WAITED MORE THAN 20 YRS FOR THIS

Okay it's been a bit challenging trying to keep up with the blog because of the highly demanding schedule I've had lately, not to mention drama with a friend, taking care of my health, getting back to the zumba classes, writing songs, recording...It's been good.

So the other evening, I'm lying in my bed, just about to read the new book by Iyanla Vanzant (who I love & had the pleasure of meeting - that's for another blog), and I stopped for a second. I looked around my room and suddenly had a moment. Hm. Something feels odd. What couid it be? It hit me. I'm happy. No reason..just feel truly content. I smiled, and took a moment to recognize the joy & prayed to God, thanking him for it all! And so I thought back. Lots of things to be happy about.

I was at a songwriting session in Massachusets, when I received a call right out of the blue. "Hey, Judy, are you busy tomorrow? I'm in town...want to record that song with you." The call came from none other than Tony Moran. For the freestyle world, people know him at one of the men who made up the duet called the Latin Rascals - lead singer of Arabian Nights, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood and more. To the inside producers world, he is known a huge, popular success, producing for mega stars such as Luther Vandross, Barbra Streisand and Gloria Estefan. He's worked with U2, Bruce Springstein and so many more! To receive a call from him would be the equuivalent of Clive Davis calling me, lol. I've known him personally for many years, and we had always "talked" about working together, but it never happened. We were finally getting ready to record a song with him as producer, when things got in the way. Things like him receiving a phone call from the Estefan's requesting him to produce Gloria's next album. When he told me about the call, even I was like, "If you don't take this opportunity now, you'd be making a big mistake, huge." So, I was put on hold again...

So, almost 2 years ago, Tony had given me a song to listen to, promising me we'd do a duet together. And more things got in the way - my label not liking the song for one; my manager advising that the song would never make radio. At the time, I listened to the "things that got in the way." It made sense, so I let it go. But I would find myself still listening to the song, and just feeling an overwhelming sense of joy each time I heard it. True, it probably would never make radio...sounds nothing like what's on the radio now. But I still loved it. So it was just one of those songs that could've been, that I would listen to from time to time...

Now I get the call from Tony. "Remember that song I gave you a while back? Well, I'm putting my album together - a lot of people on this album with me: Jennifer Holiday (the orginal Dreamgirl on Broadway), Anastacia (OMG - I have ALL her music) and many more...I want you on this album." I'm not an idiot...I said yes before he even completed his sentence. "Okay, Judy, I'll be in touch with you...we'll record tomorrow night." I thought to myself 'sure...that's what he said before.' So I cleared my schedule just in case, but planned to songwrite some more, and take a zumba class in its place.

Well, it was almost 4pm the next day. And just as I thought it wasn't going to manifest, he called me to confirm we were recording at Peter's Planet in NYC (Barbra Streisand recorded there!) that evening at 7:30pm. Woohooo!! I posted the good news on facebook...I HAD HAD to share that! I arrived at 7:29pm...and Tony Moran was on Latino Time!! He arrived at 8:47...and we went right to work ( I posted a little video for you to see at the end of this). I have recorded with many people over the 24 year span of my career. I have recorded with wonderful, talented people. And I can say bad things about no one, except one who shall remain nameless. This was Tony Moran. This was different, and I was genuinely so excited that I cried when I was preparing to sing. To have Tony Moran work with me was a dream come true! To work with him was, well, to work hard. He is a perfectionist in his own right...and yet, I never got angry or frustrated with him...I felt that way with myself at times, but I will forever remember the experience as going to another level.

He was a stickler for details. And they say love is in the details, lol. He picked on me about my pronunciation of the word moon; how I didn't let the chorus be more legato; where he wanted and didn't want vibrato...it was all so awesome! I left the studio and returned home at almost 6am the next morning...but the sun was shining and I did nothing but thank God repeatedly for such a blessing. Somehow I knew that it was a sign of even better things to come.

Awesome shows lately too -like the one at Lehman College in the Bronx, a college I attended. Actually I took music classes, psychology classes and every single acting class imaginable until the professor said, "Judy, there are no otehr acting classes to take - you've taken them all!" So, at the show in Lehman College, there was just a collective joy from the audience - it was so amazing it was palpable!!! I was excited because I had worked on a new show tape, and well, the last time I was a Lehman performing, it was a memorable one. I stepped out on stage, and felt pretty good about how I looked...I desperately searched my closet for something worthy of a large stage like that.

When I stepped out on stage - the sweet reception was palpable, and I felt wonderful. I brought out some props to remind them of our freestyle generational era, and we all had a good laugh. And of course, when I'm having a perfect show, something imperfect always needs to happen...my belt broke, fell off, I don't know I just know I looked down, and there it was - forming a cute little circle around me. Oh, well...I kept singing and said my thank yous and walked off, satisfied with a good show. But I left the belt on stage.

