Ahoy, Beatstock! Bye, Bye, Navy Guy! (Part 2 of 2)

August 7, 2010 - KTU's BEATSTOCK at PNC Bank Arts Center, NJ

Woke up and instantly began running around. There was a lot to do, a lot to prepare for and as soon as I began running around the phone began ringing off the hook.  I was grateful that I had already decided on what I would be wearing...that saved at least an hour off the clock!  Navy Guy showed up and was excited, but could see how busy I was, and he was understandably patient and stayed "out of the way" during the frenzy.  I was told I would only get a town car, so I had prepared him with the information. But at 3pm, a HUGE limousine showed up...I could've fit most of my family in it, and his eyes lit up.  We went downstairs, when I realized I'd forgotten something and had to go bak upstairs.  When I came down, Navy Guy had already taken several photos of the limo. LOL...it reminded me how special it is to get a limo pick me up...I am a very lucky and blessed girl, and I appreciate it all...never take it for granted.

He asked me, "Here." he handed me his camera, "take a picture."  So I did...The driver, realizing what was happening, said, "Give me the camera, I'll take a picture of both of you."  Navy Guy declined. Huh? In my attempt to not act like "a girl", and be clingy,I didn't complain, but I thought it was odd. What's wrong with taking a picture of me?  On the ride over, at first, we barely spoke...hm. Not the picture I had in my mind.  We did eventually warm up.  Before you know it, we arrived at PNC.  I introduced him to a few people, and Navy Guy was cool with everyone.  He asked me if I needed water, and he really balanced well between keeping me company and giving me space to do what I needed to do.  It was time to change.  But wait...oh, my God!  It's Charice!  The girl who was on Oprah, who was signed by David Foster!!!! I begged and I got a picture with her!  So cool!  What a HUGE voice coming out of her tiny and petite little body!  It was an awesome moment!

I was beginning to feel nervous...it happens every year. But I was excited. I wore a pink lace corset with black leggings, a black lace cover and the boots that I almost didn't have to pay for, lol..(I wrote about it in a previous blog, What Would You Do?).  I have to admit, I felt pretty great about what I was wearing. Yes, Iit was brave for a girl of my size, but it made me feel sexy.  I came out of the dressing room and people around me began to compliment me.  Good, whew, I look okay.  I was asked to take photos for Versace, one of the sponsors for Beatstock...it was fun. I even took some photos with Chris Willis, who I LOVE!!   

Time to go on stage.  I was waiting...I was to go on after Kim English.  It was a gorgeous day; a perfect day for the concert.  I heard my name.  "And now...Judy Torres." A heard a rush of the people...it was a mixture of applause and believe it or not, it felt like JOY!  I was honored, I was taken ababck with shock...I didn't expect such a great response. And I thought to myself, you better do good...but it was wonderful. It is so unbelieveably overwhelming to be able to sing and feel every moment, hit every high note...and hear people resond!! Oh, what a moment!!  There were so many celebrities, and all I secretly thought was, "People won't even remember I was here...once they see Enrique, Pitbull...there's no way they even care that I'm here."  But I have to say, upon hearing the applause and response, I felt in for the short amount of time I was onstage, they cared.       
     
I walked off, and was given high fives, asked to take pictures and was bombarded with requests...that always feels good I won't lie to you.  It is very validating as a human being, to have people react  to you in such a way is a compliment.  I walked over to Navy Guy, and he said, "When you went on a lot of seats thqt had been empty filled up..."  That was it. Was that a compliment?  I think so., sort of, kind of.  I should be grateful, but I wanted to hear, "Good job, baby!"  Then it hit me...that's what the Lobster would've probably said! It's not good to compare.  Comparisons aside, Judy herself would've liked to receive a compliment from a guy she's interested in.

