REALITY? REALLY?

The other day, I received an email from one of my agents informing me that I would be receiving a call from a producer from a VERY popular network (which shall go unnamed until I know it's happening). Why? That's when he told me that these producers have been in communication with him for some time now about putting a reality show depicting the lives of freestyle artists, both professionally & personally, and the relationships with their agents.

Deep down, I had always hoped we, the freestyle artists, could somehow document our stories because I believe you would be shocked & disturbed by what you would see. When we think of recording artists, there are immediate images in our minds: limousines, stylists, the best clothes, jewelry, gowns, concerts, getting the "star" treatment, jet-setting to different countries and finally, money. But those are the MAJOR LABEL RECORDING ARTISTS who are selling so many recordings that they go platinum. Those are the Beyonces, Lady Gagas, Rihannas, Pitbulls & Ushers of the industry. And those artists work VERY hard for their successes...so I am not putting them down. But what about other artists who are simply trying to stay in the light, simply trying to stay in the public eye? That's who I believe, sometimes we are. When I go to schools to speak to kids about making their dreams come true, I almost always get the same questions first, before getting questions that MEAN something: "Do you have a mansion? What kind of car do you drive? Do you have a pool?" Sometimes I just laugh inside, because isn't that what this society teachers us to aspire to? But sometimes, the questions sting a little. They get under my skin because my answer is 'no.' I do not have a mansion, nor do I have a pool - I can't even stretch out my legs in my own bathtub!! I have a car, (which I love) but it's not the Bentley they hope I own.

Truth is that many of us had our shining moments - at some point we were on the verge of going Pop/Top 40. Many of us like George Lamond, Sa-Fire, Lissette Melendez & especially Lisa-Lisa, did make the big leagues but it was short-lived - because of the birth of hip-hop & other "political" issues out of our control. And to this day whenever I see those artists & TKA/K7, I feel like they have been overlooked, shortchanged and denied the recognition that they should truly get & should have gotten. And so, when you go to one of our freestyle concerts, you would think there would be a lot of glamour....sometimes there is, in truth, we do see that from time to time. But what you don't see is the drama. You don't see the arguements that sometimes ensue because a promoter decides to pay us less, or not at all. You don't see the crazy chaos that sometimes occurs backstage just before you go on, or how sick one may feel at a show. You see the facade - the glamorous part - you see the finished product.

I'm not complaining by any means. I have been ABSOLUTELY BLESSED to say I have made my dream to be a singer come true - and it has lasted a quarter of a century, 25 great years. I simply think that we too, like many others, have a great story to tell.

So I spoke to the producers & had a conference call...I discovered that they are interviewing 7 freestyle artists but are only picking 5. (Shhh - it's a secret). I was asked interesting questions like: is there anyone you don't get along with? What kind of problems occur? I am not sure they were interested until I told them something that NO ONE knows about. Truth is that since February, I have been living in a bit of a silent hell - I have not been able to speak about it...I promise you that I will, but only when I know I can. But when I told them, they became very intrigued and asked me to send them some video. So, right from my iphone, I sent them a self-recorded video. They said they loved me on camera & in a few weeks, they'll be in town to finish a pilot...If the pilot is approved, we will have a reality show...and we will finally be able to show you all we do in the name of music, in the name of love for our fans, and in the name of integrity!

They explained to me that people will be in my house recording my every move...hm, then I felt sudden hesitance. Really? I mean I am no Kardashian, know what I mean? I am not in perfect clothing with a great face made up. I'm not living in some fancy penthouse...lol. And I've seen the results that reality shows have on some people. For some it's brought them fame & notoriety - and for others, it's ruined their lives. But when I think about it, it could be a great thing - to show the truth, and to teach the masses more about freestyle music - which, unless you are from NY or urban cities such as Chicago or Miami, many do not even know about the freestyle movement! So, I have prayed about it, and I know that if God thinks it's a great thing for me to do, it will happen and it will be successful. Only time will tell...hmmmm!!!

STAND BY YOUR MAN

So it was December, 2011 - just one week shy of Christmas. Things with the Quiet One were going splendidly well...and then, well, something happened to him...something that had already happened to so many of my friends and what has happend to SO many others. He told me he was laid off. The unemployment club had now included my own boyfriend. I felt devastated FOR him. The Quiet One is a very skilled man, member of a union with years of experience in his craft. When he told me about it, I did what any woman would do: I stood by my man. The Quiet One had done so much for me already - it surely is NO ONE's fault when they are unexpectedly laid off due to budget issues. I knew it would be hard, but it would be harder because it was SO close to the holidays. I was suddenly flown back to December,1999.

