Cleaning up clutter can do amazing things; not just for the space you're clearing but for your soul too! I've spent the last few days REALLY clearing out things...like Peter Walsh, the de-cluttering/organization expert: remove EVERYTHING out of the room, ask yourself what your vision of the room is; what mood would you like to to convey; then in two piles (keep and not keep). It is pretty awesome that,in life, if you leave yourself open enough, you will see that answers fall right on your lap. It's like when you are almost broke, feeling horrible, and one day you reach into the coat pocket...and BAM, there's a $20 bill! Well, I was feeling a bit lost, and I was throwing LOTS of paper away, I found this email a friend sent me from 2005 (2005 really? Yes, lol, really!)...and BAM...there it was - some things I needed to be reminded of. Here's the email:
"HEAR WHAT OPRAH HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN..."
If a man wants you, nothing will keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then, heck no, you can't "be friends." A friends wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying...
The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU...Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't ever make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has a better education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he's cheated WITH you, he'll cheat ON you. A man will only treat you in the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage...Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you are always readily available to him - he takes you for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything you need..."
Actually, I believe this message rings true for both sexes (Men, just place a "she" in place of the "he." There are some truths here...
Well, I hope this gives us something to really think about - it made me take a hard look at myself. I'll leave you with this quote from the book "He's Just Not That Into You.":
"Beware of the word "friend". It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep."