Woke up deciding that it was going to be a great day. Yesterday was done...today is a new day to decide to be happy; to decide to have no drama; and to decide that I'm good enough to have this video release party no matter what my weight happens to be. I do admit, once in a while, I could hear in my head..."when they see the video, all they're going to see is your weight." But each time it buzzed into my head, I swatted the crap out of it! Dead-blood & guts all over the place!!
The entire day as about tying loose ends: Packing to stay over my friend's house, deciding which shoes to wear, washing the car, making a last minute stop at the mall, stopping at Pearl Lounge to be sure the tv moinitors were set up, the dvd's were working & to ensure the temperature was good. It was a bit warm, but a staff member had just opened the place & promised that by the evening the place would be an ice box. For the first time I ate at Chipotle...yum, lol. It was 4:50pm by the time I was driving to my friend's house. Wait. What am I going to say tonight? Okay-I had to write a small speech. By the time I arrived to David Miskin's house and wrote the speech, it was time to dress. I took a shower, changed, hair, make-up, nerves kicking in. I was shaking inside a little bit, but I LOVED my dress! LOL. It was a deep -jeweled, teal colored Calvin Klein dress. I love it because although it's simple, it flatters. I have NEVER bought myself a designer dress, lol...I know you don't believe me, but it's true.
It was 7:48pm when we jumped in a cab to the city. On our way over, I asked David, "Do you think we'll have a full house? Do you think people from the industry will really come? Do you think my mom will like the video? Do you think people will react to the video when we show it?" Of course he responded with a yes on all counts. And that's when I realized...shoot, I'm nervous. We arrived almost at 8:30pm, and immediately the music director of KTU, Bartel was outside, along with Cary Vance from Promo Only and John Parker of Parker Recordings - three very instrumental people in the music industry. I looked to my right and my younger sister was there. I was elated. Wait. Then my manager was walking in behind me. I knew in a second I wasn't upset with him anymore. Hm, I thought, I look good, and don't even try to change my mind about it! LOL.
It was a FULL house. The music was going! the place was packed with people buzzing, laughing, chatting, drinking and eating. It was also very, very HOT! Oh, my God, did we melt the ice caps of the north pole? It was almost like stepping onto the surface of the sun. But there was not much we could do. We were told the air conditioning was turned up to the maximum. I looked around, and immediately I had to work the room and thank every single person for coming...My friends, the production crew & their friends, people from the industry - it was a great turn out! Even Kayel, Los and Thirteen from TKA/K7 & Swing Kids and CNR from Trilogy showed up. They made me feel incredibly special by being there. The only thing I felt bad about was that I was unable to sit and speak with anyone for more than 20 seconds. No one really had quality time with me. We were going to begin screening around 9:15pm or so, but it was SO hot, I didn't think people would be patient enough.
So at 9:00 Luis Loca, the coordinator of the evening, introduced me. The crowd cheered and I thanked everyone! You should know that most of the time, one's record label would finance your video, but that's only if they are sure it's a HIT or if it is in the budget...lol..you guessed it. Nope, not in the budget. That wasn't my story, so we all decided to work on it on our own, and my manager wanted it done. So I explained that it was done with an incredibly small budget and financed by someone who didn't even really know me well, but believed in me wholeheartedly: the producer, Terence Osborne. I also explained, and you should know this too, that the majority of our production crew was made up of college students. You HAVE to allow younger people with no experience the opportunity to gain experience!! As a matter of fact, the director of photography, Erik Spink was only 20 years old..and he did a magnificent job!
"...And so...without further adieu, here it is: the video of Stay. Roll it." We first showed the behind the scenes documentary and it was SO MUCH FUN! The production crew had their friends there and it was wonderful hearing each and every person receive applause and acknowledgement for their work. After that, we showed the video...and
MY HEART WAS POUNDING IN MY THROAT!!!
Would people like it? Would my manager be right that all people would notice is my weight gain? What about the bedroom scene..would people take me seriously or would they tell me I had no business being in bed with anyone on camera? Would they appreciate my acting? We only had 2 vases for the take where I break the vase in a fit of anger, and have a breakdown on screen...could I cry on cue? All these questions were stabbing my stomach. And for each section of the video, I heard people clapping, laughing, oohing and aahing...and I knew it was a good thing. Whew...it was done & I could breathe again. I gave out crystal awards to Erik Spink, director of photography; Terence Osborne, producer; Gio Alonso, stylist, Javier Rosa, make-up & hair and David Miskin, director. And of course, when I gave David's award I cried. And, David offered me not a tissue but an entire roll of paper towels. (It's an ongoing private joke that I cry so much sometimes I need the whole roll.) David, from day one, has believed that I'm a star, like a serious future grammy award-winning, broadway starring star! He has been a life line to me. Whenever I've wanted to give up on myself, he wouldn't let me! It was his idea to do this video and without his determination that we would do it, and do it right, I wouldn't be writing about it now. I'm really proud of our work, and I'm really happy that with almost nothing, we created something...and it is magical...and it was God looking out for all of us.
I ended the evening dancing, talking, sweating and smiling feeling accomplished. Oh, yea by the way, I did drink - but I did NOT get drunk...I watched people get drunk for me...it was way more fun. The music industry looks at how many views you have on youtube, how many friends you have on facebook and how many followers you have on Twitter...when you watch the video - should you find that you like it, as a personal favor to me, please post it on your pages...maybe this artist veteran of 24 years on an independent recording label could finally make it major and "STAY" in this great business of music that I SO love!!