From 1999 - 2001, I was a member of the KTU Morning Show. My role on the show was not the major role I had hoped for. Nor did I ever honestly get used to waking up at 4am. But nonetheless, I LOVED being there every morning & I was proud to be there. I was especially proud to be on the air on that tragic day of 9/11. I was humbled & extremely moved by how humanity & love survived...and I was honored to call in & report to KTU while on site at Ground Zero. So it was December 22nd, I believe. We were on the air for four hours, and had just signed off. We, the members of the morning show, made a big deal out of the fact we were going on vacation. "Have a GREAT Christmas everyone! We'll see you next year." We had all hugged one another. We all had smiles on our faces. It would be an entire week of vacation - and we needed it. But we had no idea it would be our last broadcast.

We were literally walking out the door, when our program director (at that time), said, "Hold on...before you go, I need to see you guys." At times I tend to be quite gullible, optimistic & naive...this was one of those times. I thought he was calling us in one by one to give us a Christmas bonus -so there I sat, waiting with a stupid smile on my face - while the others stared at the wall with dread. Out of 6 of us, only 2 would remain. I was shaking when I left the office. I was grateful that I would still have a job at KTU hosting my Freestyle Free For All on Sundays - but I was SO devastated to know that it would be my last day on the morning show. And right before Christmas!!! Suddenly I panicked. I called my mother, hysterical. My mother, of course, took the it-will-be-alright-you-don't-need-that-stress attitude. All I could think of was feeling that I was not "liked" on radio anymore and that I would not be able to do that Christmas shopping I had planned to do that very day. Now that extra money would have to be saved for a many rainy day. But I did indeed survive it all...and I'm still "liked" on KTU...as I will celebrate 15 years of being on the air this summer! But I knew EXACTLY how the Quiet One was feeling.

I assured him over and over again that he would find another job. I told him that God can never give him a better job, unless He cleared him from the one he already had. But I know how men feel. Most men equate their self-worth with what living they make; they feel proud to know they can "take care" of their family, or their woman. They also need to feel that they're filling a purpose - we all need that. So, the Quiet One nodded his head and was very upset that he couldn't buy me the one BIG Christmas gift he'd planned to buy me with the pay check he was supposed to receive. I told him I didn't need a big gift. I told him that HE was my gift...that God had given me EXACTLY what I wanted: a good man who respects me, cherishes who I am, who could care less that I sing, and who would honor me and be loyal. I'd take that any day over any piece of jewelry or a Kindle (lol...he knew I wanted a Kindle badly, lol).

So on Christmas, we took a ride to my visit my mom. And I was so proud of him. He helped set the table. He played with my nieces and later when we all sang my favorite Christmas carol, Carol of the Bells, he sang along as well. He was a GREAT sport! The magical moment came later on. I could not find him at all...and then I saw it. There he was, hands flying around in animated conversation. And who was he with? All 3 brothers & one uncle...they were talking and laughing. I walked into the kitchen where they were to listen in on the convo, when he said to me, "Sorry, honey, it's a guy thing." I laughed & walked out...and I felt proud. He doesn't believe me, but to see my boyfriend hanging out with my brothers and laughing - that was the best gift I could have ever received. After dessert, we took the ride home & cuddled on the sofa watching the Good Elf, or something like that. He apologized for not being able to give that big gift...but told me my gift was in the stocking. He had given me two pairs of the softest, coziest socks and two GORGEOUS pairs of EARRINGS! What was he talkng about? It was a perfect Christmas....I FINALLY am with someone who is REAL...

Fast forward to Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, the Quiet One STILL had not been able to find a job in his field, or even a different job altogether...and he was beginning to panic. I had to keep him calm...if we both panicked, it would make this bump in the road even worse. We kept Valentine's Day VERY simple. The Quiet One gave me a beautiful card, chocolate and he cooked my favorite dinner...I don't know what he calls it, but it's a delicious Italian dish with pasta, chicken, tomatoes and quiet ingredients, lol. He also baked me a lemon cake with a buttercream frosting, my favorite. We watched all our favorite tv shows & cuddled all night long...

Losing a job can be paralyzing, terrifying & can literally shake your foundation. But I am proud of him - he has NEVER quit. He has NEVER given up and he has NOT taken it out on me. That's what I'm most proud of him for. When people are under acute and high stress, it is easy to become quick tempererd and snap at the ones we love. Suddenly, under that type of pressure, it become easy to make the one you love a target and begin arguing about senseless things. But the Quiet One never changed. I love him for that. I am VERY proud of him. The fact is that since the job never came to him, he went to the job. Today, he has begun his own business & last week landed his first client. Last night, he landed a second! He's a good man and I have NO doubt, he will do well...and I love him. I really love him. So ladies if and when your man loses his job, or something truly meaningful to him - although you may want to get angry and panic...don't. Be his rock for a change, believe in him & his abilities, pray and then stand by your man!

INVADED BY HECKLERS!!!

Back in November, I blogged about my concern for my safety at times when I perform and I briefly mentioned that there were two specific incidents when I feared for my life. I received a few requests from some of the readers here, asking me to tell the story of such times...so here is one episode.

