Professional vs. Personal - Ugh, the guilt!!!

I was going to visit Mom tonight after my radio shift and spend the night, staying with her until Tuesday. I haven't seen her in over a week, and I feel like if I don't physically see her, I don't truly know if she's okay. I worry about her health; I worry if she's lonely. She's been recovering from hip replacement surgery, and she has had a long, difficult, challenging recovery. My mom had the surgery late November of 2009, and my siblings and I have worked hard to help her through this process. In my efforts to take care of her, for which I have NO regrets; and feeling in a bit of slump as well, I admittedly somewhat neglected my own life.

I received a call from my boss at the station stating that he would like me to interview, Aventura, the extremely famous Dominican quartet from the Bronx, who recently sold out Madison Square Garden. Duh - of course I said YES!! It is going to be awesome! The interview is set for this Tuesday. Anyone who understands who Aventura is knows I'd be an idiot not to do this; what a FANTASTIC opportunity this is- to interview the hottest latin group, and to prove that I can conduct a great interview. So I began doing research, and read about them, listened to their songs, read the reviews and articles, etc. And as I began to run my agenda through my brain, I realized that I really need to be close by. I have the interview to do, videos to record this week, more work on my website, and my manager's voice kept echoing in my mind: "Judy, this is your life...no one is going to make this happen but you."

So I called mom. "Mom..." I told her about the interview. "Would you mind if I don't come over tonight? I have so many things to do, and I just don't want to be unprepared, or feel rushed." With total empathy, my mom said, "Sure! Not a problem at all." And although I felt she was sincere, that she didn't mind, it still bothered me after we hung up. When I got to the station, I called her again. "Are you sure, Mom?" Mom said what she always says, "Mami, I love you....go do what you gotta do...go kick butt!"

I believe you can only be truly happy when all the elements of life are in balance: personal, professional, spiritual, physical, social, etc. All these parts of life need attention...but it makes it no easier. I'm home now...had dinner, did some work. But I just wish I could be here and there with Mom. I have always felt an over-developed sense of responsibility to my family, especially Mom. Some of these feelings are healthy and maybe some of them are not. But one thing remains true: I love my mommy! LOL. And when I make it real big, I can help her in ways we could not have imagined! So, back to work. Love you, Mom! Muah!