Friday, October 8, 2010


Had another date this evening...with a new man.  Yes, I have decided a will do the dating game until I begin to feel a true connection with someone, and then I will be a committed girlfriend.  In my past, as soon as I'd met someone, he immediately became my boyfriend, and well, because of my desire to have a boyfriend, I chose the wrong ones.  This blog is beginning to become a magazine editorial called, "Single in the City!"  LOL.  Anyway, he is aware that I keep a blog and has given me permission to discuss the date, etc, but in respect for his privacy I am limited to what I can mention...BUT...

We will call him Wall St. Guy...older than me by 5 years. Hm, I just realized it's been a while since I've dated a man older than me. The men I date tend to me my age or younger (NOOOO I am NOT  a cougar!! LOL).  Wall St. Guy, well he works on Wall Street and is an entepreneur.  Quite frankly, he's different.  VERY different.  Okay, I have to fess up here. I met him online. Yes, I know. LOL. Handsome man, tall, very athletic...runs in marathons. The second I saw him, I realized that he was "out of my league". I don't mean it in the sense that I don't deserve him or anything like that. But he basically looked like Jeff Bridges....piercing blue eyes, blond hair...but his facial expressions...all Jeff Bridges.  He is highly intelligent, has an incredible vocabulary.  In fact, when I got home tonight, I had to run to the dictionary to find out what "premontories" meant, lol.  Wall St. Guy was a gentleman. But everything he is - I am not.  From his fashion sense to some of the topics we covered, we were clearly very different...but it was nice to feel challenged, and as my friends have recently encouraged me - it was nice to explore new avenues.  Wall St. Guy has NO idea who I am...that was nice too.  The best thing about him?  The way he treated me.  He was kind, he was respectful, he was truly interested in every thing I said.  And...he complimented the crap out of me! LOL...apparently, he is only attracted to BBW - Big Beautiful Women! I know people always put their best foot forward, but he was sincere...I could see that.  He even admitted before he took me home, that we are on opposite sides of the spectrum...but that he would see me again in a heartbeat.  We'll see where it goes...

And then...

I decided to stop at the supermarket for a couple of groceries. I chose to walk because it was a good night, and I was in the mood.  It wasn't even 10:30pm...I began walking up the hill to get home, and this Hispanic man was sitting on a stoop.

"Oye, mami!  Ps, Ps, Ps." he exclaimed, using a sound that I call letting-the-air-out-of-the-tires.
"Oye, mami! You need help with your bags?"

Now if you're a man, please let me explain what happens in a woman's mind:
If I am nice to him, and acknowledge him = he may think I am interested (which I am not)
If I ignore him, and pay him no mind         = I'm a bitch, and now I have to pay a price by being called all sorts of things..

So what did Judy Torres do?  You know me by now, I'm sure.

"No, I don't need help.  Thank you." I gave him a very small and slightly dismissive smile.

I didn't think it was a big have been cat-calling since women walked by the caveman's cave.  I just continued to walk home. I had about 2 blocks to go.  I felt something...He was behind me.  He was walking directly behind me.  He was followng me.

"Hey, mami!  I'm talking to you...don't be a pendeja!" (I forget what pendeja means, but you never want to be labeled with that name, lol).  He was making me a little nervous...He was getting too close.

If we were to rewind this scene ten years ago, I would have walked faster, perhaps run...anything to get away from this man..
Fast forward to present.

I turned my head around so much that Linda Blair in the Exorcist would've been impressed!

I yelled in a way I had never heard myself yell.  It was as if any anger I had toward being mistreated and disrespect for the last 42 years were poured on to him. 

 "I know you did not call me a asshole!  Get the fuck away from me - you hear me!  Don't fucking try me...I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS - you hear?"

I SO wish you were there to see his face.  Wow. Even I shocked myself. He was mystified. His jaw dropped and he stopped dead in his tracks.  He was in disbelief...and so was I. 

I witnessed a lot of abuse as a child, and I put up with a lot of stuff...I tolerated mistreatment, disrespect, violence. I was put down, neglected, abused...and as a child I had no voice; I was powerless. I was in survival mode.  Today I was in survival mode too. It could have been a bad situation...but today I am not a child. I am a woman!  I do have a voice...and thank God, today for the first time, I found my power!!  I have to tell you, as I walked away, as I entered my home, I smiled.  It felt good...I stood up for myself.  It felt good to reclaim my power, to yell because I was angry, instead of cry or cower in fear.  Yea. It - felt - GOOD!   


