Friday, May 28, 2010

CHICAGO CHICO (Part 2 of 2)

When we last saw Judy, she was having a drink with Chicago Chico, when a "lovely" latina woman approached her, told her he's a great guy and an amazing kisser.  She told Judy - "He's an amazing kisser....I should know - I kissed him - TEN YEARS AGO!"  My response:  "Well, thank you for the endorsement. I'll let you know if he's improved."

Why in the world would a woman come up to me and let me know the man is an amazing kisser unless she was genuinely sincere...NOT!!  LOL...I think there may have been a sense of jealousy and I felt she was trying to sabotage an opportunity.  To avoid getting catty, I asked her, "Who are you here with  by the way?"  Ready for the answer, my friends??  She says, "I'm here with my husband - he's right there." wasn't even standing 3 feet away from her!  I kindly leaned in and asked her, "You would say another man is an amazing kisser with your husband within earshot of you?"  "Oh, my God!  You think he heard me?"  I don't know, but I think you should get back to him just in case.  Wow...I almost didn't believe it if I hadn't seen it.

Chicago Chico asked me, "What did she say to you?"  I told him everything and he was amused that I thanked her for the endorsement.  We joked around a bit and asked the questions all people ask each other during a first conversation.  He was adorable and thanked me for choosing to have a drink with him out of everyone in the club.  He asked me again if I had really remembered him and I responded with a confident yes...

"So, Judy, if you remember meeting me, you remember our kiss?"
"You didn't kiss me."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you didn't."
"How are you so sure?"
"Because if you had kissed me and if you did it well, I would remember - believe me!! (LOL.)  And 'm sorry to say this, but if you did kiss me, it wasn't that good."  I admit I was having fun...I was also aware that everyone at the bar was staring at us.  There were two women on the left that were eyeing him and a man on my right eyeing me.  We discussed the possiblity of what they were thinking. when the man walked up to me.

He whispered in my ear with a scolding tone: "Judy, Navy Guy is going to be pissed off!!  How could you do that to him?"
God...seriously?? LOL.
"Sir, if you follow my blog, you will know that Navy Guy repeatedly told me he didn't want a relationship and because of that, I am keeping my options open.  I do care about him. I do have feelings for him, but I cannot wait for someone who can't tell me he cares for me."  With that statement, he nodded and simply walked away.  Hm, for the first time, I wondered if blogging someday will come back and kick me where it hurts.  Back to Chicago Chico.

We talked again, and to his credit, he didn't ask me any career questions - he asked me about what I like to do for fun, what I look for in a man, etc.  Then he recapped, "So, you're saying if I had kissed you, you would've remembered?  So why do you remember me after all this time?"  "Because," I told him, "I remembered your smile."  A few people asked me for pictures which I did for them...and about 3 minutes later, I don't know what got into me, but i flirted...

" will I remember you next time?"
"I don't know...what do you mean?"
"What will you do this time to ensure I remember you next time?"
He sat silently smiling.
"Um, okay, I don't want to misunderstand  you here, or do something respectful...what are you saying to me?"
"I'm saying...(deep breath)...if you kissed me well, I'd definitely remember you."
"Right now?"
"Right now!"  My unexpected answer actually made him blush.  It was so sweet...
He put his head down, looked back up at me...and with absolute confident intention, he looked at me, leaned in while staring into my eyes, slowly (that's important, the slowly, lol) leaned into me, put his hand on my face...
Oh, my God...I freaking LOVE the hand on the me, it's a true mark of a man with character and affection.
And just before our lips touched, he looked at me again, and there was almost a moment of pause.  Oh, the anticipation - love that too!
And then he kissed me. about making a good first impression. It was the exact kiss I asked God about earlier that day...God truly answers your prayers!!  Thank You, God, thank You, God!! You heard me loud and clear...and You delivered!!!  LOL.  I had to admit this is not my nature - it's kind of tacky to me to kiss someone so soon, but it felt right, and I know I was on borrowed time, since I was leaving the club in less than an hour and going to the airport in less than two.  But it seems like once or twice a year, I step out of my comfort zone and find that breaking your rules SOMETIMES pays off!

