Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Lots of wonderful things happening in my life lately. Last week we announced the arrival of my newborn niece, Kassidy! I was offered a role in My Big Gay Italian Wedding, which I am SO excited about because theater is a secret passion of mine that not too many know about! The role literally landed on my lap, thanks to Kim Sozzi...don't know what she said, but I think she's a little angel in my life. And the song I recorded with Tony Moran, I Wanna Spend My Lifetime Loving You, is just about ready for release....and looks like the Quiet One is also a gift.

It was Memorial Day Weekend, and he asked me out on a date for Saturday. He showed up with a very pretty bouquet of flowers (that's a sweet, gentleman thing right there, and they are still alive today!) I let him know that I generally am the type of person who loves doing new things, trying new things, and I love nature. It was a gorgeous weekend...and so when he came to pick me up, we decided to drive to "my cliff". It's not really mine, but it sure feels like it. It's a small scenic view on the Palisade Parkway...but if you are willing to walk far enough, you can literally walk to the edge of a cliff...it's my favorite spot in the world. It allows me to feel like I went somewhere, even when I can't afford the time for a vacation. I love the beautiful view of the Hudson River, the height of the cliff and I love that if I go at the right time - I can see the hawks scout their last meal of the day.

So the Quiet One and I stood on the cliff and talked literally for a few hours...originally I thought we'd walk the trail, but it seemed pretty natural to stay there...and that's the most striking thing about him...he's very easy going and it feels natural to just "be" with him. We brought a couple of slices of pizza with us and found a rock because when we first arrived there was a couple there using my cliff to work out an issue in their relationship. I figured I'd let them borrow my cliff. Once they left, it was literally ours and ours alone...not one human showed up for hours, and when they did, it was just to take a photo and they were gone as quickly as they'd shown up. We talked about our past relationships, our mistakes, our desires...and he'd told me about some unfinished business in his life. Unfinished business can really make it difficult for a relationship to really have a chance. So we decided we'd take things slow...slow is always good. If you go too fast, you miss the details.

Afterward, we decided to go to the movies and saw the Hangover II. It was the first time I had heard him laugh out loud, and I loved listening. Laughing is a release, it's letting it all out...and listening to him laugh was adorably cute. I found myself laughing out loud pretty hard myself, and I realized it had been ages since I'd seen a comedy. I am a drama-suspense-Oscar Nominated-movie kind of girl, lol. We held hands the entire time, and he was stroking my knee. Normally that would irritate the crap out of me, but it was wonderful. In fact so wonderful that I had to have him stop, Too soon for those kind of feelings.

We ended the evening with dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, and I have to say that the Quiet One has wonderful and intelligent things to say. He's not so quiet. I guess he was right when he said he is only quiet when first getting to know someone. I really love the tone in his voice...it's very soothing, and he's got the most innocent smile. And you know in every relationship there will always be a challenge, right? Okay here's our issue... Correction. Here's MY issue.

I asked him, "By the way, how old are you?"
"Why? How old are you?"
I told him I was 54...and he was silent for a second and then I laughed. I thought if I said 54 first and then told him the truth that I was 42, it wouldn't hurt so much, lol.

I'm older than he is.
He's younger than I am.

Ah the age old question: "Is it okay for an older woman to date a younger man?" As long as he's of legal age, the answer is simple...YES. It is just fine. However, because I'm in this wonderful music business that is forever trying to tell me that I'm old, ancient...no longer marketable, etc...my age is, well, on my mind. If a man is older than a woman, no one even thinks to say anything about it. But if it is a woman dating a younger man, well, heads will turn! And before she can even speak, she's being called a cougar. I know your question: Well how big of an age difference are we talking about here? Okay. Ready? 12 years - I am 12 years his senior. (No pun intended). 12 years older than him. I have 12 years more life experience, 624 weeks, 4,380 days older than him. So, does it bother me? If I were 35, perhaps not. But I'm 42, turning 43 on June 13th...does he realize how older I am? I just found my first gray hair on the left side of my head a few months ago, and I had NO NO NO NO idea that the pubic hair can go gray too!!! OH MY GOD!! Whyyyyyy????!!!!

We had a long discussion about it. I told him that in a few years I will be menopausal...as in hot flashes, vaginal dryness etc...I will not be able to bear children....and that eventually my boobs are going to give in to gravity...does he realize what he's signing up for? In addition to that, because I have multiple sclerosis, I would have to plan having a child if that's what we wanted to do. And then it really hit me. Holy crap!! He's the same age as my youngest brother...he could date my sister!!! Oh, I need to sit down!! What was his answer? "Your sister is not you!" The Quiet One insisted that he does not care at all about the age difference. I informed him that I don't have a problem with him being younger than me; I have a problem with me being older than him. I also told him that if this were to become serious, I'm looking for the one...not Mr. Right Now. I told him that I don't want to worry about pressure to look younger to ensure that he won't have some torrid affair with a younger woman years down the line. He just laughed at me. Yea, I'm sure I sounded pretty ridiculous, but those are my genuine concerns.

He walked me to my door. He told me that he thinks Im' beautiful, sexy. He told me he doesn't care about my age. I should mention that he is divorced with children...so in that aspect he has more life experience on me, lol. The Quiet One also told me that he feels there could be something very special here, and he's okay with the age difference. He said he wants to be with a woman who will make him happy...and he kissed me. And it was wonderful...very wonderful. Too wonderful. Whoo. Okay, stop. Good night. The Quiet One is a wonderful date...and a good kisser!! And I seem to have "Demi-Moore-itis!"