It was about 23 years ago or so. I had a show,Brooklyn, NY, at a club called "Club Invasion." It was a small place in Brooklyn, alongside an el by the train. I was performing on stage, doing my thing, just trying to entertain - when out of the blue some guy starts heckling me, making fun of my weight. This was a common occurence for me back then. I had grown used to it. But I had also grown quite tired of it. Thanks to Angel, original vocalist of the Cover Girls, I had learned that sometimes being a bit sassy with a heckler could pay off. She was spunky on stage, and always had a great comeback when she encountered a heckler. I had just recently used my I-may-be-chunky-but-I'm-Funky line, and it had benefited me...me and the audience had a good laugh. Ever since then, a lot of the heckling had come to a hault. Except for this time.

The heckling began, and I chose to ignore it as I had done so often in the past. And then two more men joined him and two more after that. So, I had had enough...and I counter-heckled. I don't remember what I said, but I know I said something about them being deficient in their manhood, and the crowd howled, "Ooooh..." The men immediately stopped. The bouncers grabbed them, and began to escort them out. I told the bouncers to leave them alone, but they were quickly ejected from the club. And on went the show.

When we left, I was with my first manager, George Vascones. We were sitting in the limousine, when the driver realized he had been underpaid, and went inside the club to get it taken care of. Our limo was not the only one...there were two more: one behind us, and one after us. We were in a bit of a rush, because we were planning to go to La Mirage in the Bronx to hang out a little bit. As we waited, I heard men calling my name. "Judy! Yo, Judy! Where are you?" At first, I thought it was a fan. I smiled at George, and he smiled back. Little did we know that the driver had left the limo doors open with the car running. Then suddenly, I heard someone say, "Yo! She's in here." And in an instant, two men jumped in the front and three in the back.

My eyes widened with shock. They were the same men who had heckled me and had been thrown out of the club. Their immaturity was larger than I thought - God forbid they recognize that they acted like jerks in the club. We were dealing with people unable to take responsibility for their actions - so what was going to happen now? I was in serious shock. I looked at my manager with disbelief. He was quiet. He showed no fear. He held his hand up to me as to say, "No worries, Judy. I GOT THIS!" George was a tenth degree black belt. I had faith in him. He'd never let me down before. But my heart was flyng, and the adrenaline began to pump through my veins...I was in fight or flight mode.

Fight or flight is a term in psychology: When we perceive a significant threat to us, then our bodies get ready either for a fight to the death or a desperate flight from certain defeat by a clearly superior adversary. Men and women tend to deal with stressful situations differently. Males are more likely to respond to an emergency situation with aggression (fight), while females are more likely to flee (flight), turn to others for help...

I did the math VERY quicky. Five guys against me and my manager. I tried to not show fear. I assessed my surroundings. Damn. The car was running...George hushed me again with his hand, but all I kept thinking was 'five guys. FIVE!' And then the unthinkable happened. They took off in the car...with me and George inside!! They took the limo!! I lost it. I never screamed because I had no voice. It felt like those nightmares you have when you're trying to scream for your life, but nothing will come out. Except this was real. I wondered where would they take us? Were they just trying to scare us? What were they planning to do? Steal money from us?...rape me? That last thought spurred a knee jerk, life-saving reaction. I thought, "Oh, HELL NO! I'm not going to let anyone do that to me (again - another blog another time)...and without thinking twice, I found my courage. I pushed one of them out of the way, and jumped out of the moving car. I landed onto the cold, wet street, right under the train tracks with cars coming my way. Thankfully, they dodged me. I stood up, skinned knees, skinned hands...but I was intact, and I was alive. And then I realized my mistake. Oh, my God! I left George in the limo by himeself with those asses. I hated myself. I felt the most selfish I had ever felt in my life. I looked up...and approximately two blocks later, I saw George's body tumble out of the limo...but the belt from his trenchcoat was caught in the door, and it dragged him just a bit, but I screamed, "George...help...someone help!!" He broke free and we limped over to each other. "I TOLD you I had them..." "I'm sorry, George, I just panicked I guess." Panic will make you do stupid things...including run. We put our arms around each other...we asked each other repeatedly if we were okay. When I look back, we looked kind of hilarious, limping, bleeding...but we were together...and we were laughing at the crazy courage we had to jump out of a moving car.

We got back to the club just to find that the doors had been locked. We banged repeatedly on the door. Keep in mind, back then, there were no cell phones. After almost 10 minutes of banging on the door, they finally opened it and we told them or our dangerous tale. They let us use the phone, where we called the police who quickly came to take a report and found the limo dumped and trashed about three quarters of a mile away. The driver was astonished, very upset that he might get into trouble for leaving the car running. What was so funny was that I wasn't so upset about my knees and hands bleeding - I was more upset about he mirrors that broke in my make up bag, lol.