To my surprise, backstage, I saw Tony Moran...he was performing too!! How cool!!! He forewarned me that we might be singing the song on stage together...wow. I was excited, and then freaking terrified...didn't know if I even knew the words by heart yet. So, I'm watching Tony sing, and he's in GREAT shape...he's got a great tanned, muscular physique...the only things that reveal he's over 40 are the distinguished grays on his head...BUT he really is a handsome man - grays and all. Here's the issue that people might make an issue out of: I am very tall 5'9", and a chunky hunk of woman! Tony, well, I don't know how tall he is, but he's shorter than me, and in trim condition. I speculated what people might say if we sang together...but then I reminded myself that people want to hear us sing, and if they like the song that is all that matters. And if anyone wants to make an issue of the "look" - that's their problem, isn't it? LOL...and then I saw Tony.

HE was stage left (which means on my right) holding my cute, pink, purple beaded belt in his hand. What a gentleman he is to have remembered to get my belt for me, when all he should think about is his show. Here is this handsome, adonis-like-physiqued-man holding this dainty little belt. I couldn't let that happen. I thought to myself 'run on stage, grab the belt, give him a quick kiss on the cheek and let him finish." So I run onto the stage...it will only take a second. And BAM! OUCH...i tripped on this mini black platform that came up off from the stage & it was black too, and I heard the crowd gasp. But Tony caught me. Thank you, Tony. I wasn't really embarrassed but I felt bad - I didn't want to take the attention off Tony - I just wanted him to finish his show without holding my belt. And then he knelt down, and kissed my hand. Que lindo! So sweet!

Just three days ago, he called me back into the studio for fix just 3 lines in the song...and yes, after hearing them, they needed to be done over. So I thought I'd be in the studio for no more than a half hour...but NO! This is Tony, people, lol....sometimes when you work with a "genius", the experience is not at all what you expect it to be. If you have ever had the unique privilege of being with a genius, they are unlike others. Tony has a unique way of being all over the place in his thinking...before I stepped into the studio booth, he began telling me why we were doing the lines over. The experience reminded me of watching Gary Busey on Celebrity Apprentice, lol...but realistically, the second I walked into the booth, we did exactly what he wanted. Unfortunately my voice was working against what my brain told it to do. Ugh. Even though I finally got what he needed, I still felt I had failed him. I know what my voice can do, and since I've got the nodules on my vocal chords, my voice doesn't always do what I need it to, when I need it to. Tony told me, "Before you leave, I want you to hear a song I've been working on. Maybe you might wanna add something to it." The track was EXCELLENT! And he grabbed a piece of paper, quietly scribbled and scribbled, and when he sang to me what he wanted me to do, I RAN into the booth. He wrote a hit in 5 minutes. It was an out-of-body experience. I felt privileged that he asked me to sing it...I am truly blessed!

And so, as I was preparing to go to sleep, I looked around my quiet, dark bedroom and just felt a sense of peace. I still have no townhouse I've been dreaming of; I still have no man in my life...but I have SO much....mmmm...and I went into a deep and happy sleep! Yes. Life is good!

Painted Nails, Easter Eggs and An EggHead!!

So I owe you a HUGE apology for not blogging for more than a month! Wow, has it been that long? Sorry. I am usually blogging about how busy I am, lol...but this time I was so busy I couldn't even blog about being busy.

My niece, Jennyce, is with me for the week...I wanted to give my mom & my sister a well-deserved break, and spend some quality time with Jennyce as well. Problem is I kind of picked the wrong week to do it. I was personally invited by John Leguizamo himself, to see Ghetto Klown, his latest one-man Broadway show, along with a cocktail party, show, and meet & greet afterward. Although I had already met him and have the picture to prove it, I DON'T mind meeting him again. He has a brilliant mind, and he's far more intelligent than one could imagine. But I won't be going because the invite is for this Thursday - the same day I promised my niece that we would go to Sweet & Sassy a very, girlie-girl place where she can make her own lotion, and go bowling afterward. Normally, I wouldn't be selfish, but I had a momentary lapse of insanity, and my mind went like this:

John Leguizamo! Oh, John!
No...Jennyce - bowling. Cute smile!
John - he's got a cute smile too!
Jennyce, I promised her I'd bring her with me for Spring Break.
John..hello!!! A personal invite from him!! How could I not go...John needs me!
Jennyce needs me!