The ride back home was QUIET. Navy Guy was on the phone, texting. His hand was just sitting there, and I reached out for it.  He pulled it away to text..but never replaced it back to my hand.  Whatever.  I had given him a t-shirt with my name & Stay on it, along with my business card as a joke...He had some other memorabilia he'd collected from Beatstock that day.  We had kown he was leaving to head back to the port inthe morning because he had duty on Monday morning, britght and early. I had asked him what he would tell people when he posted the pics of the limo, etc. onto the internet, and he said, "I'll tell them I went to Beatstock." No mention of me.  He said goodnight and kissed me lightly, thanked me & was gone. He said, "I'll be visiting family in a couple of weeks, and I'll pass by to visit, ok?"  I sat back in the limo, looked down and there it was.  He'd taken his photos, his souveneirs, but he'd left things behind - the tshirt that bore my name and my business card. It was as if, he'd purposely left behind any "evidence" that he was with me at all.  No pictures and nothing with my name. I can gesture that it was a mistake; that he simply forgot it..but those items were on top of all the other ones.  It was psychologically sending me a LOUD message.  And you know what? Although I was sadly disappointed, I have to confess, I had reached a point where it didn't even matter to me.  That was it.  We had said goodbye to one another without actually saying it.       

The Lobster, The Navy Guy and The Strange Feeling.(Part 1 of 2)

Friday, August 6th -
Life is very ironic. Received a phone call from my ex-boyfriend, who I was with for 5 1/2 years.  I called him my Lobster the entire time we were together.  Why?  Because I believed he was always THE ONE, the one I would spend my life with, the one whose children I bear, the one I'd marry.  I broke things off after many red flags had waved in my face, and I could no longer ignore them: the fact that I'd never met his parents; the fact that he'd promised we'd live together but  moved without me; the fact that there were holes in some of his stories, and the fact that after 5 1/2 years together, we weren't even engaged...there was simply no real proof that said he wanted to future with me. 

Anyway, the Lobster called me and immediately, I felt it.  Everytime he calls, I am automatically back with him in my mind, I am automatically feeling love for him, but I am also, automatically hurt again...confused again, and angry again.  For the entirety of our relationship, the Lobster had always gone to my shows and especially to Beatstock.  It was always wonderful to hear him wish me luck before I walked onto the stage, to see the smile on his face when I got off and to feel the pride he felt for me....but for the last two years, I'd gone solo. I wondered if he called because he knew it was Beatstock weekend.  I wondered if he called because he'd hoped I'd bring it up.  I wondered if he called because he knew Navy Guy was in town. But then again...I just wondered.  What did he want?  Why did he call now?  Just last year, I had a conversation with him...we'd gone to a wake together...and it was that night I confessed to him that he still had a chance if he wanted me back as long as he'd make time to see me and promise to have a future with me.  He had asked me that night if I loved Navy Guy, and I told him I did not. I told him that I would leave any  prospect if it meant we could be together again.  He promised to take me to dinner...but nothing happened.      

In fact, he invited me out a couple of weeks ago with less than a four hour notice, but I was SO extremely worn out from planning the music video for Stay, that I simply could not. I was exhausted...and I was not up to it. I could not physically do it.  I thought to myself, it's great to be spontaneous, but if he really wanted it to be special, why wouldn't he plan it better with me?  And that's part of our problem...timing. He never had time for me. I was always the one begging him for his time, and I had to accept it....now for the first time, I didn't have the time, and I had to say no.         

Navy Guy called to say he was pulling up in front of my house. For a moment, I had no idea of how to greet him. I hadn't seen him since December, and since December a lot had happened.  In December. I didn't exactly feel like he wanted a substantial relationship with me, and the day before he left, I told him I just wanted to be friends...that's how we left things.  And then over some time, as the months passed, he'd called, angry and accusing me of "kicking him to the curb," claiming that we did have something; that he indeed considered me a girlfriend.  But then again, realisitically, I knew he was drunk too, and perhaps very lonely.  At one time, he sent me a message stating that when he returned he wanted to "offer a proposition."

