Friday, June 24, 2011

HE'S GOOD WITH HIS HANDS TOO? Oh, my!!! (Blushing)

Looks like my career may be at a crossroads for the first time in a LONG time. The next blog will most likely be called "Changes"...major changes it looks like. But I don't want to blog about it, until I have certain questions answered. If I don't have the answers, I surely will not be able to answer the ones you'll be left with as well. career is GREAT nonetheless and I'm excited to see new things develop, and very curious to see how I will be proactive about things in my life!

So the Quiet One and I went out on another date. We were invited to one of his friend's barbeque. We arrived and the sun was BLAZING!! It can always be a little awkward when you go to a party not knowing a soul. The tendency is to cling on to the date who brought you there in the first place. But thankfully, I am normally a bit of a social ladybug, and I enjoy breaking the ice.

At the backyard barbeque there were about twelve people or so, and you could tell that everyone knew everyone else. I began introducing myself to everyone and gave the hostess orchids - orchids last 2-3 weeks longer than a bouquet of roses, and are exotic too...nice!! I ate right away because I hadn't eaten since the morning, and we all began to make small talk. For the most part, everyone's eyes were sincere, and I was VERY grateful that no one treated me like "Judy Torres"...but there was one young woman there who gave me a strange "vibe"' not a bad, catty one, just a vibe.

As the day progressed, I played a little psychology game that I learned in college, and I find it to be a GREAT way to have people laugh, especially in party situations. I did discover later on, that the woman who gave me the strange vibe actually has had a crush on the Quiet One for many years. I can't blame her, if I just kew him as a friend, I'd have a crush on him too. After a few hours, I began to get a headache, and I think it was due to lack of sleep and too much sun beating my brow! So, we left and when Quiet One walked me upstairs, he noticed how warm it was in my apartment - yes, he came in, lol. You naughty-minded people, it wasn't like that. Anyway, he asked me about my air conditioner.

Ah, that one little thing I had been procrastinating about. Last year I purchased an air conditioner large enough to cool off my entire home, and it took three men to install it for me. For obvious reasons, I could not possibly put it back into the window alone. He asked to see it, so I placed the air conditioner on a towel and dragged it to him. Yes, I know, I is a ghetto thing to do, but hey, it was remarkably heavy and I didn't want him going into that room, lol.

So I helped him lift it to the window sill, and he told me he'd handle it from there. And handle it, he did!!! I watched him not just install it, but he was quite the perfectionist about it. It was more than heavy, and it was SO hot. The beads of sweat began to trickle down his forehead and down his back, and I watched as he meticulously placed, and pushed until it was perfectly set. He screwed it in (pun intended - just to make you smile & NO it's not what you think) - But hey, I am human...I do have my own thoughts and fantasies...a girl can dream, right? I thanked him profusely. It was wonderful and such a relief to know that I didn't have to sleep one more night in humidity.

Fastforward one week later...
The Quiet One heard me complaining about my printer. I told him I needed to get it fixed. Of course he wanted to take a look at it. And of course, I didn't fight him about it either. He was on the floor, removing parts of the printer, getting black ink on his hands...and not even 10 minutes later, he said, "Okay, print something." And I heard the musical sounds of the printer telling me it was back in business.

Yes, yes, I sounds all so simple. To you, perhaps you may think 'that's what a man is SUPPOSED to do', but to me, first of all never take anything for granted, and secondly, I live alone. Anything and everything that needs to be repaired, replaced, purchased, lifted, put away, always up to me. And it has been hard. I've lived on my own since I was 19. I'm 43. You do the's been a long road, lol.

Dating the Quiet One has made me rethink so many things about my life, what my ideas about dating are. Dating him has made me wonder if I've been a bit wrong about what I thought I needed versus what I really need. I've looked back and thought of the men in my past - the dazzling smiles, the suits, their charisma...yes, it was all good looking and loud...but for the most part, it was fake. It was temporary. It was only for show. It was only so they could gain what they wanted. Yes, we all put our best feet forward in relationships, but how much of it is essentially who we really are.

