So, almost 3 weeks ago, Navy Guy called me. You know how a man's voice can just completely draw you right back to the first time you met him??? Well, that's what happened. I heard his voice.."Hey...Judy..." - that kind of masculine-testosterone-warm kind of voice...I almost melted a bit. Okay. So we begin to talk and I update him on how my life is going and how I cannot wait for my new song to come out, my sinus surgery, etc. Once we got through the typical stuff, he accused me of "kicking him to the curb"...I explained I had not done that; I simply protected myself before I got hurt. (Ladies, you know what I mean: I didn't want to wait for a man who didn't love me enough.)
"I didn't kick you to the curb."
"You kicked me to the curb & I didn't even do anything wrong to you. I was good to you."
"Um, helloooo! I was damned good to you too!! And I did I OT kick you to the curb...you said you didn't want a relationship. You said you didn't want me to wait for you...If you don't name it, you can't claim it."
"What the hell are you talking about? All I know is I always came to see you - I wasn't seeing anyone else, I kept drvivng 10-12 hours each way just to see you! What the hell do you mean?"
"Well, if you wanted me, you should've said something. If you want me to be your girl, you should've said something!"
Now the voices began to escalate...
"Are you serious? Judy, you don't think you were my girl? We went out for like 5 months! I drove back and forth, we went out, we had a great time...of course you were my girl."
OH!
Oh!
o!
LOL..."Well you never said anything, and you gave me the impression you thought I was some kind of "friend with benefits," and I'm not that at all.
"Man, you kicked me to the curb. I STILL can't believe it!"
"I did not!!! Ughh!"
"Judy, if you were in front of me right now, you know what I'd say?"
"What?"
"I love you."
STOP
Hold on.
Did he just say what I think he said?
Okay, there it goes...yes, I'm breathing. Yes, I think he said it....
"Oh, so why didn't you say something before?"
"Did I HAVE to say something? I thought I SHOWED it!"
"Yes, of course you have to say something! I am a woman who wants to be shown love, but I have to hear it too!! I need both."
"Well, maybe I'm not that type of guy."
I know I was blushing.
"Well, I gotta go, Julie (He always called me Julie)."
"Ok..."
"Hey, I'll call you soon, ok?"
I hung up...completely dumbfounded and speechless. And then, I cried a very quiet cry, the kind that only one tear falls, but it is more than enough. Wow. He told me he loves me....I hadn't heard a man tell me he loved me in almost 2 years! Felt good...I admit it. The questions remain for me: Did he say it because he meant it? Or did he say it because he's lonely? Did he have some sort of revelation & realize there was something solid there? Or Was he just tipsy?
So next day, when I asked him if he remembered saying he loved me (I suspected he may have been a bit tipsy when he'd called the night before), he suddenly cried amnesia. And that's my point!
Today, he sent me a photo of him, from the battleship I believe. All in uniform. Damn, he had to look good too?? He returns in July...wants to see me...wants to talk...wants to come to Beatstock, lol!! The photo made me smile...I don't know if it's that I'm very lonely, or if there really is something solid between us! I hate that feeling...I'll be 42 on Sunday. I really would like a life partner...someone to open my eyes to in the morning. Gotta admit, Navy Guy looked good, lol! Ah, men!!!
it sounds like he was very unclear with his feelings. and thats not cool if he said something as strong as "I Love You" and then cry amnesia when u asked him about it. u r such an amazing person judy. i see how much u care for people on facebook.. u r always trying to help others. u also have to put yourself first once in a while too. u are an amazing woman and u deserve an amazing man. i would give navy guy an ultimatum.. if he wants to continue to talk to u and continue something with u, he must be clear about what he wants from u. u can not keep wondering what u guys are and what he is thinking or feeling. he obviously likes u alot bc he always wants to travel to see u and to talk to u. so either he stops the games and decides what he wants, or he can hit the road jack!! i know it is hard bc u developed feelings for him but u need to save ur feelings for someone who can return them in the same way that u r giving them out!!