I was aware that peopel were watching us, so I believe we both were somewhat more reserved than usual, but it didn't take away from the intensity of it.  I don't know what will come of this...but I do know far Chicago Chico has called me everyday since.  I hope I get booked in Chicago again!!                     

Thursday, May 27, 2010

CHICAGO CHICO (Part 1 of 2)

You know how there is usually someone in the family who never marries; who has an adventurous life; who has amazing stories to tell and who is slightly eccentric??  Maybe I'm that relative.  I came to this conclusion one day while being frustrated that I'm still single.  I told my mom that perhaps it's a blessing I'm overlooking, and since that day I have embraced my new "role" in life- Eccentric, Crazy Single Relative.  There was a freedom when I accepted that idea and for the first time in months I found myself calm.

Until last Saturday...

I landed in Chicago, one of my favorite places to sing.  I got to my room, put my stuff down & away, and then felt it creep up on me again...damn.  "Can you just leave me alone a little longer?"  It was that feeling again that something is missing.  Correction:  SOMEONE is missing. I tried not to obsess about it.  I mean, hey, I'm in a different city...I wasn't staying around the excitement of the city, however.  I was in one of the know "Boon Docks"  I just couldn't go out and wander around & occupy myself.  So I put the tv on and began watching Everybody Loves Raymond marathon.. 
Damn. I'm so bored.  I began to pray.  "Here I am again, Lord. I'm not going to complain that I'm still single.  I'm sure you know better than me why that is, so I won't challenge your decisions...I'm not going to ask for a boyfriend just yet..."  Then I had a thought - I just miss that physical human touch."Okay, God...this might sound horrible, but could I just get kissed?  Could someone kiss me, but not like a usual kiss, but a memorable one?"  Then I thought perhaps asking God for some random kiss was somehow inappropriate so I let the whole thing go, and surrendered to the fact that I am to be single and "alone" one more day. 

The show at Studio 63 was GREAT!  I love the people who go there - they are more affectionate than any other place I've performed in Chicago.  I placed my leg on the sidebar on stage to show the ladies my shoes, and then my leg got stuck.  Two women assisted me getting my leg back without more embarrassment, and  the audience and I got a real good laugh about it. It was my first performance since my sinus surgery & I was terrified.  First 7 minutes of my 27 minute show were rough..I hated how I was sounding. In fact, I sounded quite busted, lol, & I hope the crowd forgives me.. I think they do.  Thank God, it got better and I was able to feel free.  After the show, I signed autographs, and took pictures.  And there he was...I'll call him Chicago Chico.

I'd met him over a year ago the last time I was there. He was bold enough to ask me to have a drink with him at the bar after the show...but we were interrupted by fans asking for pictures so much, that I confess I really didn't get to know him.  We never exchanged numbers or anything and he became a blurred memory.  But the second I saw him, I thought he was just as cute as I had the time I met him last year. 

"Hi, Judy - remember me?  We had a drink last year by the bar but kept getting interrupted?"  He has a great smile.  Hm, he's still so adorable...Latino, slightly taller than me, great warm brown eyes, an incredible head of hair, (not that that's a requirement, lol), moustache & goatee (usually I don't like facial hair on a man, but sometimes it works and in this case - um, hell yea!!)   and an innocence about his smile that simply invites me to talik to him...can't help it.  LOL. "Yes, I remember you.  When I'm done here, if you'd like, we can try to have that drink again."  He agreed to wait. When I was done, my road manager accused me of being a cougar as he walked me to the bar.  I am NOT a cougar!!! The title "cougar"  implies that you hunt the guy down, chew him up and spit him back out...I am not a predator.  I am simply open to whomever I happen to be attracted to - provided that he is over 28.  I've dated younger & older.  Experience has taught me that older men are not always as mature as younger men - it really is an individual situation and no one man can be put in a category.  Anyway, I walked over to the bar and he ordered a drink for me.

