Tuesday, May 24, 2011


If you read my most recent blog, you will know that I had my first date in almost 7 months! I have named the man I met at Euro Lounge, The Quiet One. He simply had a quiet nature to him, and sometimes because of all the "noise" in my life, that is what I can be drawn to.

I never get my hopes too high because in my past, I have been stood up MANY times...so I now always have plan B in case the date falls apart. The plan was to go to the movies if he canceled. So we had textedback and forth and had a couple of conversations and then one day, I received a text: "...I liked that you had a good time & that i was a part of your blog. Pretty cool!"


He read my blog???? Damn. I had no idea - not too many men even follow my blog, lol. I don't think I told him about it. Either way, that meant that he knew about my panic attack when I thought he was leaving without asking for my number. Quiet One told me he didn't ask because he assumed that everyone asks for my number. Remember the show Odd Couple? Oscar told Felix in one episode, "Never assume anything - because when you assume. You make an ass=(out of) u + me!" I never forgot that line...never. It struck me for a second that perhaps that's why no one asks me for my number. Do other men think that about me too? Hm, wonder.

Saturday had arrived & I was performing in my current hometown, Jersey City for the Everything Jersey City Festival...it was going to be a long day because I sang with Mirage for a wedding the day before until 1am. I knew I would be tired and was a little concerned about the beating my voice would be taking, but the show must go on. So I woke up Saturday, went to Zumba class. Did I mention I'm obsessively addicted to it? I am. Love it! Okay, so I went to zumba. Got home, had a cup of coffee and a croissant. Took a shower. Went to the festival. I went on about a quarter after 5=Latino time - which meant I was scheduled to go on at 5pm sharp. I had a lot of support at the show. My best friend, Brenda, filled in as a road manager because my road manager, David, was away on military leave. Three of my zumba classmates showed up, Vickie Deleo & Leslie Guttenplan - regulars on my facebook page and MAJOR supporters of my career were there too. I knew it was Leslie's birthday the next day, so as a gift I gave her my one & only pair of designer sunglasses (Versace, sigh)...I wanted to give her something meaningful, and believe me...they were the only designer anything I owned - so they meant a lot.

On stage, I was very happy! I am mostly happy onstage. I cannot describe this well, but since I talk so much, I am going to try. Looking out into the crowd, I know there are people in the audience who cannot afford to go see a show, so something like this means a lot to them. And I can almost tell which people they are. And then I see the children's eyes...so full of wonderment..as if I'm a magical creature...and I always see it as an opportunity to remind them to go after their dreams. And then there are the smiles. Scattered smiles in the crowd: some of them are just enjoying the show, some smiles are proud smiles and then there are the ones I cannot interpret, but I feel like I'm receiving hundreds of silent blessings at once.

After the show, there were so many people wanting to take pictures and get autographs. There wasn't any order at all, lol. So I made an announcement: "Okay, this is the deal. I will take pictures with EVERYONE. I will not leave until the last person is done. So please be patient and don't trample each other, ok? Children first." And that was it...a VERY mature crowd...I really was proud to see that in my own neighborhood. I took pics, signed autographs, talked to people...I was there for about another hour.

And then I flew home to get ready for my date with the Quiet One. He was actually at the show, but I didn't see him...and I knew it was his first time seeing me perform (another plus because he had no pre-conceived notion about me). For the first time, I didn't invite "the new guy" in my life to come with me to a show. I think I let them in far too early. Then I end up feeling used in some way or another that I exposed the most sacred part of my life to someone not deserving of it. Oddly enough, I think he's the one I should have invited, lol. We had agreed to meet at a certain time...and then while I was in the shower...Oh, shoot! I forgot to give hime the address. LOL...he can't pick me up if he doesn't know where he's going.

When the Quiet One picked me up, he was standing outside his car. It was then I realized that, wow, people do look different in day light. I met him in a dark lounge. I want to be clear about this. He is still handsome in daylight and in the nighttime, lol...I just didn't realize the crystal blue eyes! Nice! By the way, I'll get this out of the way now. Yes, I'm older than him...but NO NO NO...I am not a cougar. LOL. Promise. (He's not in his 20s - let's put it that way.) As we were on our way to go eat, he made a wrong turn and in trying to get back on the highway, he accidentally pulled into the parking lot of the Red Roof Inn. Uh, ahem. LOL. We both laughed about that NOT being the place for our first date, and we were off.

The weekend had been so crazy it was nice to sit and relax. Our conversation flowed very well, and he let me order whatever I wanted at my leisure. I ordered not one, but two margaritas. I REALLY wanted to have a drink. But I stopped after two. On a firet date, NEVER get drunk. When dinner was done, we decided to go for a ride...and then we went for a walk. He is a good listener - I appreciated that about him. And he was just so genuinely sweet. We both discussed what we are looking for. I told him I have no desire for a fling. I am looking for "the one." I'm 42...living on my own since I was 19...it's time. He claimed that he's looking for a relationship - no flings. Good because fling ain't my thing.