As heartbreaking as it was to decline the invite, it would have been heartbreaking for me to have canceled on her. This 5 year old child doesn't know who John Leguizamo is...and quite frankly, I don't think she cares either, lol. Besides, as a child, one of my most bitter memories are the ones I remember of looking forward to something, only to have it canceled on me. I can still remember being told 'you'll get over it...disappointment is part of life.' True. But. Children don't need to know disappointment until they're a bit older...so for now my motto is: if you make a promise, you keep a promise - ESPECIALLY when a child is involved.

So, it's just past midnight now, and I finally got her to bed after a VERY full day of events: she HAD to paint my nails (first time in my life, I have 4 different-colored nail polishes on; shoe shopping for her at the mall; Easter shopping at Target because she said my house needed to be decorated; shopping for my sister-in-law's baby shower on Saturday; egg-decorating; neighborhood carnival...oh, had to cook dinner; read her a book, get her a bath, made her brush her teeth and then she said "Titi judy, come on, let's have a talk." Everytime she says that, honestly, my heart just becomes blob-like...and I find myself saying, "Ok, what would you like to talk about?" More than half an hour later, she's sleeping like an angel...so while I have a precious moment to myself, I'll try to bring you up to speed. And by the way, kudos to all the people who do this every single day with their own children!!

First, please know I promise to blog about recording with Tony Moran and the concert at Lehman College and Horseshoe Casino in Indiana...but that will come in the next one. For now, a couple of weeks ago I had a date...

I met him at a convention where I was asked to be a speaker. Although I have select words for him, I'll call him AJ. AJ works as a social worker for under-priveleged children, in his late 30s, handsome, well-spoken. More than two people there basically sang his praises, promising me what a good guy he is. So we exchanged numbers and chatted on and off for a couple of weeks. He finally says, "So, when can I actually take you out?" I offer to meet him for brunch at a local restaurant. We had already discussed the typical: are you married, children? Where do you live? Where did you grow up, etc...I was relieved to discover that he was single. Divorced. But over 10 years now...so that sounded good.

I meet him at the restaurant, and he was courteous, on time, and a gentleman. He was a bit shy at first, but then he opened up, At some point between the appetizers and main course, he asks me, "So, Judy, why are you still single?" I always somehow feel that that is a trick question...because if I knew why I was single, perhaps I wouldn't be. Anyway, I tell him what I believe to be true: Things haven't worked out so far, and I'm looking for a good single man, who doesn't have issues of fear of intimacy, baby mama drama, or commitment phobia. Then he begins to flirt just a bit and compliments me. Who doesn't like a compliment? I gladly accepted, especially because my last situation left me feeling - well - quite rejected and without real explanation. So it was time to go because I had another commitment. He asks if we could take a picture. I thought it odd for a "first date" but I said ok.

He walks me to my car. I thank him for brunch. And then that awkward first moment comes (although I admit with other dates in my past, it wasn't awkward at all.). He says, "I had a great time...when can I see you again?" Don't know why, that little voice inside me decided to mess things up, but it nudged me, so I complied. "Ok, AJ, before I say yes and agree to another date, I need to ask you something one more time. You see, I don't normally make a new guy pay for the last guy's crimes, but I MUST ask you this."

"Sure" he says.
"Okay. Here goes. Are you sure you're single? I mean, not married, not separated, not in the middle of a divorce, not seeing anyone, no girlfriend (here or long-distance wise), not sort-of-seeing someone? Completely? - because the last man I dated told me he was single until the 3rd time we went out."

And then he drops the ball.

"Well, Judy, you know, I think you're so great...I mean really great. (Oh, God, here it comes...anytime someone begins a sentence with 'I think you're great...it's not good) I didn't think you'd be so cool...but I am kind of seeing someone."
Ugh. Disgust. Disappointment...here we go again.

"So how long are you kind of seeing someone?"
"A year and a half."
"Okay, that's not kind of seeing someone...that's called a girlfriend, my dear."
Drum roll please....

....and the EggHead of the Year, 2011 goes to....AJ

"So, why did you lie to me? Why did you even ask me out? Does your girlfriend know you're here?"

"I'm sorry, Judy..but how could I pass up a date with Judy Torres? It's cool, you know, go to my buddies and be like, 'yea, I went out with her once..."

Ouch.

....and the Supporting Egghead of the year awared goes to...AJ...

Idiot.
Jerk.

So, I got in my car, regretting I even let him take a picture with me. I drove away...and funniest thing, he called me today and left a message:
"Hey Judy, how are you, beautiful? I wanted to invite you to my girlfriend's birthday party this Saturday...blah, blah, blah."

Idiot.
Jerk.
Really? Seriously? Come on...
Freaking Egg Head!!

This is the strangest thing though. For the last month and a half, I have been very happy. And even though once in a blue moon, I feel a pang of loneliness...I'm not lonely. And I am sincerely happy with my life - with or without a man...And it is rare for me to feel that way....