The second we finally smiled at each other and began to talk, this lovely latina woman comes over. I call her lovely because, well, let's just say I'm a lady.  The first words out her mouth are:  "How long do you know Chicago Chico?"  "We met last year..."  "Well, Judy, let me tell you, he's a good man - a Christian, God-fearing man...and he's an amazing kisser.  I should know - I kissed him about 10 years ago."

My response?  "Thank you for the endorsement. I'll let you know if he's improved."  To be continued tomorrow.                     

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Not Just Any Kiss

When was the last time someone kissed you?
When was the last time someone looked into your eyes and lingered there, while leaning in to kiss you?
When was the last time someone reached the edge of your lips and waited that extra second before touching lips?  
When was the last time someone kissed you with so much passion that you blushed?
When was the last time someone kissed you with slow, intentional movement that almost brought you to your knees?
When was the last time someone kissed you & left you wanting more?
When was the last time someone kissed you so well that you didn't need anything else?
When was the last time someone kissed you hard, with intention and unspoken desire that you were simply left you downright speechless?

If you've never experienced this kind of kiss from a lover, spouse or stranger for that matter, you've never really been kissed....

As for lol...I'm speechless!  

Friday, May 21, 2010

A Mother's Grief

Last month, at the Silver Spurs Arena in Kissimee, FL, my road manager was unable to be close enough to me during the show because the sound booth was so far away from the stage.  We invited a friend of his, Angel, to come to the show & Angel offered to "watch" me while I performed.  I had met Angel but only once before, but didn't know him well.  Backstage before the show, Angel & I spoke for a while about the music business and about how much he loved his wife & children.  He was very handsome, and I even told him so (that was before I found out he was married, lol).  Angel was kind enough to be sure I had my water & was literally a protective gentleman....

I received a call from his wife...Angel died.  Only 39 years old...All I could think of was, "What??...but I just saw him the other day!!  I was just talking to him!"  I offered my condolences, asked her if there was anything she needed, and hung up the phone absolutely speechless.  Another wake...the fourth wake I would attend in less than 2 months.  What is going on with the world?  Being 41, his death only made me think of how young we are, and how much more living he had to made me afraid.  For the first time I was afraid.  My God, life is too touch and go...I was just - I was just...dammit, just the other day, I was talking to him.  He was smiling, confident, happy...what happened.

So a couple of days ago, I went to the wake to pay my respects.  I can't stand wakes, as I mentioned in a previous blog.  I hate walking up to the coffin and looking at a body I know no longer resembles the person I knew...their spirit is not there, leaving the body looking - well - hollow.  But I got there, and there on a large frame was the autograph I just signed for him the last time I saw him. He also had George Lamond & Noel's pictures as well.  What an honor to be placed there.  I was told he was a major Freestyle Freak, and I believed it.  I lost it as soon as I saw my picture.  Once again, I am honored to know I had any impact on  a person.  I offered sympathies to his family and sat down.  And then I heard the one sound I hope to never hear again:  the cry coming from a mother who lost her child.

"AAAAAHHHHHHEEEEEE....UUUUHHH...UUGH...Aye no!!!"  For as long as I live, I never thought a cry could pierce through your soul the way her cry did.  The cry was raw, it was from the was full of agony & inconsolable grief.  It was a cry that seeped into your bones and you could literally physically heal her pain. The pain was so deep that it hurt to hear made me want to flee the room just to not have to hear it.  But just as I may think that and it hurts me for a moment, that cry is the cry that will last a lifetime for her. I just didn't know a cry could ever sound so brutally raw.

Then his daughters got up to speak...they said, "you won't be there for our graduations, you won't be able to walk us down the aisle..." Oh, my God....began crying again at the injustice of it all.  The one of many great mysteries...that weird question we all want to ask God:  "Why?  Why do children end up without their parents.  Why are they forced to endure such a loss?"  I admired their bravery and their ability to even speak.  I'd be a wreck...I could tell he was a good dad by the way they spoke of him.  Then his mother began to sob again.... 
"Why, Why God?  Why did You take him from me?"  She cried out loud, sobbing, screaming....she cried tears enough for all of us.  I couldn't stand it...I felt so helpless.  "AYE, por que, Dios?  Por que me lo quitaste??? Aye, mi hijo! (My son)...Mi hijo."  That was it...I lost it...I wanted to get up and go to her. I wanted to get her off the chair, put her on the floor, sit with her and hold her,....I wanted to hold her and rock her, the way someone rocks a child for comfort.  But I couldn't do anything.  It wasn't my place.  She doesn't know do I know such a gesture would be welcome?  So all I could do is pray from afar.