Watching the Quiet One put up my air conditioner and repair my printer has been a real eye opener. He's made me see that all I really want in a man is for him to CARE about what I NEED to be happy. And I'm not high maintenance...if I want a purse, I'll buy a purse. If I want shoes, I'll buy shoes...I need a man to LOVE me, to ADORE me, to LIFT me up...I need to feel like someone's favorite person. That's it. And so far, the Quiet One does that for me. He's got a gorgeous smile that is so freaking sincere, even if you smacked it off him, it would still be there. His eyes are genuinely sweet, his voice is soothing and he's just a real guy. I think of Sex and the City..and I think of when Carrie was dating Aiden, the furniture designer. He was handsome, sweet, sincere...he was a relationship guy. He allowed Carrie to be her ritzy self, but he never tried too hard...he just was there, ready to love her. Okay, let me stop...I feel like going to On Demand and watching a few episodes.

You know when you have something wrong with your home...something very small and because it's not major, you allow the problem to continue? You know that little stain on the carpet, or that small crack inte ceiling. Well, I have had a little problem with my bathroom door not closing all the way. Since I live alone, it's not a big deal, right? But when people come over, suddenly I remember, damn, I gotta get that fixed. Well, The Quiet One obviously noticed this and two days ago, he came over - tools and!!...and fixed my door. I went inside and closed the door. And I had tears in my eyes. I know, I know...I'm a sensitive one, I really am, but wow...that door was an issue for a LONG time.

We've been dating just over a month now. The Quiet One has stepped into my life and put up my air conditioner, fixed my printer and repaired my door...he's also made me feel special and seems to be fixing my ideas of what I'd want in a partner. He is GREAT with his hands...watching a man fix something is very very sexy! What can I say? Oh, have I mentioned he's a great kisser. He lets me be me. The Quiet One is the first man I've worn the least amount of make up with. He says I am sexy no matter what I wear, make up or no make up. I hope he really means that because there are mornings I wake up looking like some indigenous creature raised in the jungle, Unga Unga!! So, if you're single, take a second look at what you THINK you want and ask what it is you may find your answers VERY surprising! there anything else I can find that needs fixing?? LOL...Thank you, Quiet've been such a blessing!!


  1. I want one of him!!! That's so awesome Judy...he seems to be so sweet and sincere and to like you for YOU. Just what you been hoping for!!! I hope things continue to go good for you in your personal life as well as all the great things happening in your professional life. I'm very proud of you and all that you do. I wish nothing but the best for you chica~ you DESERVE it! Lots of love and good vibes to you Miss Judy. Bless!! xx Bub

  2. Love it, Love it, Love's all in the details and he is def paying attention to them and that is a wonderful thing!!! I would have reacted the same way you did, simple things like that mean the world to me. Material items have their place, and we all love to be pampered but those "details" are the best! Continued blessings with him, signed: Marilyn - aka "Fan of the Quiet One" :) LOL

  3. just wrote something that I experienced and felt for a long time. I had a similar experience where this man just came into my life fixing things, building things and making things comfortable. Not lavish and no money throwing but a focus on what I needed that I never in my entire life experienced. There are men that spend (I had one of those) but somehow you just have more of the Barbie doll feeling than that of a woman... but when a man has an eye for what you need as opposed to just giving you anything it makes you feel special because they are not just treating you nie...they are paying attention. I am also turned out by men that are nice with their hands the same way you just described I mean. Now I know Im not nuts! Thank you for writing what my heart feels :-) It shows that no one is alone in any given feeling.

  4. lol I know what you mean... Glad to hear you are happy lady! Continued to be blessed! xoxo

  5. LATIN FREESTYLE: always make me laugh. I will ask if there is a clone of him for sure,but I have a feeling he's one of a kind! Muah!

    MARILYN, you said it,'s in the details! Thank u for commenting!

    JEWEL FROM ATHENS: You hit it on the's the attention that matters...thank you so much! xoxo

    QUEENDEE93! Thank you so much! xoxo

  6. Judy I truly love your blogs. You never hide who you are. Your blog about the quiet one was a good one for me. I have been trying to date but come across the losers. Im always asked, what do I want in a man? I list my things and lately have begun to wonder if what I want and what I need is a reason to my failed dating life.
    I have been looking at things differently and hoping the right person will come my way when its time...and he will have all the qualities I need and not what I want.
    Good Luck with the QO, Im happy to see your dating and professional life is finally going where it should be.

  7. i will admit this, (and i never do if i am) but i am quite jealous of you! lol i can not stop asking this but please tell me there's one of him in the twenty's, (my limit is 25) lol but all in all i'm extremely happy for you. you have great things going for you and you have a great guy, and you deserve it all chica. your blogs are great to read because they help me in a way. it's like i'm getting lessons from a great professor. thanks for all the great lessons professor!! lol

  8. Bravo! I'm so happy for you! You deserve the best.