Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Painted Nails, Easter Eggs and An EggHead!!

So I owe you a HUGE apology for not blogging for more than a month! Wow, has it been that long? Sorry. I am usually blogging about how busy I am, lol...but this time I was so busy I couldn't even blog about being busy.

My niece, Jennyce, is with me for the week...I wanted to give my mom & my sister a well-deserved break, and spend some quality time with Jennyce as well. Problem is I kind of picked the wrong week to do it. I was personally invited by John Leguizamo himself, to see Ghetto Klown, his latest one-man Broadway show, along with a cocktail party, show, and meet & greet afterward. Although I had already met him and have the picture to prove it, I DON'T mind meeting him again. He has a brilliant mind, and he's far more intelligent than one could imagine. But I won't be going because the invite is for this Thursday - the same day I promised my niece that we would go to Sweet & Sassy a very, girlie-girl place where she can make her own lotion, and go bowling afterward. Normally, I wouldn't be selfish, but I had a momentary lapse of insanity, and my mind went like this:

John Leguizamo! Oh, John!
No...Jennyce - bowling. Cute smile!
John - he's got a cute smile too!
Jennyce, I promised her I'd bring her with me for Spring Break.
John..hello!!! A personal invite from him!! How could I not go...John needs me!
Jennyce needs me!

As heartbreaking as it was to decline the invite, it would have been heartbreaking for me to have canceled on her. This 5 year old child doesn't know who John Leguizamo is...and quite frankly, I don't think she cares either, lol. Besides, as a child, one of my most bitter memories are the ones I remember of looking forward to something, only to have it canceled on me. I can still remember being told 'you'll get over it...disappointment is part of life.' True. But. Children don't need to know disappointment until they're a bit for now my motto is: if you make a promise, you keep a promise - ESPECIALLY when a child is involved.

So, it's just past midnight now, and I finally got her to bed after a VERY full day of events: she HAD to paint my nails (first time in my life, I have 4 different-colored nail polishes on; shoe shopping for her at the mall; Easter shopping at Target because she said my house needed to be decorated; shopping for my sister-in-law's baby shower on Saturday; egg-decorating; neighborhood carnival...oh, had to cook dinner; read her a book, get her a bath, made her brush her teeth and then she said "Titi judy, come on, let's have a talk." Everytime she says that, honestly, my heart just becomes blob-like...and I find myself saying, "Ok, what would you like to talk about?" More than half an hour later, she's sleeping like an while I have a precious moment to myself, I'll try to bring you up to speed. And by the way, kudos to all the people who do this every single day with their own children!!

First, please know I promise to blog about recording with Tony Moran and the concert at Lehman College and Horseshoe Casino in Indiana...but that will come in the next one. For now, a couple of weeks ago I had a date...

I met him at a convention where I was asked to be a speaker. Although I have select words for him, I'll call him AJ. AJ works as a social worker for under-priveleged children, in his late 30s, handsome, well-spoken. More than two people there basically sang his praises, promising me what a good guy he is. So we exchanged numbers and chatted on and off for a couple of weeks. He finally says, "So, when can I actually take you out?" I offer to meet him for brunch at a local restaurant. We had already discussed the typical: are you married, children? Where do you live? Where did you grow up, etc...I was relieved to discover that he was single. Divorced. But over 10 years that sounded good.

I meet him at the restaurant, and he was courteous, on time, and a gentleman. He was a bit shy at first, but then he opened up, At some point between the appetizers and main course, he asks me, "So, Judy, why are you still single?" I always somehow feel that that is a trick question...because if I knew why I was single, perhaps I wouldn't be. Anyway, I tell him what I believe to be true: Things haven't worked out so far, and I'm looking for a good single man, who doesn't have issues of fear of intimacy, baby mama drama, or commitment phobia. Then he begins to flirt just a bit and compliments me. Who doesn't like a compliment? I gladly accepted, especially because my last situation left me feeling - well - quite rejected and without real explanation. So it was time to go because I had another commitment. He asks if we could take a picture. I thought it odd for a "first date" but I said ok.

He walks me to my car. I thank him for brunch. And then that awkward first moment comes (although I admit with other dates in my past, it wasn't awkward at all.). He says, "I had a great time...when can I see you again?" Don't know why, that little voice inside me decided to mess things up, but it nudged me, so I complied. "Ok, AJ, before I say yes and agree to another date, I need to ask you something one more time. You see, I don't normally make a new guy pay for the last guy's crimes, but I MUST ask you this."

"Sure" he says.
"Okay. Here goes. Are you sure you're single? I mean, not married, not separated, not in the middle of a divorce, not seeing anyone, no girlfriend (here or long-distance wise), not sort-of-seeing someone? Completely? - because the last man I dated told me he was single until the 3rd time we went out."

