UNWANTED GUILT- MUCH NEEDED CELEBRATION

July 20th...
Lane Bryant GENEROUSLY decided to furnish my wardrobe for the video shoot for Stay on the 27th & 28th.  That is unbelieveable and FREAKING GREAT!!!  Myself, the director for the video and the stylist went to Lane Bryant on Fulton Street in Brooklyn. It's like stepping into plus sized Mecca heaven!  Two floors of plus sized everything!  Just great!  Spent 5 1/2 hours trying on clothes.  At first it seems fun and easy, but it does get quite exhausting, but a blessing nonetheless.

I call my father to wish him Happy Birthday. "Hi, Papi! Happy Birthday I'm sorry I won't be able to see you today but I sent you a package express.  Did you get iit?"
Silence.
"What's wrong, papi?  You're not happy."
"No...I'm not."
"Why what's wrong?"
Insert guilt-inducing comment here - here it comes:
"Well, I'm a year older and my daughter isn't coming to see me because she's got so many things to do."
Ding, ding...you are correct...tell her what she's won, Bob!
Ugh...why do I get the guilt trip?  Sometimes nothing pleases him - as bad as I try, I never succeed. 
"Sorry, papi...as soon as I get the chance, I'll take you out. I love you. Gotta go.  I had mentioned the audition and he didn't even wish me luck.  Oh, well.

Went to a production meeting, and exhausted.
Then went to a party for Elliot Loves hosted by Hennessy.  I had been invited the day I auditioned.  It was in a stylish and chic lounge, and the entire cast was there. Terracino, the director, was so excited to see me, and introduced me to everyone, and told me, I need to speak with you before you leave.  Great - there's hope yet!!  I mingled.  There I saw Javier, the make up artist for the movie who had initially suggested me for the role.  I thanked him, hugged him and had a great time.  As I was bidding goodbye, Terracino simply said, "Thank you for coming...I'll send you an email tomorrow. Drats - more waiting.

July 21st:
Voice is almost gone.
Received a phone call last minute about a show that SAME evening! OMG, how the heck am I going to pull it off?
Get a phone call from Terracino, explaining to me that because our schedules conflict and he needs a LOT of rehearsasl time with whomever plays Aunt Carmen - he could not offer me the part. 
By then, I had already pretty much figured I didn't get the part.  Disappointed, but I was at peace with it.  But then, to my surprise, he said, "Judy, we want you on this movie, and we think you would do a GREAT job playing Aunt Nani!"  What????  Oh, wow!  I got the part in a movie?  A real movie?    
"Oh, my God!  Thank you so much!  This is GREAT!!"
"We just felt it when you walked in....star quality..." I know he was saying great things, but my ears had gone deaf from the sheer joy I was feeling.  I'm going to be in a movie!! I can now die and say, "yes, I was in a movie once!" 
He told me he'd send me revisions of the script and welcomed me.  I called my mom and told her the news and she was ecstatic for me. Then, because of my voice being so fragile, I thougth it would be a good idea to post it on facebook to avoid having to call 25 people.  Um, boy was I wrong. I won't go into the gory details, but I think I lost a very good friend from this decision...she was angry that I had not opted to call her.  In this moment where I was so exhilarated, my joy was almost killed by one person's reacton...but take it from me...I deserve to be happy and at that moment, I did what I thought I needed to do to save my voice.
I cannot wait for the day to come (in August), when I hear, "Lights. Camera. Action...take one!!!"  Yeah, baby!!!