So if you're single and frustrated about the dating scene, you are not alone. But here's my message: Never settle for anything just because you're lonely...and don't do booty calls either, lol. I am trying to get a rain check to see John & his show next week. Fingers crossed! Darn...gotta go...my niece is calling me...goodnight!

I'M NOT A MACHINE!!! OR AM I?

One of my best friends was very depressed one day, and he came to see me and asked, "Judy, why am I so depressed? I don't even know why...all I know is that I'm on the verge of tears all the time." After talking with him and learning of his work schedule, and discovering that work was pretty much all he was doing, I gave him an answer. "The key to being happy is to balance out all aspects of your life: spiritual, personal, professional,family life, romantic life, health (not necessarily in that order). If you don't give each part of who you are equal attention, there becomes a deficit." And although I haven't found myself on the verge of tears, thank God, I do feel a little used up. Lately, (only in the last few weeks), I feel like a machine that everyone rents out, uses, and returns it without a second thought - person after person, but no one thinks to bring it somewhere for maintenance...I feel like a bank, Judy's Bank. People everyday continually making withdrawals...not deposits, and before you know it, there is no interest & the account becomes depleted.

Oh,yes, that's the word I was looking for: depleted. Now, I'm not talking about my average week full of shows and radio shifts and a few favors along the way. I am also not talking about anything I do for children. I would do ANYTHING for children in need of a boost...very hard to disappoint children. It's a policy of mine. Don't promise anything to a child unless you are 100% sure you can deliver. And when children need help, I have a hard time saying no. Okay, I diverted a bit. Getting back to feeling depleted.

I always do my best to put myself in other people's shoes - it's a good habit to develop - it teaches empathy & compassion...and if I put myself in other people's shoes BEFORE I talk, I find it keeps me from saying something stupid, lol. In the spirit of doing so, I put myself in so many people's shoes in the last month that I need some comfy, fluffy slippers. Here's the problem: No one thinks to put themselves in my shoes. And my shoes can be very very high heels that fit a bit too tight. And everywhere I turn someone is asking me for a favor. And there is really nothing wrong with it, but no one knows whether or not I've been sleep deprived or that I'm having difficulty with my voice because I have nodules on my vocal chords (they are like tiny callouses on the vocal chords that interfere with your singing - sometimes requiring surgery. The cure? Speech therapy can help, but it takes a LONG time...ideally a dcotor told me 'just shut up.')

I don't want to sound ugly here...I want you to know that I go out of my way to do EVERYTHING possible to help ANYONE who needs me...I believe in karma, and want to be sure that what ever comes around is a good thing. But...I am a human being...and when relatives and friends and strangers and deejays and promoters and booking agents and managers are all asking for favors - well, it's exhausting. Who do I blame? Myself. I have learned over the years to say no; and when absolutely necessary I will, but it never comes without an overwhelming sense of guilt - and sometimes I get yelled at, or hate letters because they are upset that I cannot help. Allow me to give you a taste of what it's been like of late.

I have received 8 requests to speak at schools (which I WANT to do), 11 requests to perform for fundraisers - and 14 requests for internet radio interviews all in one month!!...most of the dates falling around or on the same day. I want to be VERY clear - I am NOT complaining...I'm simply venting. To me complaining happens when you don't want to do something & venting happens when you do want to do something but don't know HOW. LOL. I was asked just yesterday to do a favor and "show up" at a party and sing one song. I couldn't do it because I had KTU from 4pm to 10pm and then a show with the band, Mirage, in memory of my friend Michelina...where, how could I make this private party? When I apologized and told the woman I couldn't make it, she proceeded to tell me I am a bitch and don't care about other people. Que que????? Whaaattt??? Although I know she spoke out of anger, she doesn't know that I gave a free concert to a school just this past Wednesday to special education students at Hungerfoot School in Staten Island. She doesn't know that I went recently to my local utility company and asked a representative there to give me the name of a random woman whose bill was not paid and I PAID it for her - complete stranger. So, Ms. Thang, don't presume to think you know me, lol. I'm acting all tough now, but last night I cried. Part of me cried out of sheer exhaustion - part because I felt hurt - part because I don't like to disappoint because I felt bad I couldn't do it all, and part because sometimes, dammit, I am NOT a machine. I am a human being. Being a performer teaches you very quickly that people don't want excuses - they paid to see you sing - You had better sing...they don't care if you're sick, or you have some family emergency, or that you're just tired. Oh, by the way, I was also asked to help a gentleman from Gaza City come to the United States because I'm a broadcaster and I can afford it, OMG!!! If I'm feeling like this, I can just imagine what Rihanna or J-Lo go through!