George and I went to La Mirage later on, despite our scare...we danced, we laughed and then we wondered if it was a set up because the club ironically had their doors locked...and they never did find the guys who stole the car. Hm. So what was the lesson? Be mindful of who you heckle back, and NEVER leave a car running if you are NOT the driver. To this day, I freak out if I'm left alone in a car that's running....and I hate being alone in any car. Oh, by the way, I was invaded at Club Invasions...Club Invasions no longer exists...but I do!!!!!

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS...

So the Quiet One and I have been together for just over 7 months now! It's gone by so quiclky and yet there have been moments that have gone by in slow motion.

The tree at Rockerfeller Center...

If I don't see that tree every year, I feel incomplete. The tradition of that tree in the city has probably been around longer than I've been alive. Maybe I've seen too many holiday movies, or perhaps I am an even mushier romantic during Christmas, but I always had a fantasy about what going to Rockerfeller Center with a boyfriend would be like. I always imagined seeing the tree, the two of us making goo-gooly eyss at each other. Then we would embrace, kiss, and hold each other as if no one was around. I imagined us having an original New York pretzel, maybe a hot chocolate, and looking at the store front windows that are SO fantastic at Christmastime!! I just wanted a memory like that seared into my brain to take with me when I should ever go into a senior home when I turn 90...

Sure, I've gone to see the tree with past boyfriends. My fantasy was never played out. They would take me there, and they would take the "mandatory" photo of us, and next thing I knew I was on my way headed home. And they would say, "What? You saw the tree, you got the picture - what more do you want?"

Last night the Quiet One and I went to see the Tree at Rockerfeller Center...it was probably the only night we could do it together since I didn't have a show. We decided to park in a lot, because if you've never been to New York City, the parking signs are SO confusing that you will most likely receive a ticket. We walked down 49th Street and all the excitement was there - the children ooh'ing and aah'ing - taking pictures with second-hand costumed Mickey Mouses, SpongeBob's and the like! Right across the street from Radio City were the gigantic Christmas balls in red, silver and a King Kong sized display of multi-colored Christmas lights. Police were EVERYWHERE directing traffic, PEOPLE traffic, not just cars. As we got close to the tree, the Quiet One said, "You ready, baby? We're almost there!! Ready..." And there is was. As grand and as large as it can be! The happiest place in New York City is right there. Of course we could barely even walk, but it didn't matter - we were there, and he was wonderful about it! He asked to take a picture of me in front of the tree, and we took one of ourselves - after all, it's our FIRST Christmas together! And then, he stayed there. I couldn't believe, he didn't say to me, "Okay, let's get outta here - it's too crazy!" He wrapped his arms around me, and just like the movie, I exhaled. We kissed, yep, right there...no shame. Then he bought me roasted cashews & a pretzel, and we held hands..and although it was cold, I felt warm. We watched the MOST beautiful video display that is given on the side of Saks Fifth Avenue...God bless the person who thought of it. It was SO gorgeous that I cried. The Quiet One asked if I was alright,and I told him I cannot come here and not feel overwhelmed with the beauty and magic of Christmas here. He hugged me tighter, and we began walking away - one whole entire big, block away, when he asked me, "Did you want to do anything else?" I did, but I thought we'd already walked too far...that one block took us almost 10 minutes to walk because of the mass of people that had collected. So, I said, "Well, kind of, but that's okay...we're too far now." "Tell me, what did you want to do?" "Well," I confessed, "I wanted to see some of the store windows on 5th Avenue." "Okay." And without hesitation, he took my hand and to 5th Avenue we went. I thanked him...I still don't think he understands how much that meant to me. I'll cherish it forever!

Then he met my father and his wife a couple of months ago...Words that can describe my father would be: strong, opinionated, stubborn and old-world macho...so I had no idea what would happen. We were at dinner, my father telling stories of what I was like as a child, and there they were, smiling at one another. A moment that will stay with me forever was one I saw in slow motion. As my father was trying to get out of the car, I saw the Quiet One, come over, hold the door open and gently helped my father up. My father, now 80, doesn't feel 80, I'm sure...but his knees remind him, and it's painful for him to push up. The Quiet One did it in a way that was kind, but appropriate. He made my father feel good about it, not weird. I was very proud of him. My father is an EXCELLENT cook, and he made both of us flan (Spanish style custard)...but the Quiet One HATES flan! Not a good thing...it's like going to an Italian's house, and telling them you hate pasta! But the Quiet One was honest with my father, and later, my father admitted he liked his honesty. Cool.

Next test to pass: Dinner at my mother's with my three brothers, sister and three nieces. As soon as he got to my mom's house, my mom asked him to put something up for her. He was kind, eager and very helpful the entire day. Dinner at my mom's with my whole family is always a lot of fun, because there is so much laughter, chaos and friendly dysfunction. We were all sitting there...and the Quiet One is, well, sometimes, very quiet. He's a bit shy at first...but he does fine all by himself. When dinner was over, he was immediately washing dishes, collecting dishes...he's just the BEST! Later on, when I couldn't find him in the kitchen, he was playing with my nieces and they were giggling...he is a father already but he's a natural with children!!! I caught myself wondering what it would be like to be married to him, and wishing I met him so long ago!!