Walking down the stairs, I had decided to see how I felt when I saw him instead of waiting to see how he felt.  Navy Guy got out of the car, with a smile on his face and roses...I walked over to him, and we hugged.  Yes, he was as cute as ever, and ironically we were both wearing the same color, lol.  Almost immediately, he presented a box to me, white with a big, plush, silver bow. I admit, I LOVE receiving gifts...I don't get them often, so it is always exciting to me, and it always makes me feel like a little kid!  I opened the box, and he was so excited. "I got it in Italy...is it exotic enough? (I teased him online asking him to find something exotic for me and he'd told me he isn't that creative.)  Do you think it will fit?"  I put it on...it was a jewelry set - earrings, bracelet and necklace hand-made of jade and sterling silver...very pretty, unique. He was disappointed that the bracelet was big on me...I am a big girl, with big calves, but I have little ankles, wrists and fingers, lol.

As we walked into the restaurant, we held hands..not a bad sign, I thought.  At dinner we had some light conversation.  We didn't have much time together as I had a show that night, but I invited him nonetheless.  On the ride over, he joked around with the driver, and he seemed happy to be home; happy to be back.  At the show, however, I noticed something felt off...couldn't put my finger on it.  Wait, maybe I can.  I noticed he was talking to one of my friends...a lot. That is fine with me, but when I was around him, he was quiet. He wouldn't dance with me, and he barely said one word. When I  got home, we parted ways because Beatstock was the next day, and I needed my rest.  He kissed me goodnight.  Something was missing...something felt wrong...



             

WHAT WOULD YOU DO???

I woke up today in a hurry...lots to do...lots to prepare for. Wait.  Oh, my God!  Look at my house!  Judy!!! What have you done??? There was no way in the world I would do anything until I thoroughly cleaned up my mess!!!  Got dressed, flew to buy a new air conditioner - mine sounds like it's a minute away from blowing up!  Bought the air conditioner, and drove to  the Woodbridge Mall...I change it up all the time...I have about 3-4 malls I love!  Anyway, I meet a friend and ask her to shop with me so I could buy cool outfits for this weekend's shows for Beatstock!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, sometimes you walk into a store...and you find nothing, nada, zilch!  And then sometimes, on a rare occasion, you can strike gold!!  Today, I walked into the very first store and hit the jackpot!!  Immediately I found two outfits, matching jewelry...but wait. 
Oh..
My...
God...
(angels singing over my head). There they were.

Black, leather, over the knee with peek-a-boo-toe boots!  You don't understand...to the average girl..no big deal.  But I have horses' calves...no matter what size I've been - whether a 14 (which is average for my 5'9" height) or an 18...doesn't matter. I can NEVER buy boots like that as much as I like them...but thanks to the "plus size boot", with extra room for muscularly curvy calves...that's what I call mine, I was able to try them on...and of course they go perfect with my outfit!  How much, you ask??  Ready? $68!  That's it!?  Oh, now I HAD to buy them....

The cashier was completely alone...the other worker never showed up and she was literally doing the work of 3 women...I finally walked up to her and made my purchase...
Final price:  $233. 
My friend and I looked at each other in amazement! Wow...all that stuff:  boots, shoes, 5 tops, a belt, 2 rings.  That was GREAT...the tops were not cheap...so I thought in my head a total of close to $400 or so.  Immediately my friend and I went to another shoe store.  I know, I know...I already bought 2 pairs...
But you know what I just LOVE about shoes? They always fit...I can be size 14, 16, 18, 20...whatever..but the shoes...they fit!!  LOL  Okay back to the story.

We walked into another shoe store, where I was trying on a pair of HOT silver shoes and gold ankle booties...we were still stunned that the total amount of my purchase was so low...so my friend pulls out the receipt...Because I am a frequent shopper, I immediately get 5% off my purchase.  So my friend starts reading it aloud...then she got quiet.

"What, Brenda?"
"Um, Judy..she didn't charge you for the boots."
"Yes, she did...of course she did...they were HUGE boots...how could she not see them?"

I grab the receipt. My eyes dart all over the piece of paper, desperate to find the proof.
Shoot...she didn't charge me for the boots. 
It wasn't as if I had gone home and noticed.
I was literally at the store just across from it.

I had a sudden flashback. Many years ago, I was shopping in Target...Tarjet! The cashier handed me back over $20 too much...I got in my car and when I realized it, I returned it back to her.  I wondered if I hadn't returned it, perhaps she'd get in trouble...what if she was a single mother and she got fired and now can't take care of her kid all because she made an error? Yes...I have a vivid imagineation.  I returned the money and she looked at me like, "Really?  Are you for real?"  Yes, lady, I'm for real.  LOL  I was proud of myself that day...I was able to think about it and not feel bad, because I'd done the right thing.