Well, I'm going home in a little while, I'm going to take a long bath, put on my coziest pj's and find a way to get rid of the migraine I've had since last night. On a positive note, I was asked about by one of the teachers today, lol...I said yes, but I have to check my calendar, lol. I need to figure out how to bring back balance in my life...and I have to clean my house too! LOL. Help. Someone hug me!!!!

AS THE SUN WENT DOWN, MOHEGAN SUN ARENA WENT UP!!

Last night we began the long trek down to the Freestyle Extravaganza 6, at Mohegan Sun in Uncasville, CT at 3:30pm...my scheduled showtime was 8:15pm. I was informed the night before that I would be second to perform in the line up. For a performer, sometimes that's not a great thing. I'm not one of those people that thinks, 'Great, I can get it over with and watch the rest of the show.' For me in the 20 plus years in this business of music, I have learned that the later you go on stage, the bigger the reflection on you; in other words - it's a GREAT compliment! I am very happy to know that from time to time being in this business has always HUMBLED me. I am very accustomed to going on last, or next to last...and there is a lot of pressure going on last. Going on last is implies that you are going to give a great show, if not - the best show. It is a lot of pressure, but I love the challenge. But this show I was second in line...so what does that mean? My ego began to get in my way.

Um, is the promoter or booking agent mad at me? Did I say something wrong? Am I being punished? Was it that they were dissatisfied with my performance last year and just wouldn't tell me? Is it because I don't have dancers??? As you can see, I am a sensitive & worrisome soul, lol.

On the wall, the order of the concert was posted, and indeed my name was second in line. Okay, I've accepted it, lol. But then I see my length of showtime: TEN MINUTES! My show is typically 20-25 minutes; 30 minutes if we're all having a great time...but ten minutes...wow, that's tough. But that wasn't the problem - the problem was my showtape was 12:54 seconds long. I had been granted permission to use that showtape by one of the promoters, but suddenly my road manager, David, was telling me, "Judy..you can only do 10 minutes." I looked at him. And then I continued to look at him. I was attempting to telepathically tell him, 'I don't care what you have to do, PLEASE don't tell me I'm going to be cut off in the middle of my show!!' And I looked at him for another second..."Okay Judy...I'll go talk to them." He's worked with me for 14 years...and we work well together! I am blessed to have him around!

I saw some familiar faces - the TKA posse, Sal Abbattiello of Fever Records and Crystal Waters. It always feels like I'm home when I see the "freestyle family." - TKA, George Lamond, Cynthia, etc. I was greeted, and I walked through the hall to my dressing room that I was sharing with Rockell & Crystal Waters! I was happy to share it with them because Rockell & I get along superbly & I am a big fan of Crystal Waters. While we were all putting on make up, we were exchanging information about favorite cosmetics and the state of dance music, and how the basic "song structure" has somewhat changed..but that's a whole other blog...and then something strange, odd, oh, I don't know...something unexpected happened, something I had NEVER been asked while in a dressing room in my entire life.

A woman, who I do know but not all that well, approached me while I was putting on make up in front of the sink...I only had 10 minutes left before I had to report backstage. "Judy, can you just move and give me a minute so I can brush my teeth?" Que, que?!?! Huh?! Oh, what a dilemma I had been put in. I had to choose between finishing my face and covering some flaws, or allowing this woman to keep with her dental hygiene routine intact...oh, what to do, what to do!!! I was literally dumbfounded...I can't have this woman walking around with stinky breath, but I can't go on stage with this sudden pimple on my nose that I had to cover. I mean the diva in me thought, "I'm getting ready to go on stage...can u wait one second?" but I'm not rude like that, lol...and then an angel named Crystal Waters decided for me. "Hey, I'm done, if you want you can use this one." Bless you, Crystal..now my pimple is taken care of and this woman has fresh kissable breath!

The show began with Rockell. Mid-way during her show, she took her shoes off. I TOTALLY understand...sometimes the shoes, as cute as they look, inhibit you from freely moving around. During her last song I said my prayers, and my road manager walked up to me. We looked out into the crowd..and I told him, "There are some empty seats, because a lot of people are on Latino time...(they're late)" LOL My concern was that the next day, the fans would be angry with me that they didn't get a chance to see me. But he said, "Don't you worry about that." "Oh, I'm not worried...I'm going to do my best & perform for the ones that are here now!" Then he told me the one thing that I hate people telling me right before a show: "Judy, don't talk. You can't talk." Um, excuse me...lol...but doesn't everyone know that after all these years, talk is part of my show??? It is a part of who I am. Telling me not to talk is like telling Oprah not to ask questions during her show. So, I responded the way he wanted me to. "I know...Ok. No talking." Yeah, right!

