Lots of wonderful things happening in my life lately. Last week we announced the arrival of my newborn niece, Kassidy! I was offered a role in My Big Gay Italian Wedding, which I am SO excited about because theater is a secret passion of mine that not too many know about! The role literally landed on my lap, thanks to Kim Sozzi...don't know what she said, but I think she's a little angel in my life. And the song I recorded with Tony Moran, I Wanna Spend My Lifetime Loving You, is just about ready for release....and looks like the Quiet One is also a gift.
It was Memorial Day Weekend, and he asked me out on a date for Saturday. He showed up with a very pretty bouquet of flowers (that's a sweet, gentleman thing right there, and they are still alive today!) I let him know that I generally am the type of person who loves doing new things, trying new things, and I love nature. It was a gorgeous weekend...and so when he came to pick me up, we decided to drive to "my cliff". It's not really mine, but it sure feels like it. It's a small scenic view on the Palisade Parkway...but if you are willing to walk far enough, you can literally walk to the edge of a cliff...it's my favorite spot in the world. It allows me to feel like I went somewhere, even when I can't afford the time for a vacation. I love the beautiful view of the Hudson River, the height of the cliff and I love that if I go at the right time - I can see the hawks scout their last meal of the day.
So the Quiet One and I stood on the cliff and talked literally for a few hours...originally I thought we'd walk the trail, but it seemed pretty natural to stay there...and that's the most striking thing about him...he's very easy going and it feels natural to just "be" with him. We brought a couple of slices of pizza with us and found a rock because when we first arrived there was a couple there using my cliff to work out an issue in their relationship. I figured I'd let them borrow my cliff. Once they left, it was literally ours and ours alone...not one human showed up for hours, and when they did, it was just to take a photo and they were gone as quickly as they'd shown up. We talked about our past relationships, our mistakes, our desires...and he'd told me about some unfinished business in his life. Unfinished business can really make it difficult for a relationship to really have a chance. So we decided we'd take things slow...slow is always good. If you go too fast, you miss the details.
Afterward, we decided to go to the movies and saw the Hangover II. It was the first time I had heard him laugh out loud, and I loved listening. Laughing is a release, it's letting it all out...and listening to him laugh was adorably cute. I found myself laughing out loud pretty hard myself, and I realized it had been ages since I'd seen a comedy. I am a drama-suspense-Oscar Nominated-movie kind of girl, lol. We held hands the entire time, and he was stroking my knee. Normally that would irritate the crap out of me, but it was wonderful. In fact so wonderful that I had to have him stop, Too soon for those kind of feelings.
We ended the evening with dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, and I have to say that the Quiet One has wonderful and intelligent things to say. He's not so quiet. I guess he was right when he said he is only quiet when first getting to know someone. I really love the tone in his voice...it's very soothing, and he's got the most innocent smile. And you know in every relationship there will always be a challenge, right? Okay here's our issue... Correction. Here's MY issue.
I asked him, "By the way, how old are you?"
"Why? How old are you?"
I told him I was 54...and he was silent for a second and then I laughed. I thought if I said 54 first and then told him the truth that I was 42, it wouldn't hurt so much, lol.
I'm older than he is.
He's younger than I am.
Ah the age old question: "Is it okay for an older woman to date a younger man?" As long as he's of legal age, the answer is simple...YES. It is just fine. However, because I'm in this wonderful music business that is forever trying to tell me that I'm old, ancient...no longer marketable, etc...my age is, well, on my mind. If a man is older than a woman, no one even thinks to say anything about it. But if it is a woman dating a younger man, well, heads will turn! And before she can even speak, she's being called a cougar. I know your question: Well how big of an age difference are we talking about here? Okay. Ready? 12 years - I am 12 years his senior. (No pun intended). 12 years older than him. I have 12 years more life experience, 624 weeks, 4,380 days older than him. So, does it bother me? If I were 35, perhaps not. But I'm 42, turning 43 on June 13th...does he realize how older I am? I just found my first gray hair on the left side of my head a few months ago, and I had NO NO NO NO idea that the pubic hair can go gray too!!! OH MY GOD!! Whyyyyyy????!!!!
We had a long discussion about it. I told him that in a few years I will be menopausal...as in hot flashes, vaginal dryness etc...I will not be able to bear children....and that eventually my boobs are going to give in to gravity...does he realize what he's signing up for? In addition to that, because I have multiple sclerosis, I would have to plan having a child if that's what we wanted to do. And then it really hit me. Holy crap!! He's the same age as my youngest brother...he could date my sister!!! Oh, I need to sit down!! What was his answer? "Your sister is not you!" The Quiet One insisted that he does not care at all about the age difference. I informed him that I don't have a problem with him being younger than me; I have a problem with me being older than him. I also told him that if this were to become serious, I'm looking for the one...not Mr. Right Now. I told him that I don't want to worry about pressure to look younger to ensure that he won't have some torrid affair with a younger woman years down the line. He just laughed at me. Yea, I'm sure I sounded pretty ridiculous, but those are my genuine concerns.
He walked me to my door. He told me that he thinks Im' beautiful, sexy. He told me he doesn't care about my age. I should mention that he is divorced with children...so in that aspect he has more life experience on me, lol. The Quiet One also told me that he feels there could be something very special here, and he's okay with the age difference. He said he wants to be with a woman who will make him happy...and he kissed me. And it was wonderful...very wonderful. Too wonderful. Whoo. Okay, stop. Good night. The Quiet One is a wonderful date...and a good kisser!! And I seem to have "Demi-Moore-itis!"