the side, put my cell phone in its holder, pop the trunk to put my headphones away, and I get out of the car. 

Here's where I did "Stupid" all by myself:  I leave the door wide open, and the wind thinks to itself, "You know what would be funny?" The wind blows hard.  So hard, my door closes shut!  The door is locked with the car running, the keys inside with my purse and cell phone...all without ME!!  

 NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I try opening the car several times, willing it open, thinking if I just keep trying it will magically open.  It's just like when we lose something...George Carlin, the late great comedian, said in his act that when we lose things we keep searching the same spot over and over again, as if it will magically reappear.

I would LOVE to call for help, but my cell phone is inside my car! Thank God for the security guard who made a call for me.  Thirty minutes later, after what was supposed to have been 10 minutes, the locksmith appears in an Hungarian accent.  He smiles, and before he opens the car...he KNOWS he has the power.  He tells me:  "Miss, this gonna be $75."  Sure, that's not a problem, but wait, there's more!!! "Miss, and another $125 to open it."  WHAAAT?!  Then he turns the knife into my back even harder:  "Miss, we take cash only...it's weekend, we charge double."  Yeah..right...I'm sure.  He's lucky I was wet and cold - otherwise I would've truly gone Bronx Puerto Rican on him, if you know what I mean.  In other words, he would've been giving me $200 in cash when I was done with him.

Well, I'm home now.  I guess that's all that counts!  We all do it.  We leave the iron on...we can't remember if we locked the door...and yes, we even lock ourselves out. It's not a life-altering blog today, people, just wanted to check in and reassure you how human I am!!!