Insomnia, Atlanta and Hope!

Chris Willis & Me - Day he offered to write with me! 

Rough night last night. Can't lie. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop hurting - yes I was feeling so sore. Couldn't stop thinking. Was thinking about the quiet. Normally, I love silence, but last night it was too loud. And then I cried. I cried for myself - I felt bad, didn't want to cry, but it had to happen. Maybe it's PMS...either way, if you're a woman and ever had pms, you know it feels as real to you as anything else - even if you feel like a psycho while you're in the midst of it. So I cried. I have been lonely. As long as I'm singing, working, on the air, writing, reading, I am okay. But when I am alone. Ugh. Just wish I had someone to wish me goodnight; to kiss me goodnight. The dating is scene is so rough - and I've been single now for over two years. I tell myself that there is a reason; that God is preparing a good man for me, or that I have something great coming up that if I had been with someone I wouldn't be able to do. But I cried. And then, only then, I fell asleep.

I was in my car this morning listening to the Gayle King Show on XM, and discovered that today is International Gratitude Day. Hm. Now I felt like crap for crying last night. It is just so true: if you find things to be grateful for, if you are in a spirit of thanks, there is no way you can be unhappy. So, my spirits were instantly lifted because I have SO much to be thankful for. I have a new thing to be thankful for. Tomorrow I am flying to Atlanta, Georgia, to record a new song that I wrote with Chris Willis!!

Chris Willis is an international pop star! And he is one of the few people in this cruel and fun industry whom I truly admire. A former gospel recording artist, his voice is just incredible. His vocal range NEVER goes out, and I have NEVER heard him sing a bad note. I've heard him sing at night after doing a stint of four shows in one night; and I have heard him sing first thing in the morning, just after arriving from Brazil hours before and STILL sound GREAT! His song, Love Is Gone, is a song that I still dance to and listen to in my ipod! When I first heard it, I wondered who this man is...and then, and THEN, when I discovered we had the same management - H E L L O!!! I HAD to meet him. He is not only an amazing vocalist, but he is also a most gracious human being. He has been nothing but kind to me, and when I had my sinus surgery last year, he was the ONLY one to send me anything!

One day after a sweet sixteen we were both booked for, I mentioned an idea to him for a song. He called me a few days later and told me he wanted to write something with me. Chris has a new song now that he did with David Guetta, Fergie and LMFAO, called No Getting Over You. And it is a top 40 hit - something that all recording artists strive to do! I thought that now with his fame and frenzied schedule I would have to put the whole idea of writing with him off. But I was wrong. He was truly a man of his word, and the song he wrote with me is so great! I am excited - the theme of the song is about a new encounter and feeling like he might be the one! Hopefully what I sing about will attract exactly that to me!

So now I'm nervous. I know you don't think I should be. But I am. It's the same as you being an actor and Merryl Streep invited you to do a scene with her. My biggest concern is my voice. I ho[e to have a great voice tomorrow and deliver what is expected of me. I am now in a new and higher caliber of talent, and if I perform and record well, it is possible that some of that wonderful talent, great blessings & a little bit of luck will rub off me! There will be no tears tonight - just a lot of hope and prayer!!