All I have EVER wanted for Christmas was to meet the man I'd like to spend my life with. All I have ever wanted was to feel TRULY loved, respected, and wanted. All I ever wanted was to KNOW that I can trust who I'm with - that I don't have to second guess myself...All I have ever wanted for Christmas was a REAL GOOD MAN!! It won't really matter what presents I get this year. For the first time in such a LONG time, I am H.A.P.P.Y!!! I am at peace. I realize that in the past, my past boyfriends were like a drug addiciton - not knowing if they would cheat or not, kept me awake at night. I was addicted to the drama of it...and I waited for the next high, and they would mess up, and I'd go into withdrawal. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat...

This kind of love is peaceful. It is a calm I've never experienced before. I'm not used to it, but I sleep like a baby every night. This kind of love is reassuring, it's uplifting...it makes me feel like I am a complete person, and I have more than enough to offer a man. This kind of love is a real love...it's from God, I"m sure...All I want for Christmas is the Quiet One's wonderful love!!!! I know you're sick with my corny, mushy stuff...but I swear, it's SO awesome, and SO worth it!! And for Christmas, I wish you the very same: a love that lifts you, that loves, you, that respects you, that honors you, that makes you feel worthy of everything good!!!

FREESTYLE FREE FOR ALL & FRIENDS! NOV 5TH, 2011 - TAJ MAHAL A.C., NJ

I had a show in Philadelphia the night before, November 4th. It was a great show, but a long night. On my way upstairs I asked my road manager for my music that he left in the car. He didn't want to go back downstairs: "Judy, they already have the showtape for tomorrow, so you don't need it." I argued, "Yes, David, but if something goes wrong, I need back up." He didn't budge, and I admittedly was feeling too tired to argue with him. I arrived home from the show at 3am. I already knew I would be sleep deprived because I had to be up at 8:30am in order to arrive at my soundcheck on time. Walked through the door, took off my still sweaty clothes, wiped off the tons of black mascara from my eyes, threw on a t-shirt and went to bed...

Almost 10 minutes later, just as I began to have my first dream, my house phone rang. Who the heck would be calling at this ungodly hour? It was my road manager, "Yo, Judy, you gotta call the driver...call the driver..." He was ranting with incomplete sentences. "David, what happened?" "The driver left me." What do you mean 'the driver left me'?" "I mean...the driver stopped for gas, and I told him I would be right back. I went into the store, came out...and yo, he was GONE!" I immediately got on the phone, called the limo company's owner and told him what had occurred. Wow, I thought, that driver is probably almost at David's house...without David. The owner called me back, and told me, "Hey, Judy, Mike knows about David, and is on his way back to the gas station." And then it happened -

A little gurgle of laughter began to rise out from my stomach...

I could just imagine David standing there...This very large, muscular guy coming out of the store with some sort of food in his hand, and then with his mouth agape...thinking, "Oh s...t! Where's the freaking limo?" LOL.

I called David back to let him know that the driver was returning to his rescue. LOL. I began to laugh...and I didn't stop for almost ten minutes...I'm not exaggerating. I would be severely sleep deprived now, but damn, that laughter was ALL worth it! Everytime I thought of him standing there in complete disbelief that the driver was there, I lost it. Then it hit me. That's what he gets for refusing to get my music back to me. Karma is funny.

I got back to my bed. Closed my eyes. Ten minutes later - screaming coming from the park down the street. She was screaming as if she was being hurt, but then when I heard the screaming followed by her laughter, well, I didn't find it funny at all. The immature teen kept me up. It was 4:30 when I finally fell asleep. Oh, well.

I woke up, and out of sheer determination (and excitement - The Quiet One was going with me), I woke up with tons of energy. Or was it adrenaline? I arrived at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City a little early, so the Quiet One and I decided to play slots for a minute. And in about two minutes of playing with just $20, I was $60 richer. Cool. We went to the theater for soundcheck, and there was Aby, Tony & Angel, formerly of TKA, on stage doing their thing. It had been a long time since I'd seen them on stage. Afterward, I see a red-head on stage, and for a second I wondered, 'Who is this girl?' And in just 5 seconds of her first song, I was catapulted back to the 80's, and instantly realized it was 80's teen heart throb, Tiffany! She began singing, I Think We're Alone Now, and I had a smile on my face. And then The Quiet One turned to me, and innocently asked, "Who is she?" There are times when I don't realize our 12 year age difference...and then there are times like these, that I think, "Oh, my God...I am SO much older than he is!" So I briefly educated him...and she began to do her next song, "Could've Been". I cried. Yep, right there during her sound check. I cried because, to be completely honest, I have not heard a voice sound as pure as hers in my life!! Take out Could've Been if you still own it on a 45" and give it a listen one more time. Her vocal range, power and tone are simply amazing, and I just could NOT believe that I was witnessing this with my own ears, in person. Sabrina, a member of the Cover Girls, had the same look on her face, and I took comfort in knowing I wasn't alone in my sentiment.