"Heavenly, father, I come to you in the name of Jesus.  I ask You to please comfort Angel's mother and his wife & children.  I ask you to carry their pain, hold them in your comforting arms, and assist them through this horrific time.  I ask you to send angels that will hold them up so they do not faint or grow weary.  I ask you to permit Angel to come to them in their dreams and prove that he is okay now, because I know that he is home with You now. Only You know what they need right now to get them through this, and I thank you for providing all of it to them....if there is anyting I can do for them, please show me, and it will be done. Amen."

Angel Pagan - for the brief  time we met, I was honored to know you.  Thank you for helping me on stage with a big smile.  Thank you for taling about your wife with so much love & respect...nowadays I don't hear men praise their wives like that.  I know you loved your children and were so proud of them.  I don't know why you were taken so soon, but know will be missed.  Be forever blessed with the angels, Angel...              

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Nose Knows

May 4th, 9:30 am. Enter - Anesthesiologist. 
"Helo, Judy!  I'm Dr....I'll be putting you under this morning."
"Oh, so you're the important one huh?" I respond.
"Yep, that's me.- So how was your weekend?"

Next thing I know...
"Ms. Torres, I'm the nurse."

And that was it.  A whole hour of my life lost - I had finally had the sinus surgery done.  I had put it off for a small time.  Recurring sinus infections had become too mainstream in my life, and its presence was NOT appreciated.  As a singer, experiencing constant post nasal drip was not a good thing.  After a false alarm when my primary doctor thought I had polyps in my sinuses, I finally went to see a specialist.  The ENT, Dr. Jeffrey LeBenger, told me that once he did the surgery, cleared the clogged passages and straightened out the deviated septum, I would not only breathe better but no longer expererience the infections as much.

I stood up, and my friend, Brenda, assisted me.  My only anxiety about having the surgery done was simple:  How much pain would I be in?  PLENTY!  I can simply describe it as getting hit by a truck doing 90 mph, getting up and getting decked right on by a gorilla.  As a result the nose lands flat in back of the skull and just when I"m seeing birds dancing around my brain, the ENT came along and sucked my nose back into place with a big vacuum cleaner. 

My friend took care of me at her house for 4 days.  She said, "I'll drop you off at my house and pick up your prescription.  I may have been stunned into agony but I was well enough to communicate. And may we just take a moment of silence to honor those who invented these pain meds...I know people abuse them, but for those of us who are in that kind of pain, these medications keep us from jumping off a roof.

"Um, Brenda?...can we just go get the drugs?  NOW??"  And she was a GREAT nurse to me the entrire time.  If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have known what to expect and would have been far more scared with all the sensations I felt.  What did I have to deal with?  Drainage, blood, pain., the inability to breathe through my nose...sleeping on my back which I've never been able to do, pain in the throat, nose, head, teeth...I didn't know the nose could throb that way.  I lost my sense of smell, my sense of taste...oh I missed that the most.

My whole life was literally put on hold recovering from shows, I canceled meetings, songwriting sessions...I watched way too much tv.  But hey, sometimes you just have to submit and acknkowledge that healing is first priority.  So after Brenda's house, I went to see Mom, who helped me through the rest of it.  I'm still not out of the woods yet, but I can now smell again.  I miss my cats,Sedona and Frenchie...but I had to give them away as I have not been home enough and to be honest, I was secretly wondering if I was allergic to them too - another reason for the sinus infections?  Hm...don't know. 

The lessson here was to learn that without your health, you can't really live life to the fullest.  You sometimes have to submit to doing nothing...and it can be okay to do that.  Appreciate your senses...every single one of is one of beauties of being a human smell flowers, coffee brewing, the smell of garlic oin a pan with olive taste the soup or to be able to discern whether you're eating cheese or chicken...these are the simple joys of life.  And I love them all!!!  Once I am 100% I intend to smell the heck out of everything, write more songs, sing louder, walk more, dance more, laugh more and begin to take even better care of this wonderful machine the Good Lord Gave me called:  my body.!!!