  1. Good for you Judy! Don't let anyone get in your space like that. You did the right thing!

  2. YOU GOOO GIRL!!!!! I'm soo proud of you!!!! I'm glad you spoke up like you did....

  3. LOL!!! oh hell no!!! I am cracking up! I am grateful to God that you got home safe because Judy there are alot of wackos out there. It's hard for me to tell you what the right thing was because damn if you didnt say anything and damn if you did (because he could have hurt you). I know that sometimes it is hard just to walk away and stay quite because I hate when men do I'm a damn lose cat they're looking for, but geesh..please be careful. However, on another note..I know exactly how you felt because I have done what you did..I was even ready to knuckle up with a man ( and feeling like "yeah, yeah whats up..F with me mofo!"!..aww I am happt to hear that Mr Wall Street put a smile on your face..thats probably what else supped your crazy butt uo too.,lol!...he sounds promising, but like you said..take it one day at a time..there is no rush (lik when you were younger) waited 2 years, you can wait just a little bit, before you open up your heart up to him. I am sure he will definitely understand especially if he is "the one" you much! and God Bless

  4. Ooooooo Judy I know that’s right mama!! Lol you tell that fool how you really get down. I could not stop laughing tho. I hate when that happens cuz it happens to me all the time! Even when I was like 15 the pervs started to do it then. It’s like why are they trying to bring the ghetto side out of a sweet woman smh lol. You should feel proud for speaking your mind. You were brave as hell cuz you were alone and who knew what he was capable of. And I’m like part of two Spanish families so if I’m not mistaken, I may be wrong just taking a wild guest of what I remember, I believe pendeja means moron or idiot of some sort. Not sure but I that’s what I think it is, could be wrong tho. As for Wall St. Guy, he seems like quite the gentleman. There’s nothing wrong with trying the online thing cuz I’m actually doing it as well, just gotta be really careful. He sounds so yummy lol. Glad you had a good time with him. I’m glad you’re happy again. As for the other guy, haha no comment cuz I’ll just be ready to cut a fool up! Love ya!

  5. APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE CHEERING SCREAMING HOOTIN HOLLERING. OMG! BRAVO TO YOU for standing up and using your voice. Great job. He had the nerve to follow you like an animal. People are just dumb. It takes a strong woman to do what you did.

    And as for Wall Street Guy, or any guy for that matter, you are not out of any man's league. They have to batter up to your league. if that makes sense. I'm not into baseball, but you get the point, right? LOL.

  6. WOW Judy! Congrats on the date and good luck in your future dates with Wall St. guy. Maybe your decision to take it slow will give you a better outcome? I think it's good that you guys are so different though. That way the both of you can learn new and different things you've not experienced yet! And I agree with angellove about no man being out of your league!! That's just a crock of sh*t and you know it.

    As for the rude dickhead on the street...well, I was LMAO @ what you yelled at him. You probably scared him when you started shouting the "F-Bomb" at him! I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself,because Lord knows what this lunatic could of done if you hadn't!! But please be careful...don't go getting all gangsta on everyone that looks at you funny now!! hahaha
    Take care Judy, can't wait for your next post. And good luck and be blessed in all that you do.
    *Hugz*~ Bub

  7. Hi Judy: I'm glad your feeling better enough to go out. That's a good sign. YOU GO GIRL. I'm soooo glad your safe. I'm thankful that that stupid man left you alone after you cursed his ass out. The stiuation could have been worse. Another date that's it Judy you wait for noone. If men can do it why not woman. I love it. You meet him online, cool. My uncle meet his now wife online and I have friends that meet their mates online as well. It does work, but be super careful sometimes these men are not who they say they are. Judy you do whateve you feel is right for YOU. cause trust me waiting at home isn't going to bring them to you. That why I was single for 15yrs I didn't go online or hangout at clubs/bars I was afraid. I've been hurt to many times and like you when I love its for real. Anyway sweetheart I'm happy you had a nice time with Mr. Wall st and your not out of your league he's out of his.LOLOLO. You are amazing and wonderful. You deserve the best of the best. If he's willing to see you again then go for it. But don't put all your eggs into one basket. Keep dating, cause you never know if you pasted up a good man cause you were with Mr.Wall st. Have fun and keep enjoying the NOW!!!!!
    Love You,

  8. wow!! The very FIRST thing that came to my mind is why didn't Wall Street guy DRIVE YOU HOME??? Second, is this the first time you walked ALONE AT NIGHT in your neighborhood?? PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN!! I was scared for you and yes I KNOW YOU ARE FROM THE BRONX but he could have had a gun or knife!!

    Wall Street guy sounds nice and good luck with him. Opposites attract?? lol. Still I say he could have driven you to your door.

    Love Leslie XOXOX

  9. Your too funny Judy. I cant imgagine anyone calling u a pendeja and getting away with it. I can picture it know. I dont think so with the attitude going. Love it. Kick asss.

    Love you sweeite.

  10. happy to hear your are dating a nice guy and he will keep you on your toes. As cliche as it may seem opposites do attract! As for the dumb ass that called you a pendeja... well he got what he deserved!! Some men are really stupid, did he really think that he was getting your number by calling you PENDEJA! Que estupido! I say WEEEPPPPAAAAA, BUT never do that again because it could have turned ugly and you were alone.

    LUV YA

  11. Was this all the same night? I'm so sorry that JERK scared you, I would've probably sh!t my pants :( I'm so proud that you scared him off, good for you Judy BUT still please don't walk at that time again. Have it delivered OR just drive a few blocks it's not worth it. Wall Street guy is a Jeff Bridges look alike???? NIIIIICE! Jeff Bridges and Kurt Russell always looked like the type of men that would take care of a LADY ;) I'm glad you enjoyed the challenge, and hey, if the company was above average why not do it again? it's a free dinner lol worst case you have that extra drink to ease the pain lol and then the next day is a new day!!!!