But I was so upset now....why??? Why? Why didn't she ring up the boots...it has to be mistake...I look for the sku number of the boots to match anything on the receipt...Nada, nothing, zilch, niet! Damn.  Then Brenda said one word to me, while I was pensive...it shut up the little devil on my shoulder real quick: KARMA...In an instant I was sobered from my confusion....oh, hell no, nothing bad coming back to me anyday soon!  I walked right over.

"Excuse me, Miss, you never charged me for the boots." 
"Oh!  Wow! "
She was quiet.
Still quiet.
"Well, thank you so much for your honesty."
There was another woman standing behind me, shaking her head, most likely thinking, "You's a fool, sangana!!  You idiot...oh, hell  no, I'd be keeping that right there...feel bad, me?  No. Nah-ah!"
She rang it up..I sadly gave her the cash.  She thanked  me again...and gave me a $4 discount, lol.

As much as it hurt, because at the moment I was thinking..."not my fault if she didnt' notice...wow...free boots!"  But my spirit just wouldn't let me.  Believe me this blog would be a blog of shame if I didn't return them...anyway, I plan on wearing them on Saturday..with PRIDE!!! They really are HOT freaking boots!!!  So I ask you...what would you do?           

VIDEO SHOOT - DAY TWO Part 2 - That's a Wrap!!!

Bedroom Scene...

Didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Now I was in bed with a stranger..a good  looking stranger, but still a stranger...someone I'd only met a week ago.  So weird!  It gave me renewed respect for actors when they have to do love scenes.  I fought the whole thing in the beginning. I knew the air conditioner was on, but i was freaking boiling, or was I blushing.  Gosh, everyone isjust staring...I dont know what I did to get through it, but I finally forgot all the faces staring and finally got into actress mode.  I decided:  THIS IS FOR THE FAT GIRLS!!" And just like that, I got over it.  I cannot tell you the whole thing, it will be more fun to watch when the video's ready I believe.  Besides you won't want the milk if I tell you all about the cow now!! But I'll tell you Milk DOES a body good, lol...Okay, I"ll stop now!

Honestly, the most difficult part about the whole day was having to remain in a state of sadness, frustraton...it became quite depressing.  At first it was hard to be "sad" all the time...I needed motivation. I recalled the last time I was betrayed by my ex-boyfriend...and it's enough to make any woman cry....the tears are automatically summoned...

I was tired...I was hungry...I was emotionally drained.  But now it was time for the "Breakdown scene."  Because certain props were limited in numbers, I only had two chances to get it perfect. I was so tired, and to borrow Lisa Lisa's song, I was "All Cried Out."  I simply had no more tears...but it had to happen.

I had nothing..but something happened in an instant on the very first take...not only did I have a breakdown but I couldn't stop crying..it was oddly therapeutic..it was as if there was a secret sadness hiding inside of me and it was allowed room to breathe...We did it once more for more footage just in case...and then I heard the magic words. "That's a wrap!!!"  Yea!  We all had a shot of Tequila Rosa in celebration of the moment...now what the heck am I going to do in the next few days?  This was so exciting it had a kind of addictive quality...oh, yea I forgot, I was cast in a movie, Elliot Loves, as Aunt Nani...can't wait to do that!!                    

VIDEO SHOOT - DAY 2 Part 1: You Want Me To What?!?!?

Thursday, July 29, 2010:

I woke up dragging just a little, but still excited to complete filming...today would be about dialogue and acting.  The entire day I am acutely aware of  "The Breakdown" scene.  By far I thought that would be the most challenging...I was sort of wrong.