Friday, May 7, 2010

A Request From a Fan to Play "Abuela" in In The Heights, Broadway.

So while I'm recovering from sinus surgery, and continue to be in substantial excruciating pain, I came across this email today...and as per this fan's request, here is his letter.  You may feel free to comment!

Dear Ms Torres,

I was attempting to post my comment publicly but it seems your blog has that feature not available. Would you mind posting for me so I can communicate with your fans?
Here we go ....

Dear Judy,

I have been a fan for as very long time and must disclaim you are absolute favorite female vocalist of all time. I have never seen you give a performance without exceptional energy. Whether it was a stadium event, nightclub, hole in the wall or traveling down the street on a float in 100 degree weather (LOL) yes I saw you as the Madrina in the NY Puerto Rican parade.

The purpose I am writing and hoping to get all of your Snowflakes to agree (are we still snowflakes in the summer?) is I was lucky enough to see In The Heights on Broadway earlier this week. Besides having a stage production that emulates life in the barrio it was great to see a primarily latino cast, unlike my experience with West Side Story. There was one character in the play, The Abuela / Grandma and during the entire performance I kept saying to myself WHY ISNT THAT JUDY TORRES ON THAT STAGE PLAYING THAT PART.... here are my reasons. The character Abuela is the belter of the show (Like You) She is dramatic (with the heat and walking up and down the stairs... ok so Maybe not like Judy Torres the singer but I did have the chance to see you play the role of Queen in THE LIFE and after getting beat by a pimp, playing a hooker and getting out of jail - I think you can play an old lady... in edition didn't you play grandma freestyle for a concert in NY and NJ?) and You should be on Broadway.... If Betty White fans got her on SNL I think the snowflakes can get together and get you to play this role In The Heights.

SNOWFLAKES UNITE INTO A BLIZZARD ! Please spread the word to all the Judy Torres fans you know and get them to join this blog so we can all comment, post and get Judy in this production.... Are you with me ?

Judy - You are an amazing talent and I love everything you have ever recorded but it would be a site to see you sing this production. If anyone has ever seen this production you have to agree....

Thanks for your time fellow snowflakes!

See you on Broadway Judy Torres !

Antonino Moran

Monday, May 3, 2010

An Unexpected E-Mail about Silver Spurs Arena Concert

So I was checking my fan mail at myspace, and this letter from :Johanna comes up - read on:

I just want to tell you that you were incredible and that night could not have been better... My husband and I were on rocky terms and had been seperated for a couple months now and one of the last things that we had purchased before splitting up were the tickets to the show and neither one of us wanted to give up our ticket so we ended up having to go together which forced us to be in the same room for more then just 15 min and only to drop our son off.. You were and always have been what joins us together!

We met 12 years ago at a friends get together and we started talking because we were both singing your song "no reason" and after that we were inseperable. Last night we didnt speak until you came on we looked at each other and smiled because you have always been our favorite singer. When you started singing the "ooo" part we just held hands and when the song was over we hugged and we realized that no matter how bad things got we had each other.. and your song made us realize thatWe were up all night moving in together again and our son has a whole family again! So I wanted to thank you - because of your song we got together and even played it at our wedding but more importantly (the song) got us back together! You will forever have us as fans now more then ever! When ever you are around us we will be there supporting you and the music that we love so much! Thank you for doing what you do! You are truly an amazing singing and performer! I am beyond grateful !

My point is we never know the impact we make on others..sometimes it's the little things that we say, or the little syllables, like oooh, lol!  Be kind to others & God will reward you far greater than you can even imagine for yourself!  I hope Johanna & her husband find that their separation was necessary to realize why they still need and love each other!  I hope their love is stronger than ever!  It's letters like these that make me feel I am living my life's purpose. I just don't want to sing to other people...I just don't want to hear the applause...I want to heal the spirits through music...that feels the best!!!