He was wonderfully adorable, sweet, polite...and seemed not to be holding anything back. As we walked by the water, we found a bench and sat down to talk some more. It was great. Weather was perfect. Good company. Good conversation. And I noticed it. Quiet one is apparently a shy one too, lol. I observed that he had a bit of a hard time with eye contact. Normally I would conclude that he was a dishonest man. The eyes are the window to the soul...so if you can't look at me, what is it you don't want me to see? But I could tell he was just shy. He apologized and we continued to talk.

A VERY intoxicated woman walked by - very angry with a man. She had a favorite word: f#$k! In fact she made the word her own...very colorful indeed and full of LOTS of emotion. Finally, it became so funny to me, that I told him I'd give him a quarter for every time she used the word. I believe we got to $3.75 in under a minute. What was my favorite moment of the night? I asked if I could put my head on his shoulder. And he said yes, and then his arm found the courage to enfold around me. It was very nice. I felt comforted. I think I needed it...don't know why. He has a wonderful shoulder!! Strong shoulders are often overlooked.

As we arrived at the doorstep to my house, I thanked him and he asked if we would go out again. Of course. yes. And then it happened.





Que??? What?

I was speechless. Every first date I had ever gone on in my lifetime always ended either with a tap kiss, a make out or me declining a kiss. But I cannot say with confidence I had been hugged good bye. I felt mildly tortured. LOL. In fact I had never left a date not knowing where I stood. So I called. Shouldn't have. But I did.

"Um, I'm a little confused. Did you not want to kiss me?"

(You see,people? even I have my insecure moments.)

"Yes, of course," he replied. "I respect you. I wanted to show that I respect you. Don't think I didn't want to."
"Oh, okay," We said goodnight...and I thought about it.

Initially I felt slightly rejected, but in the end I felt extremely respected. And I thought to myself, he's a gentleman. Good. Thank you, God, for placing a kind man in my path. So, I went to sleep and finally bhe non-dating spell had been broken!! Woohooo!! ...to be continued.


  1. Judy, everyone deserves to meet their "one" and spend the rest of their lives together. I met my "one" almost 14 years ago and we have been married for 13 years. It hasn't always been storybook perfect but life isn't storybook perfect either. The secret to a successful marriage (or relationship): have faith in God and each other.

  2. awwww i can't tell you how happy i am for you! he sounds like a great guy and they are the ones that are hard to come across nowadays. please ask him is there a mini version of him around my age and can he send them my way! lol but really you deserve the best and nothing but the best chica. glad you enjoyed your self!! and the money thing about the lady is too funny lol.

  3. Dear Judy,

    It's "DJ Mo" from Orlando, FL who interviewed you & had you sign my records last February. Yes, men read your blogs. I'm a man. (I hope! LOL!)

    Anyways, just wanted to congratulate you on your successful 1st date with the "Quiet One". He sounds so much like me, except my eyes aren't blue.

    Even though I may sound outgoing on my radio shows, I am a genuinely shy & quiet guy. My DJ persona is my alter ego.

    I admit that I have left a 1st date without a kiss. It is out of sheer respect, especially if we men are extremely intimidated by your good looks & we think by being a real gentleman & being different, you'd like us for that. What he did made you think about him a lot, didn't it? I guess it worked. Well played, "Quiet One".

    I'm happy to see that you may have found "The One". I'm still on my search right now, too. The game's changed a bit now. Women are starting to approach me instead of vice versa. I love bold women, so I kind of like this, since it takes pressure off me to initiate a conversation. Like I said, I also am a genuinely quiet & shy guy.

    Much luck to you & your new love interest!
    - DJ Mo
    Mixshow DJ / On-Air Personality
    "DJ Mo Radio"
    Fridays 5-7pm EST
    WPRK-FM 91.5: Winter Park-Orlando, FL

    Website: http://www.djmoradio.com
    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/djmoradio
    Email: mp3smo@aol.com

  4. Thank you for mentioning me again and my birthday!!! UYes I am one of those who cannot affored shows on a regular basis- just once in awhile. I am glad you had a great date to end Saturday's show!!! Much good luck with the Quiet One!!!xoxoox

  5. Hi Judy: Good men do exist. I'm so glad your show went well and that your date was great.
    Finally a true gentlemen. You deserve a good man. I pray he's the one. I'm sorry I missed your show I was going to go with Leslie but I had already made my plans to go to Puerto Rico for my birthday which was on the 23rd of May. It was so sweet of you to give Leslie such a special gift. She was very happy. She's a good friend. I miss hanging with her. Judy I know your birthday is coming soon. I hope this birthday brings you all that's wonderful. Cause you truly are a special LADY.
    Love Ya,