  1. Hi Judy: How are you sweetness? I'm sooooo happy for you that the "Quite One" is making you happy/smile and feel good about you. He seems like a very special man. I hope he's the one. Your concerns are qenuine and real today type of issues. Nothing wrong with expressing yourself. What you need, feel and want out of a relationship should be understood from both partners. The problem with relationships today is that they don't take the time to communicate. People are to busy trying to play one another. AHHHHH!!! The Palisade cliffs. Love them!!! I'm very fimilar with them. I pass their every Friday to go to my upstate house for the weekend. Great way to relax, forget the city etc, for a moment. The view is breath taking. As for age difference it would bother me a bit as well. I don't think I would let it stop me from seeing if the relationship can work. Having kids in today's world is a challenge in general but if you both want it there are way of making it happen. He does have a career and good head on his shoulder. Live, laugh, Love. We are on borrowed time. Enjoy every moment you can with one another. Let the relationship take its course. If it's meant to be it will be. For now it feels good. Have fun with him. You are a vey special woman. Your beautiful, talented, and have a heart of GOLD. He should know who blessed he is to have you. Don't forget how awesome you are. I love you and wish you all the best.

  2. Hi Judy,
    First you are NOT OLD!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!! Yes you are almost 43 but YOU LOOK in your MID 30s!!!!!!!!! Just like I just turned age 55 but HAPILY look in my mid 30s too(some even say I look 30-32 lol)..By the way not everyone gets hot flashes- I fortunately get them sporadically NOT EVERY DAY OR EVERY WEEK!!!
    I agree with Connie- enjoy the time with him AND heed YOUR OWN WORDS--- GO SLOW!!!!!!!!! REAL SLOW!!!! I don’t want you to get hurt again!!

    Ask about his kids – ages, personality, likes/ dislikes.. ask about current news events- his views… ask about his travels and favorite vacations past and future.. favorite foods.. favorite music!!!.. START NEURTRAL SUBJECT conversations…ask about his childhood.. did he go to summer camp or worked etc.. so much to find out about him ..

    I do wish you lots of luck and PATIENCE…We loyal fans know what he is getting .. but you still need to delve deeper into what you are getting..

    Love always and forever
    Leslie (Versace) showing my love and pride for those sunglasses!!! LOL

  3. lol you are too funny!! reading your blogs are ALWAYS a joy for me because i love them so much! if i read them before i go to sleep, it's like a bedtime story for me lol so you know i'm waiting for your book. Quiet One sounds like a true gentleman and total sweetheart. it looks like i can overcome whether i'm older or not than the guy i'm dating then. you have opened my eyes to just let go and live lol. i have the same feeling as you, will they call me a cradle robber? lol but as always said, age ain't nothing but a number. i can not tell you how happy i am for you that you have someone that's keeping you happy. are you sure there's no mini version in the 20's of him?? lol i'm playing (no really tho is there? lmao)i'm also super happy for you for the offer of a role in "My Big Gay Italian Wedding"!! congrats!! i will make sure i am able to see it. congrats on your role, happy for you and the Quiet One, and i wish for more awesome things to come your way! (i know they will) :)

  4. Judy...my face was in a daze, but I felt relieved and happy because I like a guy that is also younger then me (33) and he (20 some) does not know it yet. Lets start by saying that he just graduated from college and just started working with a major hotel line AND to make matters more interesting HE ALSO PARTNERED UP WITH MY TEAM OF DISTRIBUTORS in which my brother and my good friend are his training and management directors. Anyhow, we know each other because of business, but also my team and I have met his mother who is a very nice lady. With that said very very simple----I think he is cute, smart, and kind (he is good to his mother). I have 3 teenagers and have been working for more then 15 years---including the fact that I am still attending college on a part-time basis and I raised my children along with my family. Anyhow, with facts out of the way every time he is around I feel that I like him, but respect that we are doing business together. So back to you Judy, I completely understand your story and how lucky you are to have kissed the Quiet One---sounds yummy:) I hope to go to your cliff one day too w/ my Quiet One :) until then I will wait and see what could be---right?

  5. Im over here cracking up because I love to encourage love no matter what the age difference or no matter differences there are point blank. When it comes to myself I have this ingrained issue with age if I am the one that is older lmao. The issue is quite ridiculous because even if a man is a year younger I hate it. I do not know why but I hate it. But deep inside I want something good and I want to shed all that crap so your reaction made me realize how I sound to my best friend except that Im a step from falling off a cliff from how insance my peeve with age is. Good luck...I hope the quiet one turns out to be the one. I definately think you were meant to meet him because he is impacting your perceptions in ways that will prepare you for the one...whether its him or not. :-)

  6. Brenda, lol...I'm glad I'm not alone in the younger thing, lol...thank you all for commenting...this means SO much to me to have your support and be a sound voice in my head!! Love you!

  7. Wow, thanks Judy :) I think you are AWSOME and to keep you updated on "the younger one"---I still have a crush on him and he still does not know it:(.I'm not ready to tell him yet, but when I do it will be in a very sincere way, not in a desperate way right? Give me some pointers on this because I need some kind of direction on this since I already feel as if I'm "too young" for him.