Well, it was showtime, and I was excited...and I was tired. I honestly wasn't even sure I would have a voice to get through the show. If I don't have enough sleep, I simply don't have enough voice either. But I took a nap before the show, drank something like 3 cups of coffee and three cups of tea & sucked on lozenges like a woman dying of thirst. I got to watch Tiffany perform again, and I just felt like, 'I have to meet this girl!" I went on right after Tiffany...and I was just elated at the thought that I could say, "Yes, I peformed with Tiffany...I even went on right after her." To me, that was a highlight of my career!

Funny little story. I was truly stressing about what I would wear for this show. I ended up purchasing a leopard print, one piece jumpsuit. It was simple, but it was comfortable, and I thought it was flattering. As long as I dressed itup with a lot of cool accessories great shoes, it would work. When I was getting ready for the show, and The Quiet One saw me, he asked me something he had never asked before: "Um, is that what you're wearing for the show?" "Um, YES, why?" "Well, it kind of looks like something you would sleep with ...it looks like something you would have worn in like the 80's." I was too nervous to even take in the comment. But just before I went on, I thought it would be useful for the show.

The emcee who introduced me was AMAZING! He gave me such an incredible introduction that the crowd was on their feet!! Wow! I wish I remembered it because I would have thanked the man myself! The crowd was ON THEIR FEET and I didn't even walk on yet. It's so exciting, so exhilarating and So SCARY!!! Now, that I have them on their feet, I somehow have to keep them standing! Pressure! I walked on with a smile that no one could ever erase! When you see the people standing, looking with hope in their eyes, you have to smile! These are moments that will be ingrained and burned into my memory for the rest of my life, so it has to count! So I began to sing and the dancers of T.R.U.E. dance company came on and joined me. They are simply amazing and determinged kids, for whom dance is such a passion! One of the dancers, Gia, stole the show! I was doing my chest pump dance move, and as the dancers were clearing the stage, she remained there, tapped me on the shoulder, and totally out-danced me...and then another dancer came back on stage, and literally picked her up and took her off stage. I heard the crowd laugh and applaud, and I thought, 'yeaaaa! She did it!' The crowd cheered, applauded so loudly, I got chills!! Didn't want to get off, but there were more people to be heard, lol.

My girl, my friend, the woman I look up to, Lisa-Lisa, was up next. As I was passing her on the stairs, she appeared upset. "Lisa, you ok?" I asked her. "My voice...it's just not there today." I want to take a moment to share something with you. If you are not a singer, most people say, "Oh, just drink some tea with honey & lemon." LOL Yes, tea with honey and lemon aer helpful, but sometimes it's not the cure-all you think it is. There is nothing more depressing and anxiety inducing for a singer than knowing your voice is not up to par. And when you are performing at a HUGE venue, where people have paid LOTS of money to see you sing JUST LIKE THEY REMEMBER, you feel like a failure before you even step onto the stage. My heart broke for Lisa-Lisa. I cannot tell you how many pep talks she has gifted me with throughout the years...it was my turn to give back to her and help out. I asked her, "Would you like me to help you?" "Yea, what ever, mama!" She had such a look on her face, one I'm all too familiar with. It was that - Oh, my God-how-the-hell-am-I-supposed-to-do-this - face! I asked the sound guy, "Do you have an extra microphone you could give me? She needs help." I stood backstage and anytime I thought she may need help with the higher notes, I sang along...if I could harmonize with her, I did...anything to help. When she came off stage, she thanked me, but she had tears in her eyes. To be 100% honest, she did GREAT! The crowd was with her, and I felt it in my heart that the audience sang with her, for her, to her...they just wanted to SEE her! I told her she did great...I just hope she believed it.


I eagerly watched the rest of the show, and then the Quiet One said to me, "Hey, Judy, I think that's Tiffany right next to you." I looked at him, and squinted my eyes, "Are you sure?" "Yes." I slowly turned my head as to not act like an idiot too much. And yes, that was her. I introduced myself, and she was THE BEST!!! She was totally humble, sweet in nature, and we talked a lot. I told her I had seen her on The View..and next thing I know she was asking me if I had a Facebook page. Suddenly, Slick Rick went on stage, followed by Vanilla Ice...and I really didn't care that they weren't freestyle artists...it was just nice for me to feel EXACTLY what the fans are always telling me that they feel - I was transported to an earlier time, a happier, more care-free, and innocent time!! It was a GREAT night!!

MY KIND OF TOWN, CHICAGO IS...