I arrived on set in Brooklyn to find lots and lots of film equipment scattered all over, claiming possession of the area the way a dog marks its territory.  Immediately got my make up done, and then was given my wardrobe, or shall I say lack thereof.  Wow...this is new...hm. But if I'm gonna make this video work I wear what I'm told to wear...there's a reason for everything.  Everything on film is premediated - from the wardrobe to the scenery to the script...so the show must go on.  No one seemed to gawk in horror so after a few minutes I grew comfortable with my "morning after" look.  Waseem showed up, and all were present...the  set was ready to go..it was about noon when we finally began filming the scene and suddenly it went all dim...we had a problem  with lighthing which set the filming back a bit.  By the time we were getting warmed up into the scene, I had to leave. I had to go to WKTU to moderate a live online chat with Lisa Lisa and George Lamond to discuss Beatstock, KTU's biggest summer concert of the year! I felt so guilty that I had to leave, but work first...lol.  I left at 1:30pm.

I got to KTU and saw Lisa Lisa first. I love her so much. I remember when I was 17, I was working as a cashier in a drug store in the Bronx, Star Drug.  Whenever Lisa Lisa's Can You Feel The Beat came on, I stopped what I was doing and sang it in aisle 2 with a broom in my hand!  The song made me so happy..and here I am 25 years later, hanging out with her!!  She is as real as anyone can be - she's funny, down toearth and she tells it like it is...no excuses; no apologies!  George Lamond came shortly after and as usual he always makes me laugh. Moderating the online chat was just as comfortable as hanging out with them at a coffee shop.  I said my goodbyes and rushed back to the set about 3:40pm.

Back onset, Waseem, the actor playing my husband in the video, and I ran through our scene a couple of times and I was impressed with how natural his acting was.  There was no facade, no faking...he was himself.  His natural energy made filming the scenes so much easier...We got really into the scenes and after a while, I thought, "wow. this doesn't feel like work at all!  This is FUN! I could do this all day." In between takes, Waseem and I got to talking...He spoke about his childhood, his culture (he's from Pakistan) and I was loving the fact that although we come from different religious beliefs, we agreed on so many things. What was most impressive about Waseem (pronounced Vaseem) was how he spoke about his girlfriend!  Everytime he spoke about her, his face lit up!  He smiled everytime he talked about her, and talked about her from day 1.  Let's be honest, ladies, it's not everyday we hear a man brag about his woman.  He talked about how supportive she's been and I understand she was with him the day he came in to audition...she rehearsed lines with him....that is so aweseome!! Later on, I found myself wondering, "Why haven't I met someone who feels that way about me?  Where the hell is he? And then, I was brought back to reality very quickly when the director said, "Okay, people, we're now moving on to the bedroom scene!"

Huh? 
The what??
Um, the what? 
Inside I was screaming, Noooooo!!!  But I remained silent.  I calmed down when I told myself that it probably didn't incude me...that it was probably a scene just for Waseem. After all, he's the one with the great physique...Boy was I wrong...

I went into panic on overdrive!  I started freaking out internally.  I can't do this!!  No freaking way!  No one told me about this!  I felt oddly betrayed but at the same time, it presented a new challenge and I'd never been here in my life before.  I walked over to Waseem...

"Waseem, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Sure..what's up?"
"Is your girlfriend okay with you doing this?"
"Oh, yeah! For sure..she's very supportive."

Hm, I thought...he's never had a Puerto Rican girlfriend, lol!  For the first time, I was glad I had no boyfriend to get angry with me for doing a sexy scene like this.  I wouldn't have to defend myself, and convince him that "it was nothing!"  But I was still freaking out!  Then I went there...to the ugly place..I;m going to look like a big fat whale!!  Oh, God!  Once again, I walked over to Waseem.

"You sure?"
"Yes...We're gonna do great...no worries."
Sure easy for you to say, Hercules..easy for you, you look like an actor in Spartacus!  And then I said something so stupid Istill cannot believe the words emerged from my mouth.
"You're not disguested by me?"
"No..of course not."
I did NOT feel assured.  Truth is I usually am pretty confident about my body, but not when it's so publicly done.

Next thing I know, I'm being propped up on pillows, under a sheet and in a bra...and there are like 15 people standing around.  I was in bed...I haven't been in bed like this...well let's just say it's been centuries...

Director:  "Okay, Waseem you're going to take your shirt off and lean over her."
Oh, Dear God...get me through this...This is CRAZY!!                           
    

