Sunday, December 18, 2011

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS...

So the Quiet One and I have been together for just over 7 months now! It's gone by so quiclky and yet there have been moments that have gone by in slow motion.

The tree at Rockerfeller Center...

If I don't see that tree every year, I feel incomplete. The tradition of that tree in the city has probably been around longer than I've been alive. Maybe I've seen too many holiday movies, or perhaps I am an even mushier romantic during Christmas, but I always had a fantasy about what going to Rockerfeller Center with a boyfriend would be like. I always imagined seeing the tree, the two of us making goo-gooly eyss at each other. Then we would embrace, kiss, and hold each other as if no one was around. I imagined us having an original New York pretzel, maybe a hot chocolate, and looking at the store front windows that are SO fantastic at Christmastime!! I just wanted a memory like that seared into my brain to take with me when I should ever go into a senior home when I turn 90...

Sure, I've gone to see the tree with past boyfriends. My fantasy was never played out. They would take me there, and they would take the "mandatory" photo of us, and next thing I knew I was on my way headed home. And they would say, "What? You saw the tree, you got the picture - what more do you want?"

Last night the Quiet One and I went to see the Tree at Rockerfeller Center...it was probably the only night we could do it together since I didn't have a show. We decided to park in a lot, because if you've never been to New York City, the parking signs are SO confusing that you will most likely receive a ticket. We walked down 49th Street and all the excitement was there - the children ooh'ing and aah'ing - taking pictures with second-hand costumed Mickey Mouses, SpongeBob's and the like! Right across the street from Radio City were the gigantic Christmas balls in red, silver and a King Kong sized display of multi-colored Christmas lights. Police were EVERYWHERE directing traffic, PEOPLE traffic, not just cars. As we got close to the tree, the Quiet One said, "You ready, baby? We're almost there!! Ready..." And there is was. As grand and as large as it can be! The happiest place in New York City is right there. Of course we could barely even walk, but it didn't matter - we were there, and he was wonderful about it! He asked to take a picture of me in front of the tree, and we took one of ourselves - after all, it's our FIRST Christmas together! And then, he stayed there. I couldn't believe, he didn't say to me, "Okay, let's get outta here - it's too crazy!" He wrapped his arms around me, and just like the movie, I exhaled. We kissed, yep, right there...no shame. Then he bought me roasted cashews & a pretzel, and we held hands..and although it was cold, I felt warm. We watched the MOST beautiful video display that is given on the side of Saks Fifth Avenue...God bless the person who thought of it. It was SO gorgeous that I cried. The Quiet One asked if I was alright,and I told him I cannot come here and not feel overwhelmed with the beauty and magic of Christmas here. He hugged me tighter, and we began walking away - one whole entire big, block away, when he asked me, "Did you want to do anything else?" I did, but I thought we'd already walked too far...that one block took us almost 10 minutes to walk because of the mass of people that had collected. So, I said, "Well, kind of, but that's okay...we're too far now." "Tell me, what did you want to do?" "Well," I confessed, "I wanted to see some of the store windows on 5th Avenue." "Okay." And without hesitation, he took my hand and to 5th Avenue we went. I thanked him...I still don't think he understands how much that meant to me. I'll cherish it forever!

Then he met my father and his wife a couple of months ago...Words that can describe my father would be: strong, opinionated, stubborn and old-world macho...so I had no idea what would happen. We were at dinner, my father telling stories of what I was like as a child, and there they were, smiling at one another. A moment that will stay with me forever was one I saw in slow motion. As my father was trying to get out of the car, I saw the Quiet One, come over, hold the door open and gently helped my father up. My father, now 80, doesn't feel 80, I'm sure...but his knees remind him, and it's painful for him to push up. The Quiet One did it in a way that was kind, but appropriate. He made my father feel good about it, not weird. I was very proud of him. My father is an EXCELLENT cook, and he made both of us flan (Spanish style custard)...but the Quiet One HATES flan! Not a good thing...it's like going to an Italian's house, and telling them you hate pasta! But the Quiet One was honest with my father, and later, my father admitted he liked his honesty. Cool.

Next test to pass: Dinner at my mother's with my three brothers, sister and three nieces. As soon as he got to my mom's house, my mom asked him to put something up for her. He was kind, eager and very helpful the entire day. Dinner at my mom's with my whole family is always a lot of fun, because there is so much laughter, chaos and friendly dysfunction. We were all sitting there...and the Quiet One is, well, sometimes, very quiet. He's a bit shy at first...but he does fine all by himself. When dinner was over, he was immediately washing dishes, collecting dishes...he's just the BEST! Later on, when I couldn't find him in the kitchen, he was playing with my nieces and they were giggling...he is a father already but he's a natural with children!!! I caught myself wondering what it would be like to be married to him, and wishing I met him so long ago!!

All I have EVER wanted for Christmas was to meet the man I'd like to spend my life with. All I have ever wanted was to feel TRULY loved, respected, and wanted. All I ever wanted was to KNOW that I can trust who I'm with - that I don't have to second guess myself...All I have ever wanted for Christmas was a REAL GOOD MAN!! It won't really matter what presents I get this year. For the first time in such a LONG time, I am H.A.P.P.Y!!! I am at peace. I realize that in the past, my past boyfriends were like a drug addiciton - not knowing if they would cheat or not, kept me awake at night. I was addicted to the drama of it...and I waited for the next high, and they would mess up, and I'd go into withdrawal. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat...

This kind of love is peaceful. It is a calm I've never experienced before. I'm not used to it, but I sleep like a baby every night. This kind of love is reassuring, it's uplifting...it makes me feel like I am a complete person, and I have more than enough to offer a man. This kind of love is a real love...it's from God, I"m sure...All I want for Christmas is the Quiet One's wonderful love!!!! I know you're sick with my corny, mushy stuff...but I swear, it's SO awesome, and SO worth it!! And for Christmas, I wish you the very same: a love that lifts you, that loves, you, that respects you, that honors you, that makes you feel worthy of everything good!!!