And then he drops the ball.

"Well, Judy, you know, I think you're so great...I mean really great. (Oh, God, here it comes...anytime someone begins a sentence with 'I think you're's not good) I didn't think you'd be so cool...but I am kind of seeing someone."
Ugh. Disgust. we go again.

"So how long are you kind of seeing someone?"
"A year and a half."
"Okay, that's not kind of seeing someone...that's called a girlfriend, my dear."
Drum roll please....

....and the EggHead of the Year, 2011 goes to....AJ

"So, why did you lie to me? Why did you even ask me out? Does your girlfriend know you're here?"

"I'm sorry, Judy..but how could I pass up a date with Judy Torres? It's cool, you know, go to my buddies and be like, 'yea, I went out with her once..."


....and the Supporting Egghead of the year awared goes to...AJ...


So, I got in my car, regretting I even let him take a picture with me. I drove away...and funniest thing, he called me today and left a message:
"Hey Judy, how are you, beautiful? I wanted to invite you to my girlfriend's birthday party this Saturday...blah, blah, blah."

Really? Seriously? Come on...
Freaking Egg Head!!

This is the strangest thing though. For the last month and a half, I have been very happy. And even though once in a blue moon, I feel a pang of loneliness...I'm not lonely. And I am sincerely happy with my life - with or without a man...And it is rare for me to feel that way....

So if you're single and frustrated about the dating scene, you are not alone. But here's my message: Never settle for anything just because you're lonely...and don't do booty calls either, lol. I am trying to get a rain check to see John & his show next week. Fingers crossed! Darn...gotta niece is calling me...goodnight!


  1. Judy,

    I love reading your blogs because they make me realize that my dilemna's and drama are shared...AJ is an idiot and I'm glad you listened to your inner voice and asked him before accepting a second date what his relationship status should read...smh...he's a loser but at least you didn't waste too much time on the fool. Thanks for posting a blog although you are very busy...I look forward to the next one!

  2. you need to go back to the people who told you he was a good guy and tell them that they are sadly mistaken. My mouth dropped as i read this story. I am so shocked! For someone in their late 30's, he acts like teenager.

  3. Good morning!! xoxo Bummer you met another liar!! ,,,, My only suggestion is to NEVER NEVER give out your private phone number on the 1st 2nd or even 3rd date!! USE EMAIL!!! Enjoy Titi time with your neice!! XOXOOXOX
    Leslie Michelle G

  4. Goodmorning Judy. It's so sweet of you to give your sister and mom a break from child care. You're an awesome Titi. I wish my nephew and nieces were here in NY they live in FLA. I miss them dearly..I agree a promise to a child should never be broken and if for some reason it has to be then you'd just have to make it up double time cause don't forget. Where the boys are someone waits for me. Where the boys are my true love will be (Connie Francis song). I'm sure you know the song. My mom named me after her. I'm sorry AJ turned out to be a JERK. The sad thing is that he knew who you were and that's why he asked you out. Now he has your pic. I am so angry at him. GOD don't like ugly. But you must believe that you will find that special man. What kind of man is he that he invitied you to his girlfriends party. OMG!!!He's more then a JERK, he's an A HOLE..I'll say it for you. Another jerk to add to my list. Judy I hope and pray that someday a man will see you for the wonderful woman you are and not just the celeb. Your Heart and generosity speaks in volumes. God Bless you. Have a wonderful weekend. Your prince will come someday.
    Love Ya,Connie

  5. I love that you are spending time with your niece's! I try my best to spend individual time with mine and its hard! But in the end it's worth it! That AJ is a BUTTHOLE! One day you will find prince charming. And thanks for this blog because I am still single and I do get lonely at times but then I turn to my family especially my nieces and nephews to fill that void because they love uncondtionally!! There is someone out there for US!! Keep that head up! :-)

  6. welcome back! lol i love John as well but i think he would understand that you made a commitment to your niece, so no worries i think you'll get that rain check. and you are soo nice to be with your niece for the week. i have a half brother who is older than me and i wonder if he has any kids so i can be a Titi too but i wouldn't know because i never met him yet. but you are truly one of the best aunts out there. now to AJ....please don't get me started on this one....but i am going to anyway. (see this is when the ghetto diva side of me comes out for stupid ish ppl do haha) yes like angellovef said he seems like a big ol' teenager who needs to get a clue and a life! i don't get some of these guys nowadays. and you just gotta love those inner voices right? lol they always come in handy. don't worry your are not alone because i am too still single and our prince charming will come in no time. love ya amiga!! xoxo