VIDEO SHOOT DAY 1 - PART 2. Cupcakes, Company & Complexes!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010 - Afternoon/Evening

It seemed as if I really couldn't walk...that's how bad my feet hurt.  My podiatrist told me a couple of years ago, that I'd worn out the natural padding on the feet that help absorb shock from all the years of wearing heels and jumping up and down, but I had to!!  LOL.  I was helped down off the crate, and was just about seriously ready to cry, when I saw everyone get kind of quiet.  There was a hush about the room.  The people from Cupcake Stop Bakery entered the room:   Lev Ekster,  Todd Marcus, and Chris Mitchell (chef).  They opened up a large box and to my surprise, there they were - custom made, red velvet cupcakes that said "Judy Torres - Stay" all over them!!  Cupcake Stop began in 2009 and is already growing Nationwide with many celebrities flocking to their shops...even I knew about them, and couldn't believe my eyes when I saw their logo!!  LOL....They presented the cupcakes to me, ; they said they were huge fans of mine!!  And for just one moment, I forgot about the pain in my right foot.  I thanked them, hugged them, and of course, I HAD to eat one!!  Wow...what a great surprise!  They took me to the side to discuss an idea they have to name cupcakes after me!! OMG! That is just outrageous...and I already had lots of ideas!  Just great! I thanked them again, and proceeded to the VIP room, where the winners were. I had plans for them too!

I arranged gift bags for them, that I personally made!  In them were thank you cards, a Judy Torres Stay t-shirt just like the ones worn by the crew, a signed cd of Stay and a framed autograph pic! I walked into the VIP room and handed them out to each one!  I explained what I loved most about their photo submissions.  I wanted to eat with them, but they'd already eaten, lol...it was late.  But I sat with them, and chatted, answering any questions they had.  We got into a serious conversation about a stalking experience I had many years ago (another blog, I know, lol) and we discussed multiple sclerosis and how it can affect my vision, etc.  But all in all, we all laughed,  and we even filmed a video together singing along with Stay!  I had such a good time, and it was everything I'd hoped for. I hope  they enjoyed it as much as I did...I also hope it was a good experience for them!

Going back on set, I changed into my 3rd or 4th outfit.  Can't remember because I changed so many times. LOL.  But this particular look I do remember because I was told that I would be singing it to the acapella.  I was told to not move - not to move my hands or face...just to sing straight to the camera.  And as the music began, I don't know what came over me, but I began to remember some issues in my last relationship and just felt like I was going to lose it.  But I looked into that camera and allowed myself to feel what I felt even if I did what Oprah calls "the ugly cry."

In between breaks, while I was changing and getting make up and hair redone, the crew was filming Raena Rosa and Waseem Khawaja, the actors we hired to be in the video to play the wife and husband/boyfriend respectively! During filming we discovered an amazing surprise, which I will keep under wraps and wait until the documentary comes out, lol.  I only got to thank Raena...and heard she did an amazing job!

Now it was time for me to do the "interaction scene"...the first time I would do any filming with the actor playing my boyfriend in the video.  I'd met with him a few days before, just so I could chat and get to know him, but I didn't even know what the directors had planned for this so-called interacton scene.  I got on set, and we were told that we would be dancing, ensuring lots of eye contact and passion...LOL...Um, ok.  For a moment, I felt very shy. Waseem (pronounced Vaseem) was a very sweet guy - not intimidating in anyway, and yet, I was a little uncomfortable.  Many years ago, I played Queen in a musical called The Life, and every night of performance I had to kiss this man I barely knew...I'm talking all out making out!!  And, I hate to say it, but he had onion breath every night!  It was hard, but I got through it...you do what you have to do all in the name of performing!  So, recalling that situation, I immediately asked for gum, as we were walked through the scene.