ReplyDelete<3, Andrea
WOW!! that was deep. I think the man is confused and does not know what he wants but I do feel that he does care about you and does have some type of feelings for you. But if he can't give you the same 100% you put in...than he ain't the one for you and it's his loss!
ReplyDeleteHappy Early Birthday and I say screw him... if he can't man up then you should REALLY kick him to the curb for GOOD. You deserve MUCH better woman.
ReplyDeleteWow Judy, as in wow for Navy Guy. I was in the same position as u and still kinda am now. I don’t kno what to do just yet bout my situation but for yours, I say you should give him options. He either stops playing games and really say wat he feels and I was hoping that he really meant that he loved u or u will just walk away bcuz u deserve soooo much better. There are other fishes in sea that will kill to b with u. Take Chicago Chico for example. I think he really likes u as well but in a way more than Navy Guy. Not trying to get off topic but how is he by the way? But n e way, wait til July for when Navy Guy comes and sort things out. Remember actions speak louder than words. Now he has to prove, in action, that he really wants u. if nothing changes then u have ur answer. I do hope u find that special someone or should I say as the good Book does, that special someone will find u, cuz u deserve nothing but the best. Love ya gurlie and don’t worry ur King is coming!!
ReplyDeleteHi Judy re: your turning 45 on sunday your only as old as you feel cause you dont look it you look much much younger
ReplyDeleteI am going to be blunt- please forgive me but...The MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION is: Can YOU handle a LONG DISTANCE relationship? Think holidays, birthdays, - and remember the US govt has been extending deployments- so that means he may be overseas 1-3 years-ARE YOU ABLE TO HANDLE THAT???? It's like being married to laywers or doctors during law school / medical school / residency training who work 70 - 90 hour workweeks including weekends. If you know of one, ask the woman how they managed it emotionally? love you xoox
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone! Amorlatino...I'm turning 42, not 45! LOl..that's why I look much younger! LOL. All of you have wonderful advice & insight! Leslie, GREAT response...practical & you have great perception! Thank you! I'll keep you all posted!
ReplyDeleteI'm very confused right now. LOL! Happy Birthday, by the way. Ok. Back to business. Did he remember that he told you he "couldn't be in a relationship right now." But then in his head you were his girl? Very convenient for him. But it doesn't work like that. You're doing the right thing by protecting your heart. There's no sense in making the same mistakes over and over again.
ReplyDeleteLove you! xoxoxox
Judy - As someone in your exact position at the moment...all I can tell you is you've got to go by what your instinct tells you...when the world is telling you to give him the boot I'm telling you if your heart is telling you to hold on then hold on...only your heart knows what's right. If you get hurt in the process then you have the memories of a beautiful love to carry you on your quest for that life partner...pray on it and it will come! I am holding on to someone when the world is telling me to let go but I'm basing it on faith and the fact that he says "I'm here with you" "I'm not with anyone else" "I do care for you and I do love you." I pray every day that he makes up his mind and realizes that we are more than just friends and I believe in the power of prayer and I believe we will be more than just friends. As a fellow Aquinite I know somewhere along the way we learned about self-respect and not allowing a man to walk all over you - but think about it this way - he's not abusing you he's being honest...he's more than likely afraid to jump into a relationship because he has baggage from previous relationships - yet, that also shows you he has the ability to love wholeheartedly and that is an asset not all men possess add to that that in the least he's not playing games with you and give him credit for his honesty. If the foundation of your relationship has been open communication and honesty from day one then you've achieved the first step towards building a SOLID foundation. In life we can not build a lifelong relationship without having formed solid foundations...I wish you all the best and pray that both you and I can actually achieve our goal of finding that life partner!!! Luv ya girl and take care - Flor
ReplyDeleteP.S. Sorry for the run-on sentences...
LOVE is such a powerfull word. Did he mean love you because he thinks your a great person or does he love you like he wants to be your hubby? Men can be so tricky sometimes...but he should be more clear on what he truely feels.
ReplyDeleteLove you girl. xoxoxo AND THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. YOUR THE BEST.
ReplyDelete