Less than one week from the release of the video for my latest single, Stay. It's already received over 5,000 views on YouTube. And the video has caused quite a stir. Stay was originally recorded by country duo, Sugarland; written by it's lead singer, Jennifer Nettles in 2007. From Wikipedia, here is the concept of how Jennifer Nettles wrote the song:
"Stay" is a ballad of infidelity, taking the perspective of the mistress of a man who is cheating on his wife. It begins with the mistress's insistence that the man stay with her — even if his wife should call and ask where he is — because she (the mistress) is "so tired of being lonely". Although the man tells her that he will leave his wife for her, she refuses to believe him, telling him that "it's too much pain to have to bear / To love a man you have to share".
In the third verse, the mistress then changes her mind; according to Nettles, she (the woman in the song) "has her own sense of redemption and realizes she deserves more than being with someone who will never be fully hers". This change is revealed in the final chorus:
Why don't you stay?
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay?
I saw Ms. Nettles sing this song on the Grammy Awards and I couldn't believe this woman's INCREDIBLE voice. I was further moved by the amazing talent in the lyrics...for her to begin the song with the woman asking him to stay, and ending in the song telling him to stay (with the wife)..well, I was just amazed! No one had ever written like that before. SO I wanted to record it with a dance vibe and give it my own spin. In her original video, (an incredible one, I might add), it is just her and the gentleman from Sugarland behind her...simple. Just her and her raw emotions...it's one of MY favorite videos because it takes a brave person to expose her emotions on camera like that. If it were up to me, I would've done the video just like that, but I didn't want to copy it. So - we had the idea to give the new video a story line!! Well, apparently, telling the story wasn't right.
I've been reading people's comments & most people GET IT! The other woman realizes she's being an idiot about her choices, and actually CHANGES her mind. In my version of the video, I made it clear that the woman packs his stuff and locks him out of her life; she changes her mind - takes her power back, relcaims her life. LOL...Yet there are comments accusing me of condoning this behavior. I am not doing so, but I did want to do this video for so many reasons. I did it because I love the message of the song, because I'm hoping the video will give women in this position the guts to leave & stop. I also did this to prove something. Yes, sometimes women in this situation do it on purpose. But I believe that most of the women in this situation are complicatedly (is that a word?), lacking self-esteem. Somewhere in their life they lack confidence; somewhere in their life they were treated second fiddle to someone else and have "learned" that they don't deserve to be #1 in someone else's life...so they allow themselves to be #2. I wanted to humanize her, if just for a second...not so people could feel sorry for her, but just so that people could "see" the story through her eyes. How she got herself in the situation is not important - how she gets hersslf out is the deeper message here.
And, um, not one person spoke of the cheating husband.!!! Remember, I don't care if the woman has a perfect body and shows up naked...the husband is in TOTAL control of how he responds to it. By the way, lol...there are a few people who think this is my story...that Waseem Khawaja, the guy who plays my love interest, is really my boyfriend, and are telling me that they feel bad for me! LOL...he is NOT my boyfriend. And, no, I am not in this position either, lol. I did cry, however, in during the filming of the video, as I did think about the times in my life, where I allowed a man to treat me as a trivial option instead of a first priority. So in that way I COMPLETELY relate.
To those of you in this position: Please let the video serve as a message to warn you that you will have nothing but heartache if you STAY. For those of you not in this situation: heed my words...it is when you sit in judgment of others' behavior that sometimes life will put you in a situation where others will one day judge you. You don't have to condone it - Judge not lest you be judged...Right??
Why do people STAY? They are afraid. They don't think they can do better. They don't think anyone else will love them. They don't know how to be alone. They are used to the drama. They believe the lies they are served. They hold on to fantasy. Please watch the video again, and leave your thoughts here. I welcome ALL of your comments here and/or on Youtube-let's keep the conversation going!!