I needed mood music...you know?  I asked for some music and we chose "My Baby You" by Marc Anthony and "Carry Out" by Justin Timberlake/Timbaland...yea, that'll work!  LOL. So here we are...Waseem and I...dancing, arm and arm...and my head was down...I don't know what was wrong...I'm a pro...it's not like I'd never done that before, but for some reason, I was looking down.  The director, called for cut, and walked over to me.  The song Stay is about the "other woman" singing to her boyfriend, asking him to Stay with her.  He's married, obviously, and in the end of the song she realizes she's doing the wrong thing for herself and leaves him.  So, the director came over to me, and said, "Okay, Judy.  You're acting like the wife with your head down...you're the other woman here...you need to show more passion, more connection..."   Suck it up, Judy!  Get out of your head and just do it!   So when the music began again, I just decided to enjoy myself. It is a little strange to have a stranger holding you, looking at you with desire, and it's a little strange reciprocating. Some actually call that acting, but I think doing this made me question if I was desirable?  That's it...my insecurities about my weight, about my face, about me...they all came up.

I told that negative voice to shut up; that I was tyring to do a video here, and just like that, it was gone. I went for it...even telling myself, if he makes out with me, as Joy Behar from the View says, "So what? Who cares?"  LOL.  I admit, it felt natural, and Waseem is easy on the eyes too, lol...NO don't go there, people,  there is no interest - he has a girlfriend!! LOL...I do admit he's a fine man...both inside and out...

The fans began to leave one by one between 5 & 6pm...I can't blame them - long day! But I said goodbye, signed more autographs for them and thanked  them once again.  We did the last take and it was finally said, "Okay, people...we're done!  We do this again tomorrow!"  Oh, man..my feet hurt so bad!  I checked my messages!! Oh, my God! I forgot to send my showtape with my manager's assistant to the producer of Beatstock...they needed that hours ago!  I had 48 emails and 2 from my manager pretty mad at me!  I immediately asked for help and between the director and the Bravo staff, we had it emailed out right away.

I came home with 2 vases of flowers, a suitcase full of clothing, bags of stuff, and no personal assistant...I finally got home at 9:43pm...what a day!  I unpacked things, took off the makeup...but red lipstick is a stubborn thing!! LOL...and went straight to sleep.  The next day would prove to be challenging too!  It would be mostly acting - a scene with Waseem, dialogue and what we call the breakdown scene!  Supposedly it would require me to cry on cue...but could I do that??  Hm....goodnight!                   

Video Shoot - Day 1 Part 1- Getting Prepared!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Woke up at 5:15am.  This is it!  Today's the day I've been waiting for, excited for, blogging about, concerned about..it...is...here!  Didn't sleep much- you already know how I am, lol.  But woke up SO happy! Showered, dressed, packed a bag with intimates. Wouldn't you know it.  Murphy's Law:  What can go wrong, will go wrong...Murphy's Law in full effect - got my...um, ok, that time of the month...and that meant a BIG zit on the side of my nose too!  As if the monthly visitor wasn't punishment enough!

Anyway, my friend, Brenda, who doubled as my personal assistant (she's been personally assisting me, to be honest with you, for YEARS- not to mention she's my bestest friend in the whole entire universe!!), met me at my house and we got into the limo (Thank you, Sophisticated Limousines!).  She was excited for me, and I couldn't think of a better person to have been with me in the limo (well only one, David, lol).  We arrived at Bravo Studios, on 27th street, which is a green screen studio...I'll explain what that means in a future blog.  As soon as I got out of the limo, the filming of the documentary began.  God, it was exciting!  I got upstairs and there was such a buzz about the entire floor:  people running in all sorts of directions; the entire film crew wearing "Judy Torres - Stay T-shirts.  There was a spread in the main room - food was outrageously cool!  (Thank you, Tuscany Deli -yes, another shameless plug, but you have to thank people..it's the right thing to do!)  Brenda immediately brought me coffee & a bagel, and I was thinking, "ok, chica...you don't have to go THAT crazy!  I can get my own bagel and coffee, lol!"  I sat down, and as I began to eat breakfast, the director, David Miskin, (who is also my bestest bestest friend in the whole entire universe!! Yes, you can have more than one!) called a production meeting and gave out directions as to how the day would go.  As I had a big bite of bagel in mouth, I thought to myself, "this is so freaking cool! Look at everyone!"