Anytime I perform in Chicago, I always feel a certain excitement. Next to the energy of New York City, I would say Chicago comes in second for me. Chicago is a beautiful city, and to call it the Windy City is indeed an understatement. But I woke up SO sick. Oh, my God! I couldn't move. My back was aching, and so were my joints. I woke up sweating and my throat felt as if I'd swallowed glass. How am I supposed to do a show all the way out in Chicago, and fly home the following day to sing on a ship in NYC?
I took my temperature. 100.5. Yep, low grade fever.

I had to be at the airport by 9:30am. So I rushed with my road manager, David, to the doctor's office. It would be open at 8:30am. So I was there at 8:15 am, begging the doctor's assistant to see me soon so I could catch my flight. My doctor laughed when he saw me. "Ha, you're sick? What happened?" He gave me a shot and two prescriptions...I ran to Rite Aid and begged the pharmacist to assist me in leaving on time. I was in the car at 9:28 am. Excellent. There was word all over the television of a winter storm warning for New York the following day. Yeah, sure.

As soon as I got to the hotel, I slept. I slept for about 2 1/2 hours - no where near what I needed. But it would have to do. I was picked up at 11:30pm...and I was excited. On Facebook, I get a lot of, "Judy, when are you coming to Chi-town?" I can honestly say I've never had a bad show in Chicago. So when my ride picked me up to go to the show, we overheard the promoter talking about rival gang members trying to get into the club. Oh. I forgot about that. Many times when I perform in Chicago, especially in certain areas, gang activity is a given. Although, thankfully, I've never had a personal negative experience, I have done shows for example Congress Theater, where a fight will break out. Whenever I ask what's going on, I'm told in one word: gangs.

Freestyle music is very much music of the Latino streets, so I am not surprised that our fan base also includes many in prison and in gangs. But it saddens me that going to a show to hear someone perform, which should be a FUN thing to do, sometimes turns into a tragic event. Music is supposed to bring people together, NOT be a preface to a battle. And so, the word was there were gang members trying to get in. Next thing I know my road manager is saying things like, "Be sure you stay close to me, and if something goes wrong, you go out this way...." In my almost 25 years of performing, I've only experienced three shows where there was extreme violence: one was a shoot out, the second was men & women with razor blades slicing each other, and the third was when my limo taken with ME in it - but that's a whole other blog.

Anyway, it was time to perform and dammit, I wanted to sing in Chicago...it was a new place for me: Buzz Bomb! I have to say the second I got on stage, the welcome was, well, it gave me the warm fuzzies all over, lol. From the second I got onstage, the stage was not too stable...and when you're wearing 4 inch heels, and the there's a potential for being recorded and put on youtube the following day if you fall, well, it's not a chance I was willing to take. Enter...the chancletas. Slippers are my best friend lately...they're black and they sparkle. So cute. I summoned my slippers and the promoter brought a chair on stage. Okay, dude, it's not THAT bad. LOL..I'm not that old, not yet. And so the show continued... and in spite of singing with a sinus infection, I think everything panned out just fine.

There was a man in the audience with a 12" of No Reason to Cry...he was waving the thing like a proud American would wave his flag. I asked if I could borrow it, and talked about the old days with 12 inch records and 45's and such. I gave it back to him. He was over excited - perhaps he was even drunk...and he became so rowdy that the bouncers removed him. I begged for them not to throw him out, but it was done. All I wanted to do was sign the album for him...so if anyone knows who he is, please forward me his name & address...I'd like to be sure he gets it.

What's my favorite thing about performing in the Windy City? The people. The people in Chicago, those who come to see me perform, are the MOST affectionate people I've met. Every single person tells me a story, hugs me, and I feel their sincerity. That kind of affection from your fans is quite unique. I stayed afterward to take pics and sign autographs - an hour and a half later, I was ready to return home...my flight to return home was so early that as soon as we returned to the hotel, it was time to pack my bag and head to the airport.

My flight was at 7am. I had to return & I wanted an early flight because I had a show that night on a ship in NYC. WE took off, we landed, (Thank you, God, for a safe flight)...and we arrived to rain. The Quiet One picked me up and had a cup of coffee ready for me (he's thoughtful that way :) ) and next thing I knew it was snowing...HARD!!! For the first time, New York was far colder than Chicago...

WELCOME TO MIAMI...BIENVENIDO A MIAMI

In less than two weeks I performed in three cities: Miami, Chicago and Atlantic City. My schedule beginning at end of October into November is BRUTAL...and it all began when I went to Miami. I'm sure people think it's all very cool to jet set all over the country - and it is a blessing, don't get me wrong, but allow me to give you an example of what it can be like.

First, I fly coach. LOL. I don't do first class. It would be nice, but let's face it; I'm not Lady Gaga. And I was sitting in the middle to two large men...and I'm a big girl too. I admit it must have been a funny sight. I land in Fort Lauderdale, a half hour away from Miami. We drive to the hotel, and I'm already sleep deprived from the day before because when I know I have a flight, I become anxious that I'll miss the alarm clock when it fires. So I take a nap...about an hour and a half. I wake to several messages and emails about the upcoming show in Atlantic City. I get picked up for the show around 11:30pm. I go onstage at 1:30am.