My name was announced...I walked on stage, took a deep breath, and without even realizing my mouth opened and words sprang forth involuntarily!! "How's everybody doing tonight? How far back do you want to go? Let's go back to before you had the kids, before the bills...the year was 1987, the song was No Reason to Cry." Whew...they let me talk. The music began and I had SO much freaking fun up there...it's as if we were all so hungry to remember easier times...I began to revisit some dance steps that were popular during the 80s: the Wop & the Roger Rabbit. I had just as much fun as the crowd did, believe me! In fact I was having so much fun that during I Love You, Will You Love Me, I forgot a couple of words. Holy crap...I just did a Christina Aguilera! Just like her, I sang words but in the wrong place...I don't think anyone noticed, but Christina probably hoped the very same thing, hahaha! And then during Come Into My Arms, the last song, I felt a strange sensation...as I was dancing, I became a little winded because I usually talk before the song, and it brings my heart rate back down, but it wasn't happening tonight. I was so afraid that they were going to cut me off...but the people were standing up, singing and smiling...please don't cut off my song...please - I'm almost done. And then my foot began to hurt. I ignored it. Fighting to breathe through the dancing and singing, I finished & I felt good about the show...

I walked into the dressing room, removed my shoes, and there it was: part of the shoe cut right into my toe and the top part of my foot was throbbing...oh well, at least I didn't fall. I walked over to Lisa-Lisa's dressing room. I love that girl beyond words...she's so honest, blunt and she's forever kind to me. We chatted a bit, and then I said hello to Coro, hugged him and walked over to TKA's dressing room to wish them luck. I had to leave...the limo was on a time constraint and there was nothing I could do about it. I was really hoping to see MC Hammer and Bobby Brown perform...but at least I can say I was on the same concert as they were...so cool! Freestyle still lives!! Thanks to all who came out to support us, to support the music and to support the legacy of the freestyle culture!! Muah!

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO....

Every year I cannot wait to watch the Oscars. I love the glamour, just like the eveyone else & I love the idea that someone's hard work truly pays off. Once an actor wins an Oscar, their career skyrockets, and their names shall forever be preceded with "Academy-Award-Winning..." and what an honor that is! But this year is a little different...

If you recall, the 5th graders of Staten Island's PS 22 Chorus peformed No Reason to Cry with me back in November for the 25th Anniversary of Freestyle Concert at Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. (I'm sorry, was that a run-on sentence? Sorry Ms. Parisi!) Well, during their own Christmas concert, Anne Hathaway, this year's co-host for the Oscars, surprised them with the news that they would perform with her at this year's 83rd annual Academny Awards!! The children burst into so much excitement that they completely drowned out Anne Hathaway and she had a microphone, lol. Their music teacher, Mr. Gregg Breinberg, is just the most inspiring human being and teacher I've met in a LONG time! He deserves SO much, and is a shining example of what being a good teacher is all about. So it is with great anticipation that I will be racing to my friend's house for an Oscar party as soon as I'm done with my shift at KTU.

Okay, so let's get down to it. Just about one billion people will be watching thet Oscars tonight...and we each have our own favorites. I had to confess that I didn't see ALL the movies nominated (first year I was unable to because this was the first time that TEN movies were nominated), but I did see the following:

Black Swan
Inception
Social Network
The Fighter
The Kids Are Alright
The King's Speech
Toy Story 3

Hey 7 out of 10 ain't bad! Okay, so my vote for Best Picture is The King's Speech or The Fighter. Inception was incredible, no doubt about it, but let's face it, stories based on factual events and people are more compelling, and Colin Firth's acting was AMAZING

So now you know my pick for best actor,lol! By the way, Mark Wahlberg was completely overlooked for best actor...when will they finally realize what a wonderful actor he is. I think he's such a natural that it's easy to underestimate his talent. My vote for best actress, hello...duh...Natalie Portman. She acts with a certain sense of desperation and vulnerability that is truly captivating. And the poor thing lost 20 pounds for the role...bendito, she was hungry!!!! But her portrayal of a prima ballerina wss magnificent. She's come a long way, and I think tonight, she will be honored...we'll have to wait and see.

For best supporting actor my pick is Christian Bale in the Fighter. First of all, he pulled of a Boston accent and he's not even from America...secondly, playing a strung-out-almost-made-it-to-the-top who was addicted to crack is a VERY difficult thing to pull off. And when you see the movie, you cannot take your eyes off of him. He was just on e of the most believable actors I've seen in a LONG time...and if he doesn't win, I'll be kind of angry. If not him, then I believe it will be Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech. He really is a phenomenal actor and he usually outshines everyone in all his movies. For best supporting actress, it MUST be, HAS to be Melissa Leo from the fighter!! She was brilliant as a dysfunctional, "trashy", mother who although loves her sons, she stands in their way too, She was loud, she rambunctious and flamboyant...but she was also a mom...a mom of 9. I just recall watching the movie and thinking, "WHO is this woman? Where did she come from and why haven't I heard of her before?" I hope she gets it.