Production meeting over...time to get my hair and make up done...time to be primped, pushed up, dolled up and diva'ed out! I walked into the wardrobe/makeup room and there was Javier Rosa, make up artist extraordinaire, makeup artist to the stars, including Tyra Banks!  "Girl, we are going to get you glamified!!!"  In an instant, I am smiling, forgetting about whatever flaws I had in that one instant!  And then, as beautiful as can be, there was a HUGE bouquet of multi-colored roses from the director, associate director, Erik Spink and the producer, Terence Osbourne...with a card, wishing me luck!  I felt like a real star, I really did...I know you're thinking "Judy, you always are treated that way..." No ttrue.  This was a bit different!  Make up was being applied, and before I could even put on my first look in wardrobe, the director came in:  "Judy, the fans are here!"  ALREADY?!?!  Wow....and then...butterflies fluttered and danced in my gut, all the way down to my whoo-haaa!!  Oh, they're early?! Suddenly, there was Candace, from Lane Bryant, wishing me luck!  Wow...this is just too awesome to have so much support!!!

I began to think about everything.  I began to worry about everything...are the fans being taken care of?  Did Melissa Nikkita (from BIG Management) greet them? Is she with them?  Did everyone eat?  What are they going to ask of me today during this shoot?  What is Javier really thinking about my face?  Is Brenda comfortable?  Is David ok?  I took a breath and realized the following:  there were a LOT of people here to help this be a success...this ain't no little video for fun...this is THE REAL DEAL!  I told myself, "Judy, you better do this like nobody's business!  You better bring it!!  Don't f...k it up!! You can do this, but whatever they ask of you, do it!  Don't complain!!  Be happy - this is a good and blessed day!"  And then the stylist, Gio Alonso, brought over the first look "Shazzamity, Judy!!!"  LOL...can't even remember what it was...I was nervous! Brenda helped me get dressed, put on my shoes, and Javier and his assistant put on the final touches, and I was onto the set!  Ooh, this is exciting!

David walks over, takes my hand, and smiles:  "Okay, first time you're going to do it however you feel it. Then we'll do it again and give you direction." Whoo.  Scary.  So many people around, just staring...I felt like an exhibit in a zoo...and everyone was just waiting for me to do something amusing...lol.  There was that slate!!!  You know, the slate they use in movies to say, "take one!"  So cool!!  So freaking cool!!  I heard 4 beeps and the song began...here goes nothing! First take is over...everyone applauds...tremendous sense of relief.  I felt like if I could get through the first one, I'd be okay for the rest of the day!  We did a few more takes, and then we surprised the fans.

The fans who were invited were the ones who won the Stay Photo Contest:  Leslie, Angel, and John...I invited Lisa too (special raffle we held because we had room for one more).  We had Melissa purposely distract them so I could go behind the window and say hello when they least expected it!  "Hello my friends!!!"  We were all clapping, laughing and smiling!  I welcomed them, thanked them for coming & told them we would have lunch later on. We did take after take, look after look - I was in it for the long haul. I told myself,  "You keep going until you can't go no more, and then, even then, you keep going! " LOL   And then I was asked to do what I had feared:  I was asked to stand on a teeny, tiny crate..I'm talking I think the width of my body was larger than this crate.  The director stood on it, and lunged back with his back leg on another crate, and I thought, "Yea, okay, sure...I'm an olympic athlete! I can do that!" NOT!!!   I stood on that little crate, and did my best, but my balance or lack thereof got the best of me....again, not sure if it was ms related or just that I'm a bit of a clutz.  And finally after hours of being in 4 inch heels, my right foot simply couldn't stand it anymore.  I confessed, "I'm sorry guys, but my foot hurts so bad, that I know I can't give you any better...all I can think about is how bad my foot is hurting."  I felt so bad, but I knew it was true.  Why drag everyone, forcing myself to feel what I am not feeling, and end up wasting everyone's time...and money?  And then the director told me what I knew he would tell me, "Just one more time, Judy, and then we can break for lunch."  I did what I could.  I think Lunch was supposed to be at 12:00pm...it was 2:30pm when I was finally taking off my clothes and changing for lunch!  And then, one of the biggest, most honoring moments of my life happened! To be continued!