The Club at the Renaissance was the venue. The crowd was a good one. Scratch that. They were GREAT! I don't do Miami too often so I know the people who showed up really came to see me. AS I performed there were three men in the audience who were starry eyed. I rarely ever see men look at me that way. But something was different about them. Couldn't put my finger on it. As I performed, with each and every song, the energy from the audience expanded, and then I felt it. Euphoria. It's true happiness. And it is SO contagious. I feel it. The people feel it. And it is just the best natural high a person could have. When I sing, Please Stay Tonight, there is a small segment of the song where I move my hips right, left and as I do that, I lower my body. And then boom. I spring back up. Then I usually make a little joke about it. I say something like, "Ah, you didn't think I could get myself back up, huh?" Then the audience laughs, and so do I. So, there I was lowering my body....wait...um, hello? Oh, shoot!! I can't get up! LOL LOL LOL. Oh, my God! Seriously, I'm stuck. It may have been the shoes that were higher than usual, but for some reason, my legs just didn't have the oomph to pull myself up. So there I am, just squatting there. I have to sing in like 3 seconds. So, I did what we all have to do sometimes in life: I reached out for help. And two of the three men with starry eyes helped me up. I received great applause - I really had fun onstage!

Now it's about 2:15am. I have a flight at 7:40am. I need to get back to the hotel and get sleep. But I can't because there are people just outside the door of the dressing room, waiting for pictures. I firmly believe in meeting the fans, taking pictures and chatting with them. They deserve that. If they took the time to get dressed up to come see the show, if they take the time to wait on line to meet me, the least I can do is give them that time. Besides, I confess, I LOVE people. I love that we all come in different shapes, sizes, colors, attitudes, races, creeds...and I love to try to connect with each person - even if for a second. And so, I take a moment...get a couple of sips of water, and the door is opened. By now, my feet are usually hurting...but I put on my chancletas (slippers) and just keep going. There are always a few people who challenge me: "Judy, you don't remember me, do you?" Um. Hm.

When I'm in a good mood and I'm not too tired, my response will be, "No, I'm so sorry. Where did we meet?" or "How do we know each other?"

When I'm in a bad mood, or exhausted to the point I may cry, my response is, "No, I'm sorry." Period. What else can I say? But in my mind, I'm thinking, 'Um, hello, if I remembered you, you probably wouldn't have to have asked me.' But I know how rude that sounds in my mind, so it never gets released from my mouth.

But I won't lie. I won't make believe I remember that person. About 20 years ago, someone asked me, "Judy, you don't remember me, do you?" I didn't remember him, but I felt SO horrible because he had this hopeful look in his eye. So, I lied to please him, "Yeah, how are ?" He challenged me: "Oh, yeah, you remember me? What's my name? Where did I meet you?" I stood there like an idiot. I swore I would never lie again. Truth be told, sometimes I do remember a person's face, but not the name. It's hard. In the span of ONE evening, I am easily introduced to at least fifty people. It's really hard.

Okay, I got off the subject. Sorry. So, after a show there are always a few drunk ones. It used to bother me, but now I just find it funny that the next day, they will probably remember nothing. So as I was taking pictures the three men with the starry eyes came in. They took pictures with me and seemed tickled pink. I felt honored to take the pictures with them. There was something special about them. And then one of them, asked me in Spanish what my nationality was. I told him that my mother is Puerto Rican, and my father is Cuban. Their eyes lit up...as if they couldn't light up any further. He announced to me that they were all from Cuba and had been in the country for just a year. I asked them what city...they were from Havana, the very city my father was born in.

My father speaks of Cuba frequently. He tells me of the white sandy beaches, the amazing music and the impeccable dancing that occurs there. My father came to this country when he was shy of 18 years old. I understand from his stories that it was a hazardous trip, and that when he got here in the winter time, the only word he knew in English was hamburger. I admire my father for his courage. To come to a land where you don't speak the language, or know the culture...to not even have a home or know of a friend or a relative who can get you started - that takes guts. And my father created a wonderful life for himself here...and later in life, he had his sister and mother join him here as well. It is a common story for many of our relatives, but it is always admirable..this country is built on immigrants. I sure wouldn't be here today if my parents had not come into this country.

And so, the three starry-eyed gentlemen began to tell me about how they would climb to the roof of their homes with antennae to desperately try and catch Power 96, a big radio station in Miami. They told me they could barely hear No Reason To Cry but they knew they loved it. Wow. Their story, told with so much passion, simply brought tears to my eyes. The idea that they could have been in trouble if they had been caught, but they risked it anyway, truly moved me. They had looked forward to this day, hoping they could finally hear me in person, meet me. So cool. I gave them pictures, I took more pictures with them and I hugged them...really, really hard. Wow. Now, that's what I call Freestyle Freaks!! Yo quiero mi Cuba libre!!! (I want my Cuba to be free)