Well that'll do it for me. I don't pretend to be a film critic - just a yong woman who appreciates the cinema and ALL the work that goes into it...after all, I was cast with a minor role in a film called Elliot Loves, scheduled to be released in the summer. I only had three lines and it took almost 18 hours to get 2 scenes done, so I can imagine the time-consuming, stressful and hard work that goes into film-making. Thank you, film makers, for begin brave enough to put your ideas on film so we can be entertained and inspired!!!

MS. TORRES' OPUS 2011

I received an email from a graduate from my alma mater of four years later, Margaret Goulet, a teacher at PS 189M in Washington Heights, NY. She explained that the music programs in schools are being cut, and their school's music program is thriving with very talented children who could use inspiration from someone in the music business. I was invited there, and Tuesday, February 8th, I arrived to speak with the students. I didn't bring any speeches because I have learned from past experiences that the children don't want speeches; they don't want to be spoken "at", they want to be spoken "to".

I arrived and was taken to the auditorium, which was of a nice size. No one was there yet, but I was introduced to the music teachers and then was taken to the library to wait until my appointed time. Somewhere around 1:30pm or so, I was escorted to the auditorium. There they were, perhaps around 200 or so children. All those eyes on me as I walked down toward the stage. And I find it amusing that I found myself wondering what they might be wondering. What were they thinking?? Were they thinking, "Wow. She's big!" or "Where' the bling?" or "Doesn't she have bodyguards?" LOL. I know, sad, but true. But then I tell myself what almost gets me through anything almost every time: Just be yourself! I was introduced to the 5th graders and then all eyes were on me. Hm, I'm a little out of my element. Most of the time, when in front of any crowd, I am a bit more relaxed knowing in advance that most people PAID to see me...I know in advance that they came to see me. This was a little different - they were brought to see me. Children have an inborne talent of knowing the truth...it doesn't matter what you're wearing, or what you say, the way a blood hound hunts down the prey, children hunt down your sincerity - they want to know that you are truthful.

I took the microphone...looked out at them, and broke the ice: "Waaaazzzzzuuuupppp!!!" They laughed, and I smiled and thus began my talk about where I had come from: oldest of 5 siblings, raised by a single mother in the Bronx, on welfare, but knowing the entire time that I wanted to be a singer. Then I told them how I was discovered: at a local gong show in the Bronx, by a man who had NO experience in the music business - just a heart of gold wanting to really help me. I went on to tell them how I recorded my first song, and what it felt like when I heard my song on the radio.

I brought along my "visual aids." - Photographs taken with celebrities & autographs of celebrities wishing me well, etc. When you speak to children about being a "celebrity", but they've never heard of you, the easiest way to get them to be more open minded is to SHOW them where you've been, who you've met and of course show them all the cds released along the way. Their questions always amuse me: "Judy, do you know Pitbull? Do you get scared before you sing? Can you sing for us?" Ah, I always get the last question...and singing for the children somehow makes it real for them, so I never say no. (I just tell them that I will sing AFTER the talk.)

I love 5th graders. They have a gleam in their eye, knowing that anything is possible...they still have hope, they have dreams and they are open to working hard. The talk was over, and then Ms. Goulet said, "Ms. Torres, before you go, we are going to take you back to 1018 and Roseland." She asked me to take a seat in the audience...And then they walked onto the stage: about 8 chorus girls to my left, 20 or so children with recorders in hand, 8 boy steel drum players, and here's the kicker: about 12 violinists! There is something about the violin and cello that almost always move my heart in a way that makes it beat faster...to me, the strings "cry" out the emotion of a song. The music teachers, one on drums and the other conducting, joined them and they began to play.

For 24 years, I had heard the "strings" on my songs, but they were computerized...but then I heard the children playing the string line from one of my favorite songs: Come Into My Arms. Be still my heart! I was rendered truly speechless. My heart began to pound...I looked around and they were all smiling. They were performing Come Into My Arms for me! For me! Wow...and then, you already know what happened: I cried. How could I not? I realized rather quickly that they must have been rehearsing this for a long time; that they had to be taught a song they most likely had never heard....and they played it for me. I can't explain why I was so moved, except to say that I felt VERY validated and affirmed as an artist. I think it's quite interesting that performing at Madison Square Garden should make me feel far more validated. And it did...don't get me wrong, BUT...the children...when the children played the song for me...I was honored. I felt like the luckiest person in the world...or as my mom would say, "blessed, Judy, not lucky. There is o such thing as luck." LOL.

I was immediately taken back to the movie, Mr. Holland's Opus, starring Richard Dreyfuss. And if you have never seen it, you honestly need to. It is a story about a teacher who gave up his life long dream of becoming a famous composer and musician in order to teach children at a school. He wss somewhat forced to teach as a means to make a better income because he and his wife were suddenly expecting a child. Mr. Holland always had plans to leave teaching, but before he knew it, 30 years later...he was still a music teacher...and to his heartbreak and surrpise...he was fired. On his last day, he hears something in the distance, and when he enters the auditorium, the students both present and from years past, are there to celebrate him and his life's work. And then to his amazement, he discovers that his students have prepared his symphony, which he had kept a secret for so many years. It is one of those, Randy-pass-me-a-tissue moments, and I cried like a baby. And when the 5th graders of PS 189M played Come Into My Arms for me, I knew EXACTLY what Mr. Holland felt. It was a privilege and an honor...and I felt that all these years of hard, hard and sometimes unrecognized work, was finally being recognized and appreciated. What an honor!! I am humbled...to hear your own song being played for you by children...it's the closest thing to hearing angels sing thatI could experience!

I spoke to the children afterward, I took some pictures and I even spoke to some parents afterward....I went home feeling so happy. And later that night, I received an email from Ms. Goulet thanking me, and informing me that the children were so excited that a real singer came to visit them. She said that they "got so much out of it." No..no...I beg to differ. I was the one who got so much out of it...they gave me a gift that I shall take with me even 'til the day I die. There is no better feeling than giving to those who need, and no better feeliog to love and be loved!And for one glorious day, I heard through the hands and ears of children - Ms. Torres' Opus!!"

For Those Who Have Loved, Been Loved, Lost Love & Pray For Love

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I'd like to post 3 songs that I love: one for those in love, one for those who've been hurt from love and one for those praying for THE love of their life. I hope you appreciate it!

1. For those in love:
SEDUCES ME (CELINE DION)

Everything you are, everything you'll be
Touches the current of love so deep in me.
Every sigh in the night - every tear that you cry...seduces me.
And all that I am, and all that I'll be -
Means nothing at all, if you can't be with me.
Your most innocenty kiss or your sweetest caress...seduces me.

I don't care about tomorrow. I've given up on yesterday.
Here and now is all that matters -right here with you is where I'll stay.

Everything in this world, every voice in the night -
Every little thing of beauty, shining through in your eyes
And all that is you becomes part of me too
Cause all you do seduces me.
And if I should die tomorrow
I'd go down with a smile on my face.
I thank God I've ever known you
I fall down on my knees for the love we made.

Every sigh in the night...every tear that cry...seduces me.
And all that you do - seduces me.

2. For those who've been hurt from love:
BETTER TO HAVE LOVED...Idina Menzel

If the sun went down tomorrow and it never came back
And the city went quiet and we fade to black.
Well I,I won't have a single regret, and I wouldn't change a thing.
'Cause I never knew I could feel what I feel inside of me

Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have held you and let you in than
Never to have touched your skin.
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fallen to the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved...you.

I knew all of the time I was taking a chance.
When I stand there at the edge of the cliff and
No one was holding my hand...
Well, well the wind blew strong - and the clouds rolled in
And I felt my slipped off the ground
Yes I bared my soul, and I dared to go
Knowing one day you might let me down.

Better to have loved...
I gave you everything, but you had said goodbye.
You said goodbye...

3. For those praying for love:
Ready For Love - India Arie

A few years ago, I went to see Sade in concert at Madison Square Garden, and this woman I had never heard of opened up for her. She sang this song & I was literally captivated...

I am ready for love - why are you hiding from me?
I'd quickly give my freedom to be held in your captivity.
I am ready for love - all of the joy and the pain -
And all the time that it takes just to stay in your good grace.

Lately I've been thinking maybe you're not ready for me.
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for, 'cuase you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow, I'd say the same thing:

I am ready for love. Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here.
If you give me half a chance I'll prove this to you
I will be patient,kind,faithful and true
To a man who loves music, a man who loves art -
Respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart.

I am ready for love - if you take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach...
And do the best that I can.
I am ready for love - here with an offering of
My voice, my eyes, my song my life
Tell me what is enough to prove that I'm ready for love?

I know, I know it's all very corny, but hey, I can't help myself...I have no Valentine and this stuff makes me feel happy!! Love you! LOL - By the way you can sell